What did you do to ruin a relationship?

[Jeff_in_Time]

Was it jealousy, habits you have, unwilling to compromise, did you cheat? O_o

Be honest with us and yourself, and say how you have ruined a relationship and what you would have changed to save the relationship.

I didn't spend the time to make it work, was how I ruined one of mine.
I also let other's influence me.

[BLUE]

I said No when he asked me to marry him.
I gave up and quit trying.

[Jeff_in_Time]

::: hugs BLUE :::
That is hard to do I'd think. Cause you probably still loved him?
Sometimes giving up trying is for YOUR best.

On my letting other's influence I heard rumors and took em as fact.
I shouldn't have, was all on me not them.

[BLUE]

In this case it was

Jeff sorry honey

[Justified]

I wouldn't change colleges to hers and that upset her, even though I got into the one I wanted and she should have been happy for me. Another relationship was ruined over me telling her her best friend tried to 'fuck' me, she didn't want to know her friend thought that little of her that she would do that, that reaction was odd, imho. I heard the same friend actually fucked 2 of her other Bf's afterwards.

[Vulcanoid]

I wouldn't accept her crap talk and gossip any longer. She and her stupid friends bad-talked everyone around them. I was stupid to ever have feelings for that slut. Kicking her out of my apartment was the best thing of that particular relation.

[jojo]

I wouldn't have sex with him. lol ? Definitely wasn't a loss on my part.

[sayuri]

In my relationship I ruined it because we got together right as I was grieving the loss of a best friend, and so after a few months I decided that i wanted someone to emotionally be there for me because he wasn't and no matter how hard he tried to give me the world, the only thing i wanted was to grieve over my best friend.

[Jeff_in_Time]

In this case it was

Jeff sorry honey

Thanks, BLUE I learned though.

[Jeff_in_Time]

I wouldn't change colleges to hers and that upset her, even though I got into the one I wanted and she should have been happy for me. Another relationship was ruined over me telling her her best friend tried to 'fuck' me, she didn't want to know her friend thought that little of her that she would do that, that reaction was odd, imho. I heard the same friend actually fucked 2 of her other Bf's afterwards.

What the fook, that was selfish on her part, Justified.
My sis is the same way as your ex was with her gf's, it is so stupid.
Peeps are telling to help you, not hurt you.

@ Vulcanoid
I hate gossipers too, they are never happy with themselves or others.
Did you toss her stuff out, was she living with you then? O_o

[Jeff_in_Time]

I wouldn't have sex with him. lol ? Definitely wasn't a loss on my part.

Lmao he had an ego. Good for you, if you ain't feeling it, then that is that.

@ sayuri

::hugs:: Do you know why he couldn't support you emotionally?
Did he tell you to get over your loss?

[Vulcanoid]

@ Vulcanoid
I hate gossipers too, they are never happy with themselves or others.
Did you toss her stuff out, was she living with you then? O_o

Yeah she lived at my crib. I literally packed all her stuff, handed them over and kicked her out. This happened roughly 1.5 years ago. She never came back, even though i occasionally see her on the street.
I never asked what she's doing at the moment, but i guess she lives with her parents, at least until she's done with the university.

[sayuri]

::hugs:: Do you know why he couldn't support you emotionally?
Did he tell you to get over your loss?

*hugs back* No there wasnt too much emotional support, though he never actually said "get over it" it seemed as though he wanted me to get over it and focus on him and i.

[Jeff_in_Time]

@ Vulcanoid
I hate gossipers too, they are never happy with themselves or others.
Did you toss her stuff out, was she living with you then? O_o

Yeah she lived at my crib. I literally packed all her stuff, handed them over and kicked her out. This happened roughly 1.5 years ago. She never came back, even though i occasionally see her on the street.
I never asked what she's doing at the moment, but i guess she lives with her parents, at least until she's done with the university.

Man, you are lucky she took the cue to Fook off and didn't stalk you after.
I don't really chat up exes either, why bother.

@ sayuri
Do you think he might have wanted you to feel happy again, and he was trying to shift your focus?
Well intended but thoughtless to your grieving process then.
Peeps can't just stop feeling sad, it takes time.

[Nostalgic]

My ex by wanting to see friends and going to the gym
Meant I wasn't spending enough time with him.

[sayuri]

@ sayuri
Do you think he might have wanted you to feel happy again, and he was trying to shift your focus?
Well intended but thoughtless to your grieving process then.
Peeps can't just stop feeling sad, it takes time.

I wish that were the case honestly ^^; but no it wasnt... Cuz the final argument on his end was that i was cheating when i had be faithful, but just friends with guys.

[SharA2]

The death of my father and my desire not to be attached anymore -- so I pushed him away from me. Before that there was nothing wrong with our relationship, so the failure of it was all on me.

[JessicaBunny]

someone posted pictures of me online, not me, they were old and not nudes but the boyfriend at the time got jealous. . . he blamed me, we broke up.

[SharA2]

I remember that thread you wrote on that, JessicaBunny. Were you able to even be friends with him after? I was for awhile with my ex and then I decided better to go our own ways.

[JessicaBunny]

no, we didn't stay friends, which was made worse because he lived down the street from me and i still saw him daily . . . he chose to believe what some d-bag friends thought over the truth i told him.

[Jeff_in_Time]

I think both you and JB, made the right decisions, Shar.
Find a person who loves you, you can be yourself with and be happy with.
Life so unpredictable, why waste it on mr or miss wrong.

[irrevocably]

out of everyone in this post.... i'm the worst one.

i fell in love with her too fast, then after sometime she basically took me for granted. i ended up cheating on her then broke up with her, and i told her about my sneaking around behind her back. the instant we broke up - i threw away any memory or trace of us ever being together.

[Justified]

Did you cheat on her before the break up on purpose as a punishment or it wasn't that intentional, it just happened?

[irrevocably]

Did you cheat on her before the break up on purpose as a punishment or it wasn't that intentional, it just happened?

it was before - and let me tell you, my heart died that night.
i felt like killing myself. she was the first and last girl i ever cheated on, but the one i felt i ever truly loved. i would have preferred for her to cheat on me instead. and yes i did it out of wrong reasons - (revenge, anger, unloved) these were the feelings i felt, why?
because she didn't show her appreciation to me, like i did to her.

some women cheat for the same reason too, but in the end we all learn the lesson. i learned mine.

[sayuri]

Did you cheat on her before the break up on purpose as a punishment or it wasn't that intentional, it just happened?

it was before - and let me tell you, my heart died that night.
i felt like killing myself. she was the first and last girl i ever cheated on, but the one i felt i ever truly loved. i would have preferred for her to cheat on me instead. and yes i did it out of wrong reasons - (revenge, anger, unloved) these were the feelings i felt, why?
because she didn't show her appreciation to me, like i did to her.

some women cheat for the same reason too, but in the end we all learn the lesson. i learned mine.

Wow thats kinda harsh vokes, But her taking you for granted wasnt right either :3

[tropicalheatwave]

actually, out of everyone i'm the worst.
this is how i ended my last relationship:

[JessicaBunny]

you must be serious because this is a serious thread. hope the webmaster doesn't call the cops on you for murder

[tropicalheatwave]

the only thing i'm serious about is my non-seriousness.............seriously.

[LifeChanges]

Yup...evil clown it is

[Jeff_in_Time]

you must be serious because this is a serious thread. hope the webmaster doesn't call the cops on you for murder

Lmao. I don't think trop is into dating, I never saw him talk about girls and past relationships.

[Karengonzalez]

became least bothered about me:(

[MissWong]

My family moved away.

[hemasanghavi]

i had just one bf..he cheated me n tried to prove himself innocent..
that bastard told me sorry after four years

[cjwrdl]

I was engaged. I had attempted a business venture that was going well, but it peeled me away from her for a lot of time. There was traveling, meetings, and sales, I guess she didn’t really like that too much so one day she called me and all she said was "choose one: Me or that business of yours." I sarcastically chose the business... I thought she was just blowing off steam like usual. Until the next day she told me to pick up my stuff from her place right that minute (9pmish) because she had to go out with her friends, needless to say I've been been pretty messed up since then... I've been cold, and picked a whole new career path, found new exciting hobbies (drag racing, bungee jumping, sky diving, para sailing, got myself into peak physical condition by training with a Navy Seal), anything to prove to myself I was better off with out her. None of it worked and its all become so bland. She was the only girl I ever loved my entire 28 years of life, I always wonder why now, and I am still trying to find that love with someone else.

Sorry for the book

[JessicaBunny]

that's sad did she also know you had a lot of ambition and drive when it comes to your career? wonder what was making her upset or jealous that made her tell you me or that.
what is that about. . . i know guys who did that too, get in the best shape of their life after the breakup, but didn't while with the girl, is it to show them, look what you missed out on, or is it only a way to distract yourself?

[irrevocably]

that's sad did she also know you had a lot of ambition and drive when it comes to your career? wonder what was making her upset or jealous that made her tell you me or that.
what is that about. . . i know guys who did that too, get in the best shape of their life after the breakup, but didn't while with the girl, is it to show them, look what you missed out on, or is it only a way to distract yourself?

it's any number of reason because not all of us will react the same way towards a breakup. but those are 2 valid reasons. another reason is because the girl is clingy and doesn't let the guy have his free-time to do those things.
-Sounds crazy but i'm sure some guys here know what i'm talking about. It's happening to someone close to me, they rarely have any time apart! yet argue all the time with each other...

[lillmango]

well let's see...what I did the first time to ruin the relationship was develop severe depression...

..second was have differing beliefs...

[cjwrdl]

that's sad did she also know you had a lot of ambition and drive when it comes to your career? wonder what was making her upset or jealous that made her tell you me or that.
what is that about. . . i know guys who did that too, get in the best shape of their life after the breakup, but didn't while with the girl, is it to show them, look what you missed out on, or is it only a way to distract yourself?

I think this was to me... but it started out as a way to get back at her... then it became a way for me to be distracted from her... and now its simply for my own pleasure and well being

I don't think she knew how important a career was to me... I would never have put it before her, because that is not what its all about. I tried to get her involved with it. I wanted her to be by my side while we built something together... That is how I saw it, but I guess she did not see it the same way I did. Thanks for the hug!!

irrevocably: That is exactly what happened to me... I didn't have too much free time, but it was also kind of my fault as well. So I guess when I suddenly broke away for more than a little under a week at a time, she either became insecure, mad, both or something else... It just turned out not meant to be, and I have accepted that.

[papermoon]

I pulled the plug on my relationship when I started feeling insecure and upset that the man I loved wasn't trying anymore. (I'm not using "love" lightly here.) He continued to say beautiful things, but he simply stopped trying. Before, if he had a meeting and couldn't talk, he would send me a text to let me know, so I wouldn't stay up waiting for his call (we live on opposite sides of the world so his day is my night --I had lived abroad and have moved home).

He went on vacation to visit family and didn't contact me for over one month. I didn't try to contact him either, thinking/hoping he would call tomorrow. On the day he told me he would return, I still didn't hear from him. In pain, I sent him a text telling him that he was a coward for stringing me along, for not breaking up with me. That was what his silent had meant to me. My message upset him and he blamed me for being weak and not having faith. He claimed that he had to make a short business trip detour blah blah blah...and was too busy to call. (Why do guys eventually turn the table and blame YOU???)

I can't remember what the rest of that conversation was about but we ended it how we normally do. We never broke up but he stopped calling. I sent him two neutral emails after that but never heard from him. That was over a year ago. Sorry guys, I should've posted this under Rant & Rave.

[sayuri]

I pulled the plug on my relationship when I started feeling insecure and upset that the man I loved wasn't trying anymore. (I'm not using "love" lightly here.) He continued to say beautiful things, but he simply stopped trying. Before, if he had a meeting and couldn't talk, he would send me a text to let me know, so I wouldn't stay up waiting for his call (we live on opposite sides of the world so his day is my night --I had lived abroad and have moved home).

He went on vacation to visit family and didn't contact me for over one month. I didn't try to contact him either, thinking/hoping he would call tomorrow. On the day he told me he would return, I still didn't hear from him. In pain, I sent him a text telling him that he was a coward for stringing me along, for not breaking up with me. That was what his silent had meant to me. My message upset him and he blamed me for being weak and not having faith. He claimed that he had to make a short business trip detour blah blah blah...and was too busy to call. (Why do guys eventually turn the table and blame YOU???)

I can't remember what the rest of that conversation was about but we ended it how we normally do. We never broke up but he stopped calling. I sent him two neutral emails after that but never heard from him. That was over a year ago. Sorry guys, I should've posted this under Rant & Rave.

Wow....I am so sorry that happened to you. Though why didnt you try to contact him during that month?

[papermoon]

Wow....I am so sorry that happened to you. Though why didnt you try to contact him during that month?

Because I had wanted to see what he would do. He didn't care enough to call even though he told me he would. I don't understand why he would make the effort to continue telling me nice meaningless things when he could have easily said he was not interested anymore. We don't live near each other so he wouldn't have to see me ever again so why couldn't he have been more honest? I'll just have to find closure on my own. (haha, how dramatic!)

[orionfoxgibson]

Ive broken a few hearts.
One of them, was a verry special relationship.
Even though she would have never admitted it, she would have eventually been worn down and ceased to be happy.
I knew my life was going to be hard.
And
I couldnt bear the thought of her smile (That I got the whole world figgured out.Smile) leaving her face. It would have crippled me.
Im certain I made the right choice.
When I finnaly worked up the nerve to look her up (ten years later), I found her in the newspapers archives and discovered her website.
I see her smile there.
Its enough to keep me going.
Even though I know I made the right choice, Id be lying if a day passed that I didnt wonder "what if I made a different choice".
"Sometimes we do what we want to.
The rest of the time we do what we have to."
Wish it didnt have to hurt so much.
But thats life.
"Without the pain, without the sacrifice, we would have nothing."
I dont expect this to help anyone, but I hope it does anyway.
Peace.

[Justified]

well let's see...what I did the first time to ruin the relationship was develop severe depression...

..second was have differing beliefs...

Man, what is with some guys, even girls who can't support their partners when down? Is it outta here the fun is gone because of the depression or something else? I'm curious.

[Jon!]

Snogged current bf at the times best mate. My plan was a threesome knowing the current bf and his best mates previous activities. Didn't work. Apparently they 'hated' each other and current bf was more 'open' than I had originally anticipated so he didnt dump me either :/

[Borders]

hmm, the few i've been in it was the other that ruined it.
1st, cheated on me(several times) and apologized, which doesn't fix a thing. Can't have a relationship with no trust imo.
Another guy said he was falling for me too fast and decided to end it, think i saw him the other day but didn't acknoledge each other.
One guy just stopped talking to me altogether, not really sure what happened there. May have been the fact that i didn't want to sleep with him right away, or at least that i didn't try to? That one baffles me a bit.
The one after that had the worst personal hygiene ever, so I ended that one. Also his lack of social decency was terrible to boot.

But now I believe I have found the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Or at least his, him being 21 years older than me and all. Which is kind of sad, but I've accepted it as an inevitability.

[sayuri]

I was engaged. I had attempted a business venture that was going well, but it peeled me away from her for a lot of time. There was traveling, meetings, and sales, I guess she didn’t really like that too much so one day she called me and all she said was "choose one: Me or that business of yours." I sarcastically chose the business... I thought she was just blowing off steam like usual. Until the next day she told me to pick up my stuff from her place right that minute (9pmish) because she had to go out with her friends, needless to say I've been been pretty messed up since then... I've been cold, and picked a whole new career path, found new exciting hobbies (drag racing, bungee jumping, sky diving, para sailing, got myself into peak physical condition by training with a Navy Seal), anything to prove to myself I was better off with out her. None of it worked and its all become so bland. She was the only girl I ever loved my entire 28 years of life, I always wonder why now, and I am still trying to find that love with someone else.

Sorry for the book

Aw What a sad story... I hope that in the end, if youre successful or no, that you find your ever happiness

[snowsnap]

only had 2 bfs
1st one dated for 2ys realy romantic dumps me with a lame exsuse to go out with another girl
2nd one dated for 3m realy romantic dumps me to go out with another girl

i dont know why they dumped me they probley just got bored

[sayuri]

hmm, the few i've been in it was the other that ruined it.
1st, cheated on me(several times) and apologized, which doesn't fix a thing. Can't have a relationship with no trust imo.
Another guy said he was falling for me too fast and decided to end it, think i saw him the other day but didn't acknoledge each other.
One guy just stopped talking to me altogether, not really sure what happened there. May have been the fact that i didn't want to sleep with him right away, or at least that i didn't try to? That one baffles me a bit.
The one after that had the worst personal hygiene ever, so I ended that one. Also his lack of social decency was terrible to boot.

But now I believe I have found the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Or at least his, him being 21 years older than me and all. Which is kind of sad, but I've accepted it as an inevitability.

Wow that first guy sounds horrible!... All of them do really
Sometimes dating older is a good thing because then theyre more established, some people even think theyre sexier (i.e the whole Cougar label)

[Hierophantic]

I screwed up all of my potential relationships by being too scared. Too scared to speak up abou what bothered me, too scared of not being good enough, too scared to be myself, etc etc. I nearly ruined my relationship with my current boyfriend the same way. Luckily for me, he has helped me overcome this issue and has had the patience to stick by my side because he was confident that I was a great person.

[Justified]

^ Yeah, lack of communication messes up a lot of good relationships. Or if only one is willing to say what they feel and the other hides it.