I'm scared to go to sleep....

[mandadga801]

I have this dream constantly...its been reoccuring 5 to 6 nights a week....and its been since the guy i was dating committed suicide back in august. ok...here goes....

I'm walking to my house through the sliding glass door into our downstairs living room. i see jeff sitting on a chair with his back to me watching tv. i go up behind him and i put my arms around him and kiss his neck. i say, "i love you." he looks at me and says, "i love you i'm sorry." he pulls a 45 down and puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. his body falls to the floor and i start crying and drop to my knees by him. i look up and his step-dad walks in from the garage looks at me and picks up the 45. he looks at the gun then looks and me, "you did this to him. its your fault." he points the gun at me and pulls the trigger.....everything goes black....then i'm walking back in the room through the sliding glass door again...i see my body laying on the floor in a puddle of blood and jeffs next to me. our arms are out reached to each other and our fingers are intertwined....then i wake up in my dream like it was a bad dream and my light is on in my closet and i get up and open the door to see why. i walk in and i hear jeff say i love you i'm sorry. and i turn around and he puts his hands on my face and wipes my tears off my face says, it wasnt your fault...i love you....and i ask why and he just smiles kisses my forehead and disappears....then i wake up...

i'm scared to go to sleep....someone please help me

[Blue Bird]

I think it is time for you to get some counselling. It is quite possible that you have post traumatic stress disorder. Obviously what your ex did is still traumatising you and affecting you internally. You need to get some counselling so that you can allow yourself to grieve over your ex properly. A counselor can help you to find a way to deal with your pain, anger and sadness instead of suppressing it unhealthily. Read the following two links below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/DS00246

[conundrum_dragon]

I agree with Blue Bird, What happened was not your fault. I am a firm beliver that spirits visit in our sleep, since that is the only time we really listen to them..

Does his parents in any way blame you or do you feel that they do? You do need to talk to some one about this, keeping it bottled up inside does not help.

[mandadga801]

yes they do blame me actually.....they have told a friend of mine that is married into the family. his family entirely blames me...its rough...i've received hate emails and texts and phone calls even....its hard...

[ezMODE]

Wow.

That's a fucking tense/deep dream.

[Katz_Heitmann]

I can't tell you what to do but I find reading a book or drinking some beer usually works. You didn't kill him he killed himself and the adult male who came in and told you that it was your fault is your guilt in my opinion yet I agree you need to find a counselor you trust. If you cannot afford that then it isn't your fault he wasn't well and had serious problems. You seem like a nice girl and it's difficult for anyone to deal with but you have to reject the part of you that blames yourself for what happened to him. Sometimes things aren't like the movies where the good guys always win. I believe you loved him as much as you could and you shouldn't think it was your fault.

[mandadga801]

well thank you very much i have been goin to talk to someone and its really helping and i feel happier.

[chikitita]

other than the guilt this dreams express and the questions, i feel that forgiveness is needed here, forgive him and forgive yourself if on some level you feel you could have stopped this. i feel this guy jeff is trying to reasurre you no matter what love lives on! Start forgiving and healing

[Katz_Heitmann]

Then let's not forget the hate messages this chick's been getting. She needs to tell the authorities about the ones she's been getting on her cellphone and let them deal with these people issue a few dire warnings. Usually people feel sad for a while and then angry with themselves or the person who offed themselves. The hate messages are pathological and I don't like their unhealthy interest in her. I'd say tell the authorities about this and they may be able to stop it or maybe they can't but they need to know about it so they will know to watch for these people. This is off behavior and these people should be ashamed they need to deal with their own issues but you can't force them so you need to get some help to get the hate messages to stop. That is key to getting well making them stop and you should not be alone when you confront them. Let the law enforcement lads handle this nice girls like you don't need to be confronting people of this nature and even if you were a cop I'd say send someone else you are too shaken to maintain and if something goes south then you'd be in serious trouble. So you need to report them harrassing you. I'm scared for you what may start with threats can escalate into something worse.

It worries me she's getting hate texts and email and being harrassed and I think she needs to report this to local law enforcement.

[ALous]

i have however dremt of ppl close to me who have passed, my mother and great aunt always hepled me with the dreams encouraging me to talk to them but never let them take me anywhere.
i do think that your dreaming of him because of your connection with him. you should seek some help and so should his parents. you need to do you though and please see about yourself before like in your dream you suffer the same faith because you can't survive without sleep

[ALous]

i do agreeb about telling the police

[mandadga801]

everyone its ok we got it all figured out. it is all good now