Freezing out BFs or GFs.

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

Thank you kind sir.

[SharA2]

Jojo-- when you come back to your thread just ask the webmaster or evil monkey to delete out the posts you no longer want to see within it, that can include mine too

I liked what Krsty said about her and her husband, reminds me of my parents with each other, my dad was the talker of the couple and my mom would get frustrated with him during disagreements but in the end they always realized they love each other a lot and when in turmoil and discussions it is better to put those feelings aside in arguments and talk like best friends to each other-- I do not think they spent a night apart when arguing. You should in this section more Krsty -- you have a lot of wisdom to impart to others, especially to younger girls.

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

Thanks Shara,
That is very sweet of you to say. I like how you described your parents. I'm so far removed from dating and single life, that I just don't relate to many of you younger people. No offense for being young, I'm just old. lol

I think that is a good suggestion to jojo about asking for the unwanted comments to just be removed. Hope webbie will oblige.

[jojo]

Thanks, Blue for the apology, I 'preciate that. Thanks, GG, Justified, Shara, Guardian for the " of course sweetheart " comment but not for the extra drama after, lol. Toodles, means goodbye not disturbing again, Life, so Shara was right. I don't think your reply was appropriate, btw and don't tell my friends to fuck off on any of my threads.

Lol @ Trop's pic, so true. Thanks, Krsty for what you posted and trying to get this mess that was uncalled for back on thread, you are the BEST

When I get more time I will answer other's real replies. And I will let all these posts remain, sometimes a reminder is good.

[jojo]

I don't usually post in this section of the forums because I find that most of you are single, and I've been married for almost 22 years. Thank you, thank you. JKJK
Seriously, I do kind of freeze out hubby, but more to give us each our space. When we fight, I am usually the one who see's where the communication went wrong first. (And believe me...it's always communication and understanding) He get's so pissed off that he can't even be civil without throwing in a pop shot of some kind, so I just continue to be civil, say good morning, good night, dinners ready, do you want a cup of coffee(if I'm making some) and that's about it. It takes about 3 day's after a huge fight for him to stop being a grouch, so I just don't have much to do with him till he calms down enough to discuss things in a respectable manner. Sadly it took about 15 years to figure out that this is what actually works for us. Maybe not everyone else, and I don't do it to be bitchy, just to keep my self respect and help him keep his.

No, you, post here more. I love this reply you back & that you tried hard to get everything back on track too.

You've been married 22 years. I think over time we all freeze out our partners at one time or another, sometimes they make your blood boil that you cannot stand the sight or sound of them, lol. I like you still make him dinner and coffee even when upset. He has a 3 day window, what is your window for stuff to blow past? I like how you said you keep your self- respect.

[LifeChanges]

Thanks, Blue for the apology, I 'preciate that. Thanks, GG, Justified, Shara, Guardian for the " of course sweetheart " comment but not for the extra drama after, lol. Toodles, means goodbye not disturbing again, Life, so Shara was right. I don't think your reply was appropriate, btw and don't tell my friends to fuck off on any of my threads.

Lol @ Trop's pic, so true. Thanks, Krsty for what you posted and trying to get this mess that was uncalled for back on thread, you are the BEST

When I get more time I will answer other's real replies. And I will let all these posts remain, sometimes a reminder is good.

Well, since you're on. I would like to formally apologize to you for disrupting your thread. I do not believe I have disturbed it since then. And I did not tell any of your friends to fuck off on any of your threads.

[jojo]

That is enough out of you. Stop stalking people's threads and posts, you are not wanted on this thread. Now you are harassing.

[LifeChanges]

I am not stalking people's threads. I am simply addressing you, because you called me out in your post. It was an honest apology, and it is your choice not to accept it.

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

O.k. so I have been trying to hold my toung back from letting loose on this thread, because I do hate drama. I will say what I see going on and pray that this thread will go on peacefully.

LC, I think you made the same mistake 2X in this thread. You were joking around with a comment to Guardian on Pg. 1 and got some heat from him about judging him and being too familiar with your choice of words when referring to an ex. He set you streight and then flirted around and you did it back. GG asked you both to cool it and that didnt seem to faze either of you. Jojo sets the boundaries again, then things seem fine until you made a comment about her needing to get "some" That was the second time you commented to someone you hardly know in a way too familiar way. Maybe you didnt mean anything by either comment. Maybe you just feel at home here and didnt think how those 2 in particular would react to you?
Regardless of all that has been said back and forth over this subject or flirting or cybering or what ever, it is jojo's thread. I know you have apologised and If she could care less at this point, it is her perogative. Maybe here and now is not the time to venture any further? My hope is that you don't feel that I am attacking you, but rather that I am suggesting to let it lay as is for now, for the wellbeing of everyone and let the topic discussion continue without more interference.

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

@jojo...Hubby has a 3 day window to cool off. Mine is usually 24 hours or less. I am just too damn busy dealing with life to hold a sour face for longer. lol

[Justified]

You are welcome, jojo. Nice post, KRSTYSTLCLR ( I need to shorten your name to something more compact ) LifeChanges was told a page back she should move away from this thread by the OP and others. The moderator is also aware of this thread and drama.

24 hours is a brief window to be upset, it must be hard to go three days when you live in the same house together.

[tropicalheatwave]

I don't think your reply was appropriate, btw and don't tell my friends to fuck off on any of my threads.

just curious

can you please explain where you got that information that i underlined? where in the forums did she indicate that? or did you receive that information via PM?


by the way, i love the sympathy in this thread.

[Nostalgic]

I can't see that LC did anything out of order,
She's just another target for you.

LC, the only thing you did was flirt with guardian which caused jealousy. you wernt to know so it's not your fault

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

oh come on nos! Why would jojo be jealous? I think you are just stirring up more crap by saying that. There are plenty of people that want to participate in the lounge forums that dont want to see the kind of flirting exhibited earlier. You have been stalking a few of my posts lately, why? Do you have something you want to say to me? Looking to pick another fight? Why dont you just leave this thread alone and keep your shit talking to the over 18 area like you have been. For someone that wanted to be a moderator before, you have really shown a lapse of judgement lately.

[Nostalgic]

Haha,

I never wanted to be a mod but said I would do it. In fact I recall saying I didn't think it was a great idea after the last time and I generally had a neutral opinion on it.
when I reply to others shit, how is that me causing it? Why are you lot allowed to hassle people and the others are not allowed to disagree?
I did mention it was a good idea to remind people there is a section for flirting but thought jojo went a bit above herself.
jealousy is the only explanation, that or your all just mean to LC and others because you enjoy it?
As for me stalking you, that's just another weird random accusation from you lot.

I say you lot as I'm sure you all pm each other and agree with the leader of the pack.

[Dorn]

oh come on nos! Why would jojo be jealous?

As her friend, it would be inappropriate to openly expose Jojo's insecurities. Instead, you should ask her privately and then keep silent.

You have been stalking a few of my posts lately, why?

Krsty, that's preposterous. "Stalking" is an accusation referring to the continuous harassment of a particular individual. Nos has done nothing of the sort.

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

Wow Dorn shows up to add to the frey?
Look Nos, I had nor have a problem with LC. I am almost always the one trying to get threads back on track. My observation is spot on in this instance. In the last 8 months, you have commented to me or tried to interact very little. I would say 20 times or so out of 1400+ posts. In the last ten days is when most of those occured. I want to know now what your intentions are. Obviously it has something to do with my friendship with jojo. You said "your lot" so I can only guess that you are harboring some need to have a word with me. Unless your last post was the extent of your ire with me, let it out. Im a big girl, I can handle my own issues with others. I dont need buddies to but in on my arguements

[Nostalgic]

I have never had any issues with you. Your last few posts on this thread don't bother me even though they were directed towards me. your entitled to your opinion. I think you have it back to front? If you have an issue with me then either discuss it with me or ignore me, your choice.
I would say your wrong in your accusations.

Dorn is just stating the obvious.

[Guardian7347]

You are welcome, jojo. Nice post, KRSTYSTLCLR ( I need to shorten your name to something more compact )

I just use KRSTY, so do a couple others.

LifeChanges was told a page back she should move away from this thread by the OP and others.

Simple fact is, no one has to leave any thread they don't want to......it's entirely voluntary, based upon a respect for others. If people feel disrespected, they are under no obligation to comply with other's requests.

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

Nos, You butted in on me and my post toward LC. You assumed I was the next in the "lot" to pick on her. So I will tell you as nicely as I can....let it go.

The only reason for some of these extra posts from Nos, Dorn, and Justafied is to keep shit going Guard. That is not my intention.
I think jojo's question to others in this thread was interesting and _ would like to see it continue.
I dont offer people to pm me often but I welcome LC to contact me if she cares to.

Nos, you can look for other comments from me in the not so secret message thread in R&R.

[Nostalgic]

Just stating my opinion not butting in.
You accused me of stalking you and having an issue with you so I replied.

Extra posts? So certain people can police the forum and no ones allowed to disagree with it

Edit:: I looked in the thread and don't know what you want me to see sorry?

[Dorn]

Wow Dorn shows up to add to the frey?

My post certainly wasn't adding to any supposed fray. By contrast, I was being frank without succumbing to neither vulgar language nor wild accusations, which should be the set standard on these boards.

Lastly, and for the sake of clarity, avoid using question marks if you intend to end a particular chain of replies.

[KRSTYSTLCLR]

You wouldnt see obvious if it fucked you in the face. You havent been arount to see the extent of BS going on. Jeremy is Justified and Nos is a whore!
Bye

[Dorn]

You wouldnt see obvious if it fucked you in the face. You havent been arount to see the extent of BS going on. Jeremy is Justified and Nos is a whore!
Bye

Well, at least you took it upon yourself to go out in style.

[Nostalgic]

a whore now, haha,

Jeremy is justified, you people are strange!

[Jeff_in_Time]

Why are you all trolling jojo's RELATIONSHIP thread, this isn't Rant and Rave?
Life changes, just PM jojo instead.
Leave her thread alone, you won't get it locked, if that is the goal. >.>

I don't see jojo or KRSTY ruining any of your threads, Nos, so it looks bad you are on hers.
She isn't even addressing you, and I doubt she was jealous, she looks pissed off, that doesn't look anything like jealous.
If peeps can't post on topic why are you posting in this thread other than to start shit.
Cut out the immaturity in here. KRSTY, are you ok?

No wonder this website gets a bad rep.

On TOPIC:

I voted YES to freezing out. It is a bad habit but a useful one too

[Jeff_in_Time]

:lol: a whore now, haha,

Jeremy is justified, you people are just strange!

Just stop replying in here.
Has she ever ruined one of yours? if not, move on.
Fook sakes!

[Nostalgic]

Again, why is it ok for krst to post her opinion and not others.
Remember she accused me of staling and being a whore, I can and will reply to that.
That's right, I'm not in the group, I don't have any rights to have an opinion

[Jeff_in_Time]

Krsty did, not jojo and this is jojo's thread you are continuing to ruin.
PM Krsty and discuss like adults or talk it out in Jon's Rant thread.
Why keep shitting this thread up in RELATIONSHIPS, don't answer me in here
No you don't have any right to any opinion in this thread because you are not having an opinion on the TOPIC.
Move along. lmao

Back on Topic.

Do you freeze out your bfs or gfs?

[tropicalheatwave]

don't you think your making things worse by barking orders like your the DM police?

such as:

Life changes, just PM jojo instead.
Leave her thread alone, you won't get it locked, if that is the goal. >.>

:lol: a whore now, haha,

Jeremy is justified, you people are just strange!

Just stop replying in here.
Has she ever ruined one of yours? if not, move on.
Fook sakes!

PM Krsty and discuss like adults or talk it out in Jon's Rant thread.

No you don't have any right to any opinion in this thread because you are not having an opinion on the TOPIC.

[Nostalgic]

Likes the post above.

There's no point in trying to make reason. They are so closed minded.

[Guardian7347]

You wouldnt see obvious if it fucked you in the face.

That was AWESOME! I'm going to have to remember that line!

[Jeff_in_Time]

Yes, Silent treatments, Soul. Do you always try to date guys who are talkers too? That like to talk through issues and settle stuff that way? Is it hard for you if a guy won't talk and wants to bolt? lol on guys probably loving the silent treatment and you'd be pleasing them if you did.

I don't think it is a game to freeze a BF GF out, it is a cool down time, a stfu I can't stand you right now, don't push me thing. Sometimes it makes it worse to keep talking, least for me. Things said are regretted after.

What would you consider disrespecting you? word example, dirty name calling, bringing up past, lying on you?

Yes I tend to date guys who want to talk it out but this sometimes back fires on me because I am the one who likes to bolt out of the relationship. I never had a guy dump me, I always had to be the bad guy on that, and they always wanted to fix the problem. sometimes there is no problem I just lose that feeling so there is nothing to work out, sadly, but I never can get that thru their heads and I ended being the bitch because I wont give it another go or at least try. I try being nice about it and I felt bad but why keep something going when you know it is over and the fact almost all guys tell you to be truthful dont lead them on but I find that isnt true, it sounds nice but the reality of it is that they dont want to hear it and turn everything around on you.

It is hard for me when ppl in general dont talk. (if you dont talk I will become bored, even on here when ppl give really short answers almost everytime... it kills me) And for relationships I need you to continuously talk to me before I get to the point where I am confused by them, or I lose interest, or I feel like it is a guessing game. I go in relationships telling them my strengths and weakness (like me losing interest fast, need space etc), what I expect, my interests, goal. I expect them to know themselves good enough to do the same for me, so I can be aware of things and wont blow my top later on. I guess I am a talker because I get misunderstood a lot and this has made me where I explain things a lot so hopefully there is no confused and they can get a real feel of who I am, but it doesnt really work most of the time. I like them to talk always in the relationship not just when things hit the ceiling because I dont want to waste my time or their time, and if we communicate we will find out faster if we have many things in common or not. You can find out faster how compatible( on many levels) y'all really are before you get on each others nerves and confused the hell of each others. The better we communicate the chances of us fighting is very slim. I am actually very good at putting myself in others shoes, just talk to me and give me that chance first .

About the silent treatment being a mind game. Yes, I do agree with you that it is good for some to cool down first. But I dont consider that the silent treatment, I call that knowing your limitations and regrouping your emotions and thoughts. But for me it would be nice if the person I am with is like that to tell me that... dont let the first time for me to find that out is when we get into an argument... if you dont say anything before hand it is a sign of disrespect to me because (and you should tell ppl who you are with things like this whether they ask or not) I know I would have ask you about habits of yours and how you respond to things and if you didnt tell me then...then I will see you as a liar and playing games and it will be goodbye forever, right then and there... done you can have all the silent treatment you want by yourself because if they try to talk to me after that ...I am not listening. Also I found it to be a game when ppl try to use it as punishment or in spite (not cooling down) like it more than a day or so, ppl who do it for days and days or even a week, screw that I done with you again that is disrespect to me. I dont play that game. If they cant take it seriously and are playing games or cant talk to me now then dont ever talk to me, there is 7 billion others on this planet and will find someone who can talk and not drag out things. If you got a problem then tell me and if I dont try to change or we dont come up with a solution that will work for you then dont hang on to me or play games let me go dont pretend everything is ok and then one day get all mad at me, dont be with me just because or you think if you play enough games and annoy me or make me mad that I am going to change. I am not wired that way.

What do I count as disrespect
name calling, down look on me or others in my presence, not listening, playing games, lying, avoiding, use something against you (personalty traits or the past) to try to valid their point.Not being conscious of what you do or say is a big one too. Hiding things from me like about your health/diseases, emotional scars you may have. (you dont have to tell me at first what they are but do tell me you got some problems that you are working on. doing drugs and not telling me, if you have a drinking problem. Cheating unless we are in an open relationship. Anything that will make me think you have poor character like not paying student loans becasue you dont like the government and if you dont pay anything on it in 7 years it goes off your record (I was on date that a guy said that to me). Basically, you are telling me if you dont like something it is ok to lie and cheat, so I am thinking wow if we break up he is going to be a nightmare and will disrespect me. If you are dating/marry someone dont try to date me. Not letting me have my own ideas even if it is a dreamy idea. Some those are very vague like lying but you get the idea. I can handle a little sarcasm (when you know the person well and you are using it as teasing them in a fun way ok) but other than that I hate sarcasm. disrespectful.

I thought this was one of the better posts in here, so thought to discuss it to bring back to topic.
The same things you see as disrespectful, so do I.
I have a fooking big list on that subject too O_O I keep trying to point it out to my sister so she gets herself more respect.
She is engaged now, to a decent guy so fingers crossed, ya know.

When you say you've always been the bad guy, but if you aren't feeling it why stay?
Least you are honest and let peeps no, they aren't the one for you, you don't play peeps.
You like to work through stuff, not let it simmer under the surface and create resentments.
I hate when you ask your partner .. "What's wrong?" and then reply .. " Nothing" and you know they are lying.
You can see it on their face, come out and talk about it, and move on from that point, right?
But like I said in my post up there, I find Freezing out a useful tool ^_^

[SharA2]

You are very welcome, jojo and to Krsty. Why is it a useful tool, Jeff? Does it weed out people if they react badly to not being spoken too for awhile or another reason. I guess in hindsight I froze out my ex completely, I did not realize I was at the time though. I still think you end up with would you are meant to end up with.

[JessicaBunny]

i voted yes. i'd rather not talk when angry, change my bad mood first and then a day later talk. . . that is when you live apart.

[MissWong]

I am guilty of freezing out. Not for a long time but I shut off my phone and will not answer texts after a fight. I would rather talk the next day in person, not through calls, and texts during a fight, that is when mean words get said.