Confusing dreams that relate to my real-life emotions..HELP!

[uniquedreaming]

In all my dreams, I never say anything! I just watch people talk and listen. Most of the time I hear people talking to me or about in a mean way. I listen but never say anything. Inside I feel like crying and speaking out(rarely). I had a dream once that my mom was telling me to do something and I did it even though inside I felt like saying "NO!", and not doing it. In real life I feel the same way. In my dreams I bottle up my emotions on the inside and try to make others happy. I always have either a poker face or a sad face. None of my dreams have anything happy in it. In real-life I feel isolated too. By my mother. My mother wants to make sure I am ONLY focused on chores and studying. I AM NOT THAT GIRL THOUGH! I am not the girl she thinks I am. I love to have fun and get messy and talk about boys like any other teen girl. I don't want to hide things from my mother, but I know if I tell her who I really am, she will do something that we will both regret. Also my dreams always have people that I have never seen before. I am so confused!!!

[PaddyMac93]

All i can think of is exactly what you've said - your dreams reflect your waking life. Your subconscious might be trying to 'counsel' (sp) yourself whilst your asleep. It might be identifying the problems for you so you know why you feel like you do.

Dont worry about your mum. All parents want you to do well, they just dont always show it in the proper way. So you like to have fun and your interested in boys - good on you! Your growing up!! You want to become independent! All i can suggest is allowing yourself to say 'no', you are your own person, if you do not want to do something - you dont have to!

Hope this helped x

[dreamweaver123]

You are mute? I was like that for a long time, and some people, who weren't my beloved loved ones, thought I was deaf and dumb. I finally found a voice and you will too. Just calmly state your needs, because if you bottle it up you might start to yell. I think the passive-aggression can have roots in the way you were raised or from school...it could have been your folks that didn't value your opinions highly enough or maybe it's the work of nosy teachers that are trying to shut their student's up every day.
We learn countless ways to hold it inside...when I first read your post, I assumed you were a dude, because men go through a lot of that stuff growing up, so seeing you're a lady I just assumed you were a first born child. These expectations of perfection can be difficult for a kid. Read the Birth Order Book...there are good and bad oldest children, good and bad middle kids, good and bad babies of the family, and good and bad lonely onlies...don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to stereotype but sometimes we just need to be ourselves and not have to play the role of some perfect girl. But, you are a teen, and these are the years you rebel and hate authority figures...it's pretty normal to hate your folks at that age!! I mean, you can learn to be a doormat in order not to walk on eggshells and then scream to release the rage. The best way to deal with your mom is to be assertive and tell her how you feel.
If I get pissed off, I go to some abandoned mountain road and scream for a couple of minutes. The only thing I hurt is my vocal cords and then the feeling's are gone. Another great way to deal with teenage angst is exercise, riding a stationary bike in the garage or jumping rope or running on a treadmill or lifting weights. You could also write in a feelings diary, and write through the darkness until you get to the light, fresh, airy feeling of being rejuvenation. It is tough to be a kid and I see your opinions and I can seriously see a lot of confusion inside you. Just hang in there and don't give up hope. Before you know it, you'll be graduated and wonder where all the time went. Time flies...it seems like yesterday I was your age.
I'm really close to my parents now and love them a lot. I think I learned the screaming thing from teachers at school that wanted me to be some ideal, quiet saint, and after high school that got old and once in awhile you need to release a primal scream. I had some fabulous teachers and some not so great ones. School, school, the golden rule, sign your name on the dotted line, for eighteen years, until you're ready for college!! Shoot for the stars. God knows it's not easy to be young.

[uniquedreaming]

You're so right, its not easy to be a teen and in the post I just wrote I am seeing new things that are happy and sad and I am not mute...but not screaming. And I tried to keep a diary to write all my anger and feelings down but my mom read it and had a fit about what I write. If I tell her my feelings she will simply state "you're only a teenager, don't focus on these feelings too much and let them mess with your head" and "I have soo much too worry about and you're making it worse!!!Just go away I don't want to see you right now". So it's not easy for me to voice my opinion. Thanks for the help though

[PaddyMac93]

Ahh, i know what you mean about the diary thing, have the same situation with my folks. In the end i stopped writing it down in a diary and started writing blank emails to myself and saving them in a folder so they wouldnt be able to find them.

[uniquedreaming]

Wow, really I may want to try that lol. Thanks!