Married but need advice

[rach29]

So I need advice. No judgements please..

So I am married. My husband and I started hanging out with another couple a few months ago. The other husband and I were friends In HS. We reconnected on FB and thought it would be a good idea to get the four of us to hang out.. So we had been hanging out.. Well we are hanging out one night and he comes up to me and kisses me. Few days later I text him and ask him if he wants to talk about it and we do and he says he wants to pursue whatever it is that we are doing. So we've been texting for the last month back and forth. Well his wife found out that we were texting but doesn't know what the texts say. She called my husband to tell him that he and I were texting back and forth. My husband said no big deal. She is super pissed off and has forbid him from speaking to me and has forbid me from speaking to him. He has since deleted me from FB. Although I did delete his wife first. However the texts he was sending me were not just hi and bye texts.. These were I want you, I want to see you, I want to kiss you, I wish you were here.. We have done nothing but kiss. Do these texts mean anything? Did he mean anything he said? Yes I realize we are both married... We are both married with kids, and we stay for our kids. Will he ever contact me again or is it done? I am just confused and don't know what to do.. Thanks!

[gargoylegoil]

Grow up, you're married....

[Jon!]

Grow up, you're married....

couldn't have said it better

[gargoylegoil]

Grow up, you're married....

couldn't have said it better

Right?????

[Nostalgic]

Sort out your marriage first.
If you love your husband you are making a huge mistake by making these texts and the kissing. If you don't love your husband then you need to move on for yours and his happyness.

[Guardian7347]

That which is taboo is most attractive. You wouldn't be interested in this guy if you weren't married. It's nice to get reassurance from an outside source that you're still desirable to other men, but you've taken it too far. If he's stopped talking to you, it's because she's more important than you are. You were a distraction, nothing more. A momentary feel-good thing. Of course he wanted you, but he didn't love you. Re-focus on your life and put as much effort into your marriage as you put into your almost-fling and you'll find your marriage gets much better.

[SamZee]

It sounds like he's not very satisfied with his wife anymore. Considering the things he said to you -- that leads me to believe that his emotional investment in her is severely lacking. So yeah, I'm sure he meant those things but it's not real. So far you've told us how he feels about it, how is wife feels about it, and to some degree how your husband feels about it, but not you. It's as if you wish to find some validation that he truly cares for you. That sound about right?

This is just an addition to what Guardian said. I suggest you thoroughly consider his response.

[leannafaith]

I also agree with Guardian7347 on this issue. Also it sounds like you are a little interested in him as well, so let me throw out a huge "if"- if something happened to your current marriage, and you were to see this interested guy... think about this: He was showing interest in you while he was married. How do you know that he wouldn't treat you the same way. He sounds bored, so "IF" ya'll were to date/marry-- he might cheat with you too with some other woman. Who cares if you don't see him again. He's not worth your time. Also if you and your husband are having marital problems, see a counselor. It's good you want to stay together with your kids, but at the same time, try to think about why you loved your husband in the first place, and build off of that. Flirting with married couples is a no no, heck flirting with someone single is just as bad. Don't create that kind of temptation. As a couple you deserve each others commitment.

[gargoylegoil]

Sorry.....this person needs to attend to her own marraige and stay away from other men......this is an immature question. Seems she's looking for someone to condone her behavior.

[rach29]

I was just looking for other insites on this. Yes I have had issues in my marriage. Did I intend for this to happen to me no.. Does anybody ever really intend for this type of thing to happen? We are no longer on speaking terms anyway and I've been deleted off all Social networking ect. There is no more contact. Am I working through my life yes. I am not perfect and neither are you. I asked for no judgements therefore if you have nothing nice to say then don't say it.. Did I like the attention? of course who wouldn't. I personally am confused by it all.. How someone can say the things he did and just walk away from it all.. yes I understand I am married but stranger things can and have happened in relationships.

[gargoylegoil]

You asked for advice, I gave it, whether you like it or not, that's your problem.

[Guardian7347]

Sorry.....this person needs to attend to her own marraige and stay away from other men......this is an immature question. Seems she's looking for someone to condone her behavior.

The question itself isn't immature. She's just standing too close to the picture to see it clearly. When did you get so judgemental?

[gargoylegoil]

Oh, so because I didn't sugarcoat my opinion, now I'm judgemental?

[Guardian7347]

Oh, so because I didn't sugarcoat my opinion, now I'm judgemental?

Sorry, I wasn't very clear. I was referencing many of your recent posts, not just this last one in particular.

Sorry.....this person needs to attend to her own marraige and stay away from other men......this is an immature question. Seems she's looking for someone to condone her behavior.

The question itself isn't immature. She's just standing too close to the picture to see it clearly. When did you get so judgemental?

I actually agree with you on this posting, except for the immature question part. The question wasn't immature. "what should I do" isn't an immature question, it's an honest one. The lack of clarity on the situation may allude to some immaturity in the poster, but once more we come back to a lack of experience on their part. Didn't a man ever lead you to believe one thing when his intentions were another? Of course! But you learned from it. It was a mistake of your youth, and she's learning the same thing now. You're judging her by your experience, which is unfair. If you fell for some shit like that you'd be an idiot because you already know better.
Either way, I remember a GG who was much kinder to people seeking advice. Why are you now so negative to people? Everything ok?

[gargoylegoil]

I am kind when there is a reason to be kind. I'm straight forward when there is a reason to be.

[rach29]

Well you are judging me.. I asked for opinions not judgements... I am not the one who started this. He did. I was only asking for opinions because I have not been in this type of situation before.. I am young. I married very young. I don't know what else to say for I may be judged for whatever else I do have to say..

[gargoylegoil]

I gave you my opinion, you didn't like it.....I will move on now for you cannot handle truth. Good Luck with your marraige because if you are letting other men screw with your mind, you're going to lose it. OOOps, sorry, another opinion. Good Luck

[Guardian7347]

I am kind when there is a reason to be kind. I'm straight forward when there is a reason to be.

The two don't have to be mutually exclusive, that's a personal preference.

I gave you my opinion, you didn't like it.....I will move on now for you cannot handle truth.

[gargoylegoil]

Just going to stay away from that forum and keep my trap shut.

[Guardian7347]

lol Fair enough!

[Nostalgic]

GG play nice....
You need to get some empath abilities, trade it for your spelling and grammar accuracy

As always in these threads, guardian has good advice.

[Jeff_in_Time]

Guardian gives good advice about lots of things.
Always listen to his voice of reason, Nos, an unbiased voice is better than a biased one. >.>

[gargoylegoil]

GG play nice....
You need to get some empath abilities, trade it for your spelling and grammar accuracy

As always in these threads, guardian has good advice.

I do have them, when they are needed.

[gargoylegoil]

Grow up, you're married....

couldn't have said it better

Interesting how no one came down on Jon for agreeing with me....

[Nostalgic]

Grow up, you're married....

couldn't have said it better

Interesting how no one came down on Jon for agreeing with me....

Aww but you knew I was just messing with you.
You can and do have what ever opinion you want on subjects

[Guardian7347]

As always in these threads, guardian has good advice.