Nightmare of my cousin who died..

[MLC28]

Hi all. I'm new here. I'm not sure where I should post, but I saw this area and thought it would be most appropriate. I've been searching forums and thought this one would be the best one to get answers.

First off, my dreams always consist of scary events. Usually they are massive floods, earthquakes, witnessing volcanoes erupt right outside my house with black skies, sitting on a mountain top with a desert field in front of me.. with hundreds of tornadoes miles down from me.. UFO's landing (Don't laugh ;D) Fire surrounding me, fiery meteor showers.. Or, the one where I had taken a nap and had a dream of myself being held back by my brothers, while kicking and screaming in a hospital.. It never made any sense to me. But, my Father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that SAME day I had that dream. I received a phone call hours later with the news. My dreams are never normal. And most of them, will leave me wide awake in my bed, due to fear. Fighting my sleep, because I don't want to go back to that same dream.

For the past 3 weeks, I have been getting woken up every single night at 3AM. It's never a precise time. But, always around 3AM. Last night, I woke up in a state of panic. My cousin, who was 14, committed suicide years ago. I was 13, she was 14. I lived right across the street from her. I remember the day, actually. She had called me to ask me to come over and hang out. I was busy listening to music and cleaning my room. I had no idea what was about to happen. Well, not to long after that, my Aunt and Uncle came home from shopping, to find their daughter in the garage, dead. I was so young, that I didn't understand. I didn't believe it and didn't cry until I went to her funeral. There were days that it took me very long to accept it and realize what had happened. I didn't like crying in front of others, so when I was alone, that was when I would mourn her death, after realization and acceptance of her passing. I have had one of two dreams of her.

Years ago, I dreamt that her and I were sitting on the couch at a family gathering, in an old house that she had never been to. Her mother was sitting on her left, I on her right. Having a great time. Then something hit me hard. A weird feeling I can't describe. I then looked at her and said.. "Aren't you dead?" She smiled and I had woken up. Now, I've been told I "Let her go." I'm not really sure if I understand that correctly. Anyway, last night.. I dreamt of her again, but this time it was more of a nightmare. I was sleeping in my dream, in the same room, same setting, same place. I was woken up to my cousin in my room. Now, what is weird about this, was that she was a child. I could see her dress. It was stripped, but she had no face, but I could see her blonde hair. I panicked, as she was trying to play with me.. (I think that's what she was doing, because she was laughing and running around me) During that time, I was trying to get up, but I couldn't. I was screaming no, over and over again. Screaming bloody murder. My body wouldn't move, I could barely scream. My screams were never loud enough to get the attention of anyone if they were close. I do remember, after a minute or so, I somehow grabbed my son who was sleeping next to me, and ran outside. Screaming.. my neighbors saw me and I was asking where my Mother was. Now, this place didn't look like my house. It was very dark and I didn't recognize my surroundings or anyone. So, my neighbors are taking me to my Mother's house. We are running through dirt, I have my son (3 years old) in my arms.. and we finally find my Mother. She is with friends, some family and her fiance. I remember hiding and peaking around the corner. I don't know why. My neighbor whispered in my Mother's ear and that's when everyone starred at me. My Mother walked towards me and I told her what had happened.. (I think). She then said, "Hunny, You don't remember? I just got back from picking you up at the hospital. You had a stroke." Now.. I have NO idea what that's supposed to mean, and that really scared me. I then looked down and saw a hospital bracelet on my left wrist. Somehow.. I ended up BACK in my bed. Same setting I described above, but my cousin was gone. I remember screaming, but still couldn't wake up. After a while, I did wake up. I remembered, that when I woke up.. I was saying something, but it was mumbled and felt as if I couldn't get it out. I looked at the clock.. and well, it's was 3:14AM.

I went back to sleep and never had the same dream. I don't know if I dreamt again, because I can't remember anything after that. Can anyone help me with this? I'm a little lost at the moment and I'm still terrified as to what's going on. All I have, are nightmares. No pleasant dreams. ALWAYS nightmares.

[foreverJung]

hmmm, well as far as I can tell the nightmares are all driven by your anxiety. The dreams you describe involving your cousin never seem to indicate any sort of malevolence from any of the dream characters.

Forgive me for saying so, but the bird's-eye view of all the disasters actually sound rather beautiful to me (with the exception of being restrained in the hospital). However, since they are nightmares, they are clearly images to feeling out of control of the forces around you that shape your life - you are acutely aware of them. It seems you have a larger-than life view of the world around you.

I find the times we're not sure how to let something go, is because we're not ready to do so yet. When we are ready, it happens quite effortlessly. Deliberately letting go of things takes practice, meditation and intent, being careful not to bottle something up or stuff it away, but to truly let it go. It takes recognizing your attachment to something and then relaxing that fixation (intellectually, emotionally or whatever). Sometimes affirmations can help - "With love and light, I release my cousin to the unconditional love of the universe."

Though you've accepted your cousin's death, perhaps there are lingering emotions that are unresolved concerning her contacting you shortly before. These emotions may be fueling some of the dreams.

Also, learning lucid dreaming techniques may help. Also, grounding your awareness in the reality that your cousin has passed and that if you see her that is a sign that you are dreaming may make it easier to snap out of your dream if you see her appear.

Again, I think it's very important to point out, that there doesn't seem to be anything malevolent going on. If she appears, it might just be best to relax and see what she wants.

Very sorry for your loss.

[Domswallow]

Hi,

For the past 3 weeks, I have been getting woken up every single night at 3AM.

It means that some part of your body starts hurting at around 3.AM. Next time you wake up at that time check your body over and see what part is hurting or how you feel generally. It may be a pulled muscle or something trivial, however it could be headache or a digestion problem.
Your subconscious creates the dreams to wake you up. It uses your past experiences and the things you fear to wake you. In extreme cases or when you're stressed it uses the sleep paralysis dream. The "idea" that you can't move, or people can't hear you is a strong waking element in dreams. However the question is why do you have to be woken at that time?

[MLC28]

Hi,

For the past 3 weeks, I have been getting woken up every single night at 3AM.

It means that some part of your body starts hurting at around 3.AM. Next time you wake up at that time check your body over and see what part is hurting or how you feel generally. It may be a pulled muscle or something trivial, however it could be headache or a digestion problem.
Your subconscious creates the dreams to wake you up. It uses your past experiences and the things you fear to wake you. In extreme cases or when you're stressed it uses the sleep paralysis dream. The "idea" that you can't move, or people can't hear you is a strong waking element in dreams. However the question is why do you have to be woken at that time?

To be honest, when I am woken up at that time, I am never in pain. I'm wide awake and sometimes scared. I don't know why, but I will always wake up around that time. But, it could be just as you said. I did notice, that while I was typing this.. I remember that I sleep with my T.V. on in my room. I have satellite that goes into updates at exactly 3AM. I'm wondering if this could be cause by hearing noise, then no noise at all? Because when I'm awake, my T.V. is off. I think I might have answered my own question. lol. Thank you for the response! These have been bothering me for quite some time.

[MLC28]

hmmm, well as far as I can tell the nightmares are all driven by your anxiety. The dreams you describe involving your cousin never seem to indicate any sort of malevolence from any of the dream characters.

Forgive me for saying so, but the bird's-eye view of all the disasters actually sound rather beautiful to me (with the exception of being restrained in the hospital). However, since they are nightmares, they are clearly images to feeling out of control of the forces around you that shape your life - you are acutely aware of them. It seems you have a larger-than life view of the world around you.

I find the times we're not sure how to let something go, is because we're not ready to do so yet. When we are ready, it happens quite effortlessly. Deliberately letting go of things takes practice, meditation and intent, being careful not to bottle something up or stuff it away, but to truly let it go. It takes recognizing your attachment to something and then relaxing that fixation (intellectually, emotionally or whatever). Sometimes affirmations can help - "With love and light, I release my cousin to the unconditional love of the universe."

Though you've accepted your cousin's death, perhaps there are lingering emotions that are unresolved concerning her contacting you shortly before. These emotions may be fueling some of the dreams.

Also, learning lucid dreaming techniques may help. Also, grounding your awareness in the reality that your cousin has passed and that if you see her that is a sign that you are dreaming may make it easier to snap out of your dream if you see her appear.

Again, I think it's very important to point out, that there doesn't seem to be anything malevolent going on. If she appears, it might just be best to relax and see what she wants.

Very sorry for your loss.

I'm so very bad at single quoting people in one reply, so sorry for the double posting. I have always felt a tremendous amount of guilt over my cousins suicide. I felt as if I would have just gone over there, maybe she'd still be alive today. But, I've always been told by family members that I might have experienced something much worse, instead of saving her. I think that's what mainly bothers me all the time. The what if's.. I have only dreamt of her twice and last night, I couldn't see who it was.. But if my mind, I kept repeating her name over and over again. Somehow I knew it was her. I'm not sure if anyone here is believer of spirits visiting you in your dreams, but if that is the case.. She knows that I am extremely afraid of said things and they frighten me more than ever. To be honest, I'm sitting here with my lights on and keep looking over my shoulder into my living room. That's how scared I get. I'd like to blame my anxieties for that. I suffer from panic attacks and get scared easily.

Anyway - As far as the natural disaster dreams.. They are beautiful in a way, but they are also very chaotic. When I say "end of the world" type dreams, they definitely are. As in, the dream I had with the tornadoes.. It was more so of my entire family being in a shack at the top of the mountain as I sat on the edge, in panic watching the tornadoes destroy the desert. The volcano dream was so vivid, that I had an experience here at home where there was a fire at a power plant. When I had looked over in the distant, I had extreme deja-vu and felt exactly how I felt in my dream, but it was reality. The fiery meteors crashing down.. That was in the middle of the desert again, surrounded by tall mountains, and a metal warehouse type of place sitting off in the distance. Somehow we were trying to escape, but it was reigning fire. Or, an extremely vivid dream of a gigantic flood with people walking out of the water with suits and briefcases, different colored airplanes trying to crash land on a busy highway, going different directions as I'm driving a bus (weird) and couldn't stop. I really just can't explain it..

As far as the sleep paralysis you were explaining, that's what I was asking myself this morning. I literally felt the power of myself trying to open up my mouth as I woke up. It's hard to explain. As I realized I was dreaming, I was in the middle of trying to wake up.. (I think) At that time, I remember that when I woke up, I was forcing some words out of my mouth, but it was more so of a very forceful gasp. Through my lips. My question before I go.. because I'm definitely writting a bigger reply than I thought I was.. How do I keep myself calm during a terrible dream? To remind myself that I'm dreaming and that this is not reality? I've heard about Lucid dreaming and have also heard about brain wave music for Lucid dreaming, but was also afraid of it. So, I don't know how to go about doing it.

Your reply was great and definitely in depth. That's exactly what I was looking for. I just hope that maybe I can get my dreams under control. Though I highly doubt they'll consist of anything else but natural disasters. lol.

Again, thanks..

[Domswallow]

Hi,

For the past 3 weeks, I have been getting woken up every single night at 3AM.

It means that some part of your body starts hurting at around 3.AM. Next time you wake up at that time check your body over and see what part is hurting or how you feel generally. It may be a pulled muscle or something trivial, however it could be headache or a digestion problem.
Your subconscious creates the dreams to wake you up. It uses your past experiences and the things you fear to wake you. In extreme cases or when you're stressed it uses the sleep paralysis dream. The "idea" that you can't move, or people can't hear you is a strong waking element in dreams. However the question is why do you have to be woken at that time?

To be honest, when I am woken up at that time, I am never in pain. I'm wide awake and sometimes scared. I don't know why, but I will always wake up around that time. But, it could be just as you said. I did notice, that while I was typing this.. I remember that I sleep with my T.V. on in my room. I have satellite that goes into updates at exactly 3AM. I'm wondering if this could be cause by hearing noise, then no noise at all? Because when I'm awake, my T.V. is off. I think I might have answered my own question. lol. Thank you for the response! These have been bothering me for quite some time.

Hi,
Thanks for your reply. Dreams are dreamt to do certain necessary things in sleep. They are a very sophisticated control system that regulate our level of consciousness.So don't take too much notice of meanings.
Regarding lucidity, when you realise that you can't move or can't shout, that is the point when the level of consciousness is near the waking level and the brain becomes active. Simply think that "this is a dream" and after that everything becomes more or less normal.

[foreverJung]

hmmm... well the first thing to do would be to get anxiety and panic under control. Dreams are fueled by emotions. If you constantly feel like the world (your emotional or social world) is being destroyed/ ending - you will continue dreaming about it. Meditation, medication and a counselor will all be of great assistance. Lucid dreaming may help. The most important thing is to relax.