This may be sickening and it's sort of long. I need help plz

by **mystichuntress** on Fri Dec 16, 2011 12:42 am

Yeah, I just want a place to blow off steam.
And I need help and advice, please help. I'm so confused by this.
First off, I'm 16 and I'm a girl, and this started last year.
There's this guy, and we were good friends. At the time this story starts, I've known him for 2 years. I've had a crush on him since a while after we met but I have always suppressed it until halfway through the year. We were both attracted to each other but we didn't know how the other felt so we always tried to keep it hidden. During the last week of school, we revealed our mutual attraction and decided on a summer fling as a relationship was pointless at our age. Because of that, we kept it a secret from our family. It didn't quite work as my parents wouldn't let me out of the house except for the 2 times I got to see him. At the beginning of the school year, I told him I had a crush on him, and he took it fine. We even joked about it.

That's the background story. Here's my problem (sorry it's long)
We said we'd stop but throughout this year we'd still do something, without planning or arranging it. It'll just happen. We said we'd stop, so he reminded me, one day. The following day, while we were sitting with another friend in the library, I catch him feeling her up. That night, I told him what I saw, and he was surprised (seriously, I have eyes). I told him not to do it because I didn't want to see it, and honestly, I don't think his mother (who works at the library) wants to see it, either. A few days later, he does it again. I tell him to stop and he begins calling me paranoid. He begins ignoring and avoiding me and that's where the problem is.

But even though he doesn't acknowledge my existence, the way he behaves towards me is confusing. He makes it obvious he doesn't want to talk to me. At the same time, he behaves as if he still wants me. Really, he pushes me away from him but tries to hold me against him at the same time. It's confusing me. Why would he do that? The things he says and his actions don't make sense. He tells me to move away from that door, but he pushes me right up against it that even if I had wanted to move, I can't.

If anyone is reading this last sentence, can you tell me what you think?

by **gargoylegoil** on Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:54 am

Typical 16 years olds, don't know shit about relationships....I'd say work on school activities and forget about BOYS until you're older.

by **mystichuntress** on Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:36 pm

Ha, you think I don't work enough on school activities? I'm the top student in my year (out of 500 other year 11s) and I do enough stuff to stay busy.

by **gargoylegoil** on Fri Dec 16, 2011 3:09 pm

So, forget about boys for awhile, you still have some maturing to do.

by **RockPillow®** on Fri Dec 16, 2011 6:58 pm

Your reply was unhelpful and immature, gargoylegoil.

Anyways, I don't know what "help" you need. You seem to know what you want from what you posted. I'd have to say that you should give up on this guy unless you allow him to feel you up so that he isn't doing it to somebody else. He sounds like the type of guy who isn't ashamed of public display of affection and won't stop if you tell him to, especially since he does it in front of his mother. You describe him as voraciously sexual, and he probably is, since he's at the age when he's ready to breed. You need to confront him and deal with his sexual desire if you want to pursue a relationship with him.

by **gargoylegoil** on Sun Dec 18, 2011 9:23 am

My reply was just fine Rock. 16 year olds shouldn't be worried about sex....they should be concentrating on their futures.

by **RockPillow®** on Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:07 pm

You can do both at the same time.

by **ArghJo** on Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:35 am

gargoylegoil wrote:My reply was just fine Rock. 16 year olds shouldn't be worried about sex....they should be concentrating on their futures.

If you're still in main school, you're still a baby.

He's feeling people up? I remember in year 10, there was a guy who was in the year above us, and when he hugged people he put his hand up their skirts and shirts. The police got involved because of sexual harassment.

If you know pervs like that, just stay away from them. Keep your friend away from him aswell.

by **gargoylegoil** on Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:04 am

RockPillow® wrote:You can do both at the same time.

Never met one that does. My niece is 17, she just started working and is only thinking of her education. Oh, sure, she likes boys, but she doesn't get involved in the drama.....some of her friends do and she calls them idiots :lol:

by **Nostalgic** on Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:57 pm

Rocks got some good advice.
You also said though he was feeling up another girl. That shows he had no respect for you or anyone.

by **mystichuntress** on Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:27 pm

WHAT!!?? Ummm...I wasn't having sex with him....as a matter of fact, I'm a virgin, thank you very much. I don't think I was very clear in the original post, then?
His mother knows, not because she saw anything, but because I told her.

And I don't know what main school is? I'm guessing you guys are all American...umm...I'm a senior at my school now, so I think that would be the same as...???

by **RockPillow®** on Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:14 pm

Then none of your original post was clear. And yet you're having a dramatic reaction.

by **mystichuntress** on Sun Dec 25, 2011 2:03 pm

sorry, I'm no good at explaining things. I tend to speak really fast and skip over details and then when I realise this, I go back and try to fill in the holes and it just confuses everyone.

by **Guardian7347** on Mon Dec 26, 2011 2:00 am

He's a teen boy with raging hormones. He's also on the hunt. He wants to keep you close as a back-up. You're a sure thing. He's clearly figured out that thing between his legs is good for more than just writing his name in the snow, and he's eager to use it.

by **esayles98** on Sun Jan 01, 2012 6:53 pm

gargoylegoil wrote:
RockPillow® wrote:You can do both at the same time.

Never met one that does. My niece is 17, she just started working and is only thinking of her education. Oh, sure, she likes boys, but she doesn't get involved in the drama.....some of her friends do and she calls them idiots

thats only what she tells you

by **kaytothetee** on Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:52 am

I don't think you're too young to be worrying about this, I did too when I was your age.
However, I also don't think it's necessary to be upset because of this little jerk who doesn't
know how to handle his hormones. You saw what you saw... so why do you cling on to him
(emotionally)? He's not worth your time, seriously

by **mystichuntress** on Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:46 pm

esayles98 wrote:
gargoylegoil wrote:
RockPillow® wrote:You can do both at the same time.

Never met one that does. My niece is 17, she just started working and is only thinking of her education. Oh, sure, she likes boys, but she doesn't get involved in the drama.....some of her friends do and she calls them idiots

thats only what she tells you

Haha, good point. Because as far as everyone knows, I'm one of the goody-goods. (Except for them who think I am a terror).

kaytothetee wrote:I don't think you're too young to be worrying about this, I did too when I was your age.
However, I also don't think it's necessary to be upset because of this little jerk who doesn't
know how to handle his hormones. You saw what you saw... so why do you cling on to him
(emotionally)? He's not worth your time, seriously

And I guess that's why I need help. I refuse to see a counsellor because they give adult's advice to kids and kids advice to adults. Besides, they over-complicate things.
Also, like I said, he was my best friend so his friends are also my friends. (I also have another group of friends, but I like to hang out with both groups.) So it's really weird when we all hang out and chat and he makes it a point to ignore me. Everyone else can feel the tension and no one knows how to bridge the gap. It just so happens his best friend is also a really good friend of mine. >.< Everyone's torn over how to act and whose "side" to take. They see my view and they see his. But it's wrong to choose over friends, so what to do?

by **gargoylegoil** on Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:45 pm

esayles98 wrote:
gargoylegoil wrote:
RockPillow® wrote:You can do both at the same time.

Never met one that does. My niece is 17, she just started working and is only thinking of her education. Oh, sure, she likes boys, but she doesn't get involved in the drama.....some of her friends do and she calls them idiots

thats only what she tells you

And what my brother tells me....you don't know her...she's not a liar and I see what she's up to on FB..my niece is one of the less screwed up teenagers out there.

by **Goldilox** on Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:40 pm

hey gurl hey, idk if youve solved your problem already but whatever, the other replies dont seem that good so imma give you mine

from what ive understood it seems as tho the guy in question does in fact still like you as a friend or whatever. but what i think is that ever since you told him you had a crush on him he's felt a bit weird around you. sort of like he's afraid of sending the wrong signals. so the way he seems to be handling it is by obviously showing you he doesnt feel the same way, but at the same time he still wants to be your friend. what i suggest is that you confront him. tell him that you wont try anything with him and that youll do your best to get over him. but you should also remind him that the way he acts around other girls isnt helping. its best if you tell him that you know he doesnt feel the same way that you feel about him. at least that way he'll realize he hasnt been hiding his awkwardness very well haha. but anyway, id say he isnt worth it and that you should just try and like him only as a friend c: and in case youre wondering, im 15 lol so you can trust my suggestions c: i hope everything turns out well for ya girly n.n haha my reply is long too. yay for long txts xoxo*~*~

by **mystichuntress** on Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:07 pm

gargoylegoil wrote:
esayles98 wrote:
gargoylegoil wrote:
RockPillow® wrote:You can do both at the same time.

Never met one that does. My niece is 17, she just started working and is only thinking of her education. Oh, sure, she likes boys, but she doesn't get involved in the drama.....some of her friends do and she calls them idiots

thats only what she tells you

And what my brother tells me....you don't know her...she's not a liar and I see what she's up to on FB..my niece is one of the less screwed up teenagers out there.

ummm...you realise FB isn't that reliable? You can easily hide stuff you don't want others to see. You can also have private chats. So unless you have access to her account, you don't know for sure. I'm not saying she's a liar because I don't know her. I'm just telling you that not all sources of information are 100% reliable. And no, I am not insinuating that your brother is unreliable.

Goldilox wrote:hey gurl hey, idk if youve solved your problem already but whatever, the other replies dont seem that good so imma give you mine
from what ive understood it seems as tho the guy in question does in fact still like you as a friend or whatever. but what i think is that ever since you told him you had a crush on him he's felt a bit weird around you. sort of like he's afraid of sending the wrong signals. so the way he seems to be handling it is by obviously showing you he doesnt feel the same way, but at the same time he still wants to be your friend. what i suggest is that you confront him. tell him that you wont try anything with him and that youll do your best to get over him. but you should also remind him that the way he acts around other girls isnt helping. its best if you tell him that you know he doesnt feel the same way that you feel about him. at least that way he'll realize he hasnt been hiding his awkwardness very well haha. but anyway, id say he isnt worth it and that you should just try and like him only as a friend c: and in case youre wondering, im 15 lol so you can trust my suggestions c: i hope everything turns out well for ya girly n.n haha my reply is long too. yay for long txts xoxo*~*~

Yay, I'm glad there's someone out there who shares my view

And doesn't think that what I'm doing is completely wrong. Because that's exactly what I did before beginning this thread. I wasn't being obnoxious when I was talking to him, actually, I had a surprisingly quiet voice (I talk loud). I told him that the way he behaves around other girls doesn't help me and he thinks I'm trying to control him. He knows I'm making an effort...and I have said I wouldn't try to do anything. Unfortunately, he doesn't completely believe me. I had once said (a few months ago when he was still talking to me) exactly what you had just suggested and he thought I was "smothering" and "suffocating" him. Which confused me because that doesn't make sense with what I had told him, does it?
Thanks! I've been having trouble trying to interpret his behaviour. The whole of it is still not explained, but I think I've got the main picture.

by **MonSTAR** on Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:30 pm

Guardian7347 wrote:He's a teen boy with raging hormones. He's also on the hunt. He wants to keep you close as a back-up. You're a sure thing. He's clearly figured out that thing between his legs is good for more than just writing his name in the snow, and he's eager to use it.

This is the post you should be paying attention to because this is accurate. Adult men do this as well, so be prepared. It doesn't stop at high school.

by **mystichuntress** on Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:47 pm

I know...but he used to be fine. And he still is. Most of the time. I've noticed changes, but he's more or less the same as before.

by **ImaMonsta** on Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:05 pm

For the most part ive just kinda skimmed over allthe replies, and those saying teens need to stop worrying about boys mite as well save your breath. You know no one will listen, we're teens, we'regrowing, our hormones are outta control and its part of life you can't ignore. We'rebound to be a little boy crazy, otherwise we aren't "acting our age" :toothless:

Anyway, i think ive sorta had a similar situation, but mine was an outta the blue attraction and not one that lasted for awhile before he found out.
And the person who said your rly probably just his back up is most likely rite. He KNOWS you like him, and he knows if he blows his shot with another girl, he's still got you to fall back on. He may not really even like you. Boys can be unpredictable and confusing, chick. Don't stress to much.
I say youshould stop howing interest in him, whether you still like him or not. If he continues to chase you, keep an eye on him. If he's chasing you but still messing with other girls, he just wants more options. If he's just chasing you and not even looking at other girls, thats probably a good sign

Hope i helped

by **mystichuntress** on Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:49 pm

Hahaha thanks. But I think it's impossible to ask a guy to stop looking at other girls.
Especially when he says, "I'm a guy. I'm attracted to half the female population at the school."
Me: *pretends to throw up*

Apparently, I'm obsessed with him.
Because he has a crush on another girl and I tried to find out her name. He told two people (who happen to be my friends - that wasn't smart) and he told them never to tell me. I was certain I had narrowed it down to 16 names - the girls in his English class whose names I got from several friends who I know are also in his class. And with my list, I further got it down to 5 at which point I figured it out.
Like I said, we have quite a lot of friends in common so naturally, I would hang around with them (and with him) and he says that I'm following him.
The same goes for when I'm walking to class and we walk past each other. I admit, sometimes I go out of my way to see him. But at other times, there is only one way to that class and I have to go in that direction.
Is that obsessive behaviour? Or is he being paranoid? Wait, or am I..? He had called me paranoid before....
If it is....how the hell am I supposed to stop it?

:clap:

I just confused myself...

by **ImaMonsta** on Wed Jan 11, 2012 3:22 pm

Lol dont ask me about paranoia, i cant help you very well with problems i have myself xD
I don't think what your doing should really be called obsessive, its just a response to not being over someone you liked. Different ppl do different things

(Example: i have a friend who will avoid the chick/dude who dumped him for the next month or so, and then tlk to them as normal like nothing ever happened.)
As for struggling to find out his new gf's name..that may be sliiiightly obsessive, but i think its mostly curiosity, and is nothing for him to accuse of being obsessive.
I hope you solve your problem soon, guy problems are annoying and usually you feel stupid once you finally get over them :whyme:

Good luck

by **mystichuntress** on Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:17 pm

Yeah, it is weird...
I confronted him once about ignoring me. Weirdest conversation if you take it out of context.

He doesn't have a new girlfriend - just a new girl he's got a crush on. Who is waaaay out of his league and ALREADY has a boyfriend. (We joke that it's not going to stop him.) He claims he's not really into her or anything (really?) but I saw the way he did a double-take on sign-out day when she walked into the block. That's how I first saw her in person.

Oh, and there's another problem I forgot to mention (damn I'm a screwed up teenager):
I'm one of the school librarians and have been for the past 3 years. I've made friends with my team members and we all want to be together again next year. As mentioned before, his mother who works at the library now knows about what happened - she's known since August when I told her - and so it's reeeeaalllly awkward. The problem is, I still want to be a librarian but somehow get around the problem that is his mother. She's one of the nicest ladies I've met and pretends nothing ever happened, but I know that when she looks at me there's just something different.
She's not going to take it well that I had been "stalking" her son, or when I "broke into her house" - long story.

I know I should apologise but what should I say? I can't just say, "Hey, Mrs X, I'm sorry about my behaviour last year etc" because that's not fitting.
And I don't think quitting being a librarian is going to help. There'll be questions from everyone and it'll just start the rumours all over again and I'm sick of them. Everyone already thinks I became a librarian because I had a crush on him (which is not true, I didn't even know him at the time even though we were in the same class). Now everyone's going to think I don't want to be a librarian because of what happened with him. Which is partially true, but the reason is more because of his mother and my uncertainty as to how I can even work in the library alongside her now.

by **ImaMonsta** on Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:06 am

Okay, well definitely don't quit, that wouldn't solve anything at all. As for his mom..I'm not quite sure what you should say. I suppose you could just start out with "I'm really sorry for everything that's happened, I wish I could take it all back" or something along those lines. And of course it wouldn't fix everything immediately, but over time things will feel less awkward. Trust me, it should help. I'm not sure what happened with the whole breaking into their house thing, but if she doesn't know, i just wouldn't mention it. Don't flat out avoid her completely, but try to avoid being around her too much..over time, she should feel better about all this. You said she was rly nice, rite? Well she should forgive after awhile then. Things should work out alright.
Btw you aren't a screwed up teenager, everyone goes thru their fair share of shit in life. Some ppl just end up with larger shares of it than they deserve :/

by **mystichuntress** on Sat Jan 14, 2012 9:05 pm

ImaMonsta wrote:Okay, well definitely don't quit, that wouldn't solve anything at all. As for his mom..I'm not quite sure what you should say. I suppose you could just start out with "I'm really sorry for everything that's happened, I wish I could take it all back" or something along those lines. And of course it wouldn't fix everything immediately, but over time things will feel less awkward. Trust me, it should help. I'm not sure what happened with the whole breaking into their house thing, but if she doesn't know, i just wouldn't mention it. Don't flat out avoid her completely, but try to avoid being around her too much..over time, she should feel better about all this. You said she was rly nice, rite? Well she should forgive after awhile then. Things should work out alright.
Btw you aren't a screwed up teenager, everyone goes thru their fair share of shit in life. Some ppl just end up with larger shares of it than they deserve :/

hmmm...good point. She knows everything. Ever since the Reveal, he has told his family everything - I'm not sure whether or not if it's of his own free will. As to breaking into their house - that's what's so weird about it. I broke into his house. I broke into his MOTHER's house. It's more like this:
I was walking home with him one day and trying to talk to him - he doesn't reply because I am being ignored but I know he can hear me. He walks into his house. Then when he opens the door again, I squeeze myself in. Or I would walk in right behind him. Once I went in through his back door and another time, I used the key. They know this. He knows what I do but still - it's like he lets me inside his house even though he doesn't want me there. Why else would he make it so easy?

I won't sound sincere if I say I wish I could take it all back. Would I? That's because when I first told her what I did with her son....I apologised as well - for taking his stuff (as a form of torture to him). It was hard admitting what we had done - seriously, who in their right mind would tell the MOTHER what had happened? So yeah, it was awkward, and it took a lot of courage. I don't think I can find the courage to apologise to her again and even if I can somehow manage to say the words, I won't be able to look her in the eye to say it.

Would anyone here think less of me if I decide to not apologise? I know it's the right thing to do - apologise and stay away - but it seems so hard at the moment.
I could write a letter but I was warned at one point that anything I do may be used against me - as if they're going to take me to court or something. Well, it was his sister who said that and she is a law student....Thank goodness I don't have to see his sisters.

by **ImaMonsta** on Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:59 pm

Sheesh, his family sounds messed up O_o I don't think anyone would care if you didnt apologize, and if you don't think you can, just wait awhile. Sorta pretend like nothing happened, but don't get toooo friendly about it, cuz then that would be awkward.
I don't really know what else to say, sorry hun :/

by **mystichuntress** on Sat Jan 14, 2012 11:08 pm

They're not messed up....just protective. His sisters behave like mothers to him....or so he said once.
*sigh* I'm sick of pretending. you? ever pretend like this?

by **ImaMonsta** on Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:06 am

Yeah, unfortunately i end up pretending quite a bit :/ its not fun, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

by **Guardian7347** on Tue Jan 17, 2012 3:01 am

mystichuntress wrote:hmmm...good point. She knows everything. Ever since the Reveal, he has told his family everything - I'm not sure whether or not if it's of his own free will. As to breaking into their house - that's what's so weird about it. I broke into his house. I broke into his MOTHER's house. It's more like this:
I was walking home with him one day and trying to talk to him - he doesn't reply because I am being ignored but I know he can hear me. He walks into his house. Then when he opens the door again, I squeeze myself in. Or I would walk in right behind him. Once I went in through his back door and another time, I used the key. They know this. He knows what I do but still - it's like he lets me inside his house even though he doesn't want me there. Why else would he make it so easy?

You've become "that crazy chick". You're stalking him and getting crazier by the minute. LIsten to yourself.

I was walking home with him one day and trying to talk to him - he doesn't reply because I am being ignored but I know he can hear me.

What would possess you to keep talking then?!?

Then when he opens the door again, I squeeze myself in. Or I would walk in right behind him.

If you're forcing yourself on him.

Once I went in through his back door and another time, I used the key.

Again, you're not being asked in, why are you forcing your way in? Key or not, you are not being asked in, you're forcing your way in.

it's like he lets me inside his house even though he doesn't want me there. Why else would he make it so easy

Really?!? You think he wants you to break into his house when he hasn't invited you in...why? This is dangerous thinking. You are clearly obsessed with him and you need to talk to a professional if you can't reign in this behavior. You're going to end up screwing up your life permanently if you don't get this under control now. I may sound like I'm coming off as being hard on you, but I'm honestly concerned about your well-being, nothing else. I know where obsessive behavior leads, and if you do something bad, you're going to regret it and you won't be able to take it back. The damage will be something that follows you around for the rest of your life, and you don't need something like that. You deserve every opportunity life has to offer and all the joy and happiness as well. Please, either let him go, or if you can't do it on your own, seek help.

by **mystichuntress** on Thu Jan 19, 2012 9:41 pm

Guardian7347 wrote:What would possess you to keep talking then?!?

Why not? I know he can hear me and I know he's listening and thinking. Besides, we were walking with someone else and we were having a debate about our Government.

Again, you're not being asked in, why are you forcing your way in? Key or not, you are not being asked in, you're forcing your way in.

If you're trying to keep someone out, you wouldn't open the door wider if they get closer. I tried it. I know he can keep me out, he's done it before. But ten minutes later he basically let me inside. And I wasn't "forcing myself on him".
I know he doesn't want me inside. So how does that explain him opening the door for me to walk in? He knew I was sitting in the garden with the dog and he opened the door, we talked and he went to the computer and left the door open. That's all I want to know.

I'm not going to see a professional or a therapist or anything. They don't help. They complain about their own lives in an attempt to get you to understand their situation and see how it relates to you.
I've been told I need help. That's why I started this topic. I don't want help from professionals. I want help from people who either understand or are NOT using their techniques. Really, I don't think role-playing or push-your-thoughts-out-of-your-head exercises are going to help.
I'm not going to be able to cooperate with them. As a matter of fact, I'll end up giving them even bigger headaches than before I started.

by **Soulkiss333** on Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:35 am

mystichuntress wrote:
Guardian7347 wrote:What would possess you to keep talking then?!?

Why not? I know he can hear me and I know he's listening and thinking. Besides, we were walking with someone else and we were having a debate about our Government.

Seriously, you dont know??

Ok, I going to tell you my take on the whole thing. Which is a little confusing for me because some of it conflicts, I guess you clear up one part...because yes it did sound like you were talking about sex, "fling" usually means sex with no strings attached, but you clear that up. Also I am a little confused about the whole breaking in someone's house....one minute you want to say sorry but then you act like it is no big deal...."he makes it easy for me", so in your mind did you or didnt you break in?? It cant be both. And if he is "kinda" (ha) letting you in than why would you apologize.

I noticed you dont like advice too much (I could be wrong) that conflicts your interest. So, I going to do the best I can but I am not going to sugar coat it.

In my honest opinion you like mind games and maybe he does too. Everyone claims they really dont and yes what ImaMonsta is right about everyone has their shit but the second part can be true but not always "some get more than their fair share", well some get more than their fair share because they make it themselves. I think most problems are brought on by ourselves, it is not outside our control.

You really want to know why he is behaving the way he is? Well, I am not saying this is the reason but it might give you something to think about. It seem when you get an idea or something stuck in you head...THAT's IT (I can be like that too). You cant tell you anything else. Example; look back at the quote I repost from you and guardian. Someone doesnt want to talk to you at that moment, maybe because the debate is getting to them or whatever. the point being they stop talking and are ignoring you but you kept on because you can ...well "he can still hear me." Really??that is controlling, self-center and very aggressive behavior, that IS pushing yourself on someone.(note: I didnt say you are this way all the time, I am sure you have your passive, giving moments as well) I know you said he is listening...but so what and how do you know he kinda lets you in because he makes it too easy, you dont know what is going on in his head...that is why you are posting this, because you admitted you dont) I think he wants to be friends with you but you become too controlling/aggressive in your behavior at times. I think he doesnt have the balls to stand up to you (it sound like he has a little) or maybe he does but you just wont listen. and plus yall been friends for a while and probably have some great times together. i could see him wanting to remind friends but you could be making it hard for him.

Oh and the whole thing about feelin' other girls up..that is normal in high school. Unless y'all are dating. In front of the mom, I have to admit that is strange. And you made a comment about why he would tell his mother...believe it or not some kids do talk to their parents and have great relationships. However, his mom could also be trying to be more of a friend than a mom to him.

Well, I am not judging you this is my take..we all have issues you just happen to post yours. I think you shouldnt worry about what is going on in other ppl minds until you figure out your mind, well not completely...none of us understand ourselves completely. Others sometimes can see you better than yourself ("when you lose your head you are usually the last one to know" haha I always like that saying). Like you obviously see nothing wrong with going into someone house uninvited...asked yourself why? and dont say because he made it easy, that's not really an answer to the question that is taking the blame off you and putting it on someone else's shoulder so you dont have to look at your own behavior and Why followed someone and keep talking when they obviously dont want to talk right now and dont say you know it is ok because you dont know what is going on in others head...unless my first comment was right..y'all like to play mind games. Most ppl wouldnt do those things because we wouldnt want ppl to do that to us. One of my biggest pet-peeves is when I need a break from some ppl and I get up to walk away and they followed me and keep on talking. It's like Hello I am ignoring you and walking away for a reason. So ask your self why you feel the need to push this kind of behavior on others. Figure out if you do like mind games and then you might get your answers of why certain ppl behavior the way they do around you as well as figuring out why ppl treat you the way they do. It all about you, it is never about the other person.

Like I said from what I got in this post that just some thoughts for you to think about or try out. If you want to fix or solve problems you try different things no matter if you think it is right otherwise how will you ever really know and not the same thing over and over again because that doesnt work, and just obsessing about it (go over and over in your mind) doesnt solve a damn thing.

Well good luck to you.

by **Guardian7347** on Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:03 am

I'm not going to see a professional or a therapist or anything. They don't help. They complain about their own lives in an attempt to get you to understand their situation and see how it relates to you.
I've been told I need help. That's why I started this topic. I don't want help from professionals. I want help from people who either understand or are NOT using their techniques. Really, I don't think role-playing or push-your-thoughts-out-of-your-head exercises are going to help.
I'm not going to be able to cooperate with them. As a matter of fact, I'll end up giving them even bigger headaches than before I started.

If they didn't help, they wouldn't be in business. Just saying. It sounds like your aversion to them is based more upon a lack of understanding about what they do than upon any real hard data. Don't give yourself too much credit, you wouldn't be especially difficult for a shrink to understand.
As Soulkiss so astutely pointed out, it sounds like you don't want any advice from anyone who disagrees with you. One young lady comes in here spouting nonsense and you embrace her advice. Everyone else you argue with. Do you really want help or do you simply want someone to tell you that your behavior is ok? If you just want someone to tell you that you're ok, I'm out.

by **cap1015** on Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:18 am

If you really want to find out some of the what's and why's of your behaviour, look up the following on wikepedia/google:

borderline personality disorder-Narcissism.

read it, and compare it to your behaviour/actions, be honest with yourself, then decide what/where you should go for advice/help.

BUT, I'm betting that you either won't do this ( because if not forced to see the facts you can plausibly deny) or you won't see yourself and will continue to ignore/evade professional help................which is one of the most significant signs of the mental issue you currently exhibit.

I'm willing to say that you will more than likely continue to answer shop and/or explain away all and any items that would make you responsible for any of the negative actions/behaviours.........

by **Guardian7347** on Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:26 am

cap1015 wrote:If you really want to find out some of the what's and why's of your behaviour, look up the following on wikepedia/google:

borderline personality disorder-Narcissism.

read it, and compare it to your behaviour/actions, be honest with yourself, then decide what/where you should go for advice/help.

BUT, I'm betting that you either won't do this ( because if not forced to see the facts you can plausibly deny) or you won't see yourself and will continue to ignore/evade professional help................which is one of the most significant signs of the mental issue you currently exhibit.

I'm willing to say that you will more than likely continue to answer shop and/or explain away all and any items that would make you responsible for any of the negative actions/behaviours.........

Good call. I didn't even think to go there with it. Of course she won't see it, by the very definition, they never do. That's the most frustrating part about them.

by **mystichuntress** on Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:50 pm

Thanks SoulKiss, that really helped.
Meh, sugar-coating. In my opinion, doing that takes longer to explain something and is just a waste of words. (yeah, I can be a bit tactless at times)
"Fling" was the closest word he could find to describe it. And that's what it was meant to be - "no strings attached". Which is why we were both against telling everyone and why he didn't want his mother to know. (It makes us both hypocrites.)
I want to apologise to his mother because the last time I saw her, she looked really worried. And I can see what it looks like from her point of view.
I've already thought about most (but not all) of what you said and there's something to try out.
Thanks.

Here's the thing about why therapists still have jobs: because it's human nature. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. That's what the therapist does - "listen" and then give generic advice. That's how a detectives/police can solve cases - if they can get close enough to the suspect, eventually they'll slip up and begin to reveal their personal life.
However, I'm not saying all therapists are bad. But they are, in general.

I've already looked up some of the personality disorders and stuff:
Passive-aggressive -- he gave me the link but I don't really understand that one
Obsessive love - he gave me the link to that one as well
Paranoia
And something else, I can't remember. But I think I had a glance at narcissism....did I? I can't remember.

I don't get it. If you guys don't think I can see it if I read those articles, then why ask me to read them? If this is one of those things someone else sees and points it out to you (like on those drinking ads on tv) why would they post it up for someone who won't see those mannerisms in themselves? That sort of defeats the whole purpose - in the case of those with the problem.

by **mystichuntress** on Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:20 pm

Right, now I remember scanning through the article.
I just re-read it.
Since you guys don't know me, I should probably have to describe my personality as I see it:

1. Reacts to criticism with anger, shame or humiliation.
That depends on whether the criticism is on an unfounded basis or not. I do get defensive at times and when I do I get angry. But I don't react like that all the time. There are things everyone can improve on which is why whenever I ask for comments I generally ask for criticisms rather than to have my ego stroked. This way, I can improve.

2. Takes advantage of others to reach their own goal.
When someone asks me for help....I'm a bit of a push-over. I'm the one who gets taken advantage of hahaha. I can be manipulating when I want information - usually the latest gossip - but I don't use people to achieve my goals. Being used sucks.

3. Tends to exaggerate their own importance, worth, etc
I don't boast. It's not in my nature to do so. Which is why I hate doing self-introductions and talking about myself like for a job. I do boast when I've done something I'm really proud of, but hardly do I do anything worth mentioning.
I'm not the really self-confident either but I like to give the impression that I am so people won't try to take advantage of me.

4. Obsessed with myself? Ha. I couldn't care less about what others think of me, of how I look (I am self-conscious at times). If you ask me, I'm more obsessed with him than I am of myself.

5. Trouble keeping healthy relationships.
This all went wrong after he started feeling up the B-girl (no, I'm not calling her a bitch, her name does start with B) in the library. Before that, we were fine. And my relationships with my other friends are fine. Same with family. We have disagreements because not everyone can like the same thing. It's normal. I can't see friends outside of school because my parents think it's "dangerous" but apart from that, it's all good.
I don't hang out with the "in-crowd" because I just don't fit in there. So that doesn't exactly describe me as wanting to only be with the best. Sure, I do want the best of everything because I'm a perfectionist - you'll be amazed at how low it takes for me to cut things out because I want it to work properly. Like my sphericons.

6. I guess the main point which confirms I am NOT a narcissist (I am not in denial, the description doesn't sound like me very much) is that I couldn't care less what others think of me. I behave like I do because I can't please everyone. So I have to choose who I want to please and the people I've chosen are the people I care about. I want to please my family and my friends and him. I have an inkling of what to do now, but I'm just not completely sure about it.

So there. I'm not narcissistic. But using those personality traits (and maybe a few more if you ask me some questions - don't make it obvious what you want me to reply) what does it sound like to you?
You guys think I have a mental personality disorder. What is it? If I can't see it myself because those affected never see it, then can you tell me? Asking you would be the same as asking a therapist - neither of you know me personally.

by **Marron** on Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:16 am

How did you get a key to his house? Did the family give it to you or did you hunt around until you found it so you could get in there after him? When I first started reading this I thought, "Oh, typical teenage problem," but serious? It sounds like you're terrorizing his whole family.

He's feeling up other girls, admitting to having a crush on someone else, and ignores you. You need to just admit to yourself that he doesn't want you. He might enjoy the attention from you every once in a while as an ego boost, but him holding you back from going is not a sign of deep feelings. It's incredibly difficult for me to wrap my head around how you can be so blind to what you're doing wrong concerning this.

Obsessing over him is going to do absolutely no good for either of you. Since he doesn't want you try to move on. Find a hobby or something to keep your mind occupied. Once when I got out of a serious relationship I started making stuffed animals. It was a good way to focus my mind, and was surprisingly easy. Find something like that so you won't be thinking about him so much, and it'll help.

And really, stop. If you have any desire to continue a friendship with him then quit acting the way you have been, or he's eventually going to want absolutely nothing to do with you. When he gets a girlfriend he won't put up with having you around if you're still acting like that.

by **mystichuntress** on Tue Jan 24, 2012 9:07 pm

Marron wrote:How did you get a key to his house? Did the family give it to you or did you hunt around until you found it so you could get in there after him?

Actually, it took me less than 5 seconds to find the key - in the dark without my glasses. It took me longer to open the door... if his family had given it to me, they would've asked for it back ages ago.

Making stuffed animals! That sounds soooo fun! Unfortunately, I can't get the materials to do so. Not to mention my bad hand-eye coordination. Instead, I'm just learning how to write with my left hand, extending myself on Japanese grammar and continuing my crusade to read my mountain of books before school starts next week. I tried exercise, but I'm just not the athletic type. :lol:

I really have tried to stop. I even made it my New Year's Resolution to leave him alone - and I never go back on a Resolution. I think it might be doing some good. I think he knows I'm really trying because he unblocked me from Facebook again. (No, I'm not going to add him especially since I was the one who deleted him in the first place. If he wants to be my friend, I know he'll talk to me himself.)

by **cap1015** on Thu Jan 26, 2012 6:57 am

mystichuntress wrote:Right, now I remember scanning through the article.
I just re-read it.
Since you guys don't know me, I should probably have to describe my personality as I see it:

1. Reacts to criticism with anger, shame or humiliation.
That depends on whether the criticism is on an unfounded basis or not. I do get defensive at times and when I do I get angry. But I don't react like that all the time. There are things everyone can improve on which is why whenever I ask for comments I generally ask for criticisms rather than to have my ego stroked. This way, I can improve.

If I read correctly you do say that it made you angry when he wouldn't talk to you ( most people see as a critism/ignoring) also that it made you angry when people questioned you on your confession. We all sometimes get defensive and angry, and realizing we can always improve is important, but thinking/saying this in a moment of reflection versus when you are being criticized if vastly different. Try to think of the times you are criticized or you perceive that you have been criticized and analyze you reactions, also ask your true friends what they think of how you handle criticism, you may be surprised at their observations/perceptions.

mystichuntress wrote:2. Takes advantage of others to reach their own goal.
When someone asks me for help....I'm a bit of a push-over. I'm the one who gets taken advantage of hahaha. I can be manipulating when I want information - usually the latest gossip - but I don't use people to achieve my goals. Being used sucks.

you just said I can be manipulating when i want information, but I don't use people to achieve my goals----selective wording. Isn't your "goal" sometimes to get information? And it appears that you have a deep/dire need to know what the latest gossip is, to the point of manipulation of others to achieve. I would be willing to bet that if you were honest, there are other times you are willing to do this.......like find a key to get in someone's house, tell their mothers things, etc..

mystichuntress wrote:3. Tends to exaggerate their own importance, worth, etc
I don't boast. It's not in my nature to do so. Which is why I hate doing self-introductions and talking about myself like for a job. I do boast when I've done something I'm really proud of, but hardly do I do anything worth mentioning.
I'm not the really self-confident either but I like to give the impression that I am so people won't try to take advantage of me.

Re-read this, it does not say "boast", what it says is that you "overstate" or "exaggerate" your own importance. An example would be that you assume that people MUST be gossiping about you all the time, because of course everyone is always thinking and talking about you.....when in reality most people spend 99.999% of the time thinking about themselves and their life. Does that make sense? This trait is not boasting, but not having an accurate picture of yourself in the dynamics of your family/social circle.

mystichuntress wrote:4. Obsessed with myself? Ha. I couldn't care less about what others think of me, of how I look (I am self-conscious at times). If you ask me, I'm more obsessed with him than I am of myself.

Please re-read this thread, in several posts you speak volumes about how the gossip about you is not true, why you did or did not become a librarian and other examples of where you are very concerned with what is said or thought about you. The fact that you made this thread asking for advice is evidence of you being concerned with what these people think of you and how you can change or correct the situation. If you truly didn't care you would have never gotten to this point.

mystichuntress wrote:5. Trouble keeping healthy relationships.
This all went wrong after he started feeling up the B-girl (no, I'm not calling her a bitch, her name does start with B) in the library. Before that, we were fine. And my relationships with my other friends are fine. Same with family. We have disagreements because not everyone can like the same thing. It's normal. I can't see friends outside of school because my parents think it's "dangerous" but apart from that, it's all good.
I don't hang out with the "in-crowd" because I just don't fit in there. So that doesn't exactly describe me as wanting to only be with the best. Sure, I do want the best of everything because I'm a perfectionist - you'll be amazed at how low it takes for me to cut things out because I want it to work properly. Like my sphericons.

I would suggest you look at your history and see if this is true or if you have patterns of friendships ending.

mystichuntress wrote:6. I guess the main point which confirms I am NOT a narcissist (I am not in denial, the description doesn't sound like me very much) is that I couldn't care less what others think of me. I behave like I do because I can't please everyone. So I have to choose who I want to please and the people I've chosen are the people I care about. I want to please my family and my friends and him. I have an inkling of what to do now, but I'm just not completely sure about it.

It sounds like you have answered the questions much like many narcissitic people would, you explain away anything that fits the description. Also for the third time you have stated you don't care what others think, yet you must admit your actions say otherwise.

mystichuntress wrote:So there. I'm not narcissistic. But using those personality traits (and maybe a few more if you ask me some questions - don't make it obvious what you want me to reply) what does it sound like to you?
You guys think I have a mental personality disorder. What is it? If I can't see it myself because those affected never see it, then can you tell me? Asking you would be the same as asking a therapist - neither of you know me personally.

Everyone is narcissistic to a point, it is a survival and coping skill. No one is saying you are mentally ill, I'm going to say that you are immature and would be greatly helped by someone explaining and showing what normal social skills and actions look like. Your true freinds more than likely are afraid to tell you the truth of what they think of your actions, as you more than likely make anything you don't like to hear into a very negative situation, and your constant concern/worry over you being the subject of gossip is very telling. IF you want to be happier, try going two whole days of truly listening to your friends, talking about them and their issues, and not complaining once, try it, it is hard, but it will change your life. You seem like someone who wants to do better, be better and enjoy life, ........you can, but you can't do it when you are as conflicted over your self image as you seem to be.

Just my thoughts.

by **mystichuntress** on Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:12 pm

cap1015 wrote:If I read correctly you do say that it made you angry when he wouldn't talk to you ( most people see as a critism/ignoring) also that it made you angry when people questioned you on your confession. We all sometimes get defensive and angry, and realizing we can always improve is important, but thinking/saying this in a moment of reflection versus when you are being criticized if vastly different. Try to think of the times you are criticized or you perceive that you have been criticized and analyze you reactions, also ask your true friends what they think of how you handle criticism, you may be surprised at their observations/perceptions.

If what you say is true and someone doesn't believe you, I think it's fair to say anyone would get angry. Criticism on an unfounded base can sting, but not enough to make me angry. Like this time 2 years ago with my digital art of several images superimposed on photoshop - one of my friends (who is really blunt because he believes he shouldn't waste words sugar-coating) said it was crap and stupid.
Me: ...why?
Him: Mainly because of that. what is that thing in the corner? Is it a dead tree or something?
Me: *slightly annoyed* it's a book. How can you say the whole thing is crap if it's just that one element?
Him: Because no one will understand it. And why do you have a book on a sharecropping farm?
Me: *sighs* we're supposed to incorporate elements of the storyline in it etc etc.
Him: I can't believe you call this "art".
Me: *mock horror* You hurt me. I'm not the best photoshopper but I try.
Of course, he thought I was seriously hurt...he apologised for calling my "art" crap but still thought the book could've been removed. I agreed eventually however the picture couldn't be saved.

you just said I can be manipulating when i want information, but I don't use people to achieve my goals----selective wording. Isn't your "goal" sometimes to get information? And it appears that you have a deep/dire need to know what the latest gossip is, to the point of manipulation of others to achieve. I would be willing to bet that if you were honest, there are other times you are willing to do this.......like find a key to get in someone's house, tell their mothers things, etc..

When I say "manipulating", I mean I manipulate the conversation, not the actual person. Like subtly steering the conversation into the direction I want so I can ask questions without being too suspicious.
Let's see ... the last instance when I did that wasn't to benefit me but to benefit him. This was over a year ago and it's sort of a long story. In short: he had a crush on my best friend (which is how we became friends) and she had been ignoring him since 5 months after they met (so I would've thought he'd be more empathetic). Anyways, he got over her but still wanted to be her friend and sent her an email - but she never replied. He "hinted" he wanted me to somehow get her to read it or if she had already read it, why she refused to reply - believe me, he wouldn't stop complaining about it. So I casually logged onto my Gmail during Japanese (the 3 of us were in the same class) and asked her if she'd changed her email address (I already knew she had, but just an excuse to talk to her again - we hadn't spoken in 10 months). I then told her I had a really cool new siggy and said I'll email it to her and found out she never checks her email but she'll make this exception. When she went home to go through her emails (class was over) she found the one he sent her.
So really, I wasn't manipulating her for anything bad. I never do that. I only steer the conversation. And if the other person refuses to give me the answers, I stop. Because pestering them won't really help. Eventually, they tell me of their own accord after I've left them alone.

Re-read this, it does not say "boast", what it says is that you "overstate" or "exaggerate" your own importance. An example would be that you assume that people MUST be gossiping about you all the time, because of course everyone is always thinking and talking about you.....when in reality most people spend 99.999% of the time thinking about themselves and their life. Does that make sense? This trait is not boasting, but not having an accurate picture of yourself in the dynamics of your family/social circle.

I don't assume they're gossiping about me all the time. I only know they're gossiping about me because 10 people (in the space of 3 minutes) asked me if the rumours are true. Also, whenever I read, people assume I cannot hear their conversation - when I can understand what they're saying especially because they're so careless with names. Not to mention my friends told me what they'd heard on the grapevine. (French class is the best for doing this) Of course, that stopped happening after a while, so I knew everyone's gotten sick of that. There's still snickers and the occasional rumour cropping up but only because nothing "interesting has happened to anyone in our class" as one of the girls had put it. Actually, I know most people don't talk or think about me at all (unless it's about that) because I don't know most of them - only the people I talk to. And it's no fun to gossip about people you don't know.

Please re-read this thread, in several posts you speak volumes about how the gossip about you is not true, why you did or did not become a librarian and other examples of where you are very concerned with what is said or thought about you. The fact that you made this thread asking for advice is evidence of you being concerned with what these people think of you and how you can change or correct the situation. If you truly didn't care you would have never gotten to this point.

The reason I'm concerned about what is said is because I want those rumours to stop. I also want those stupid notes to stop appearing in my locker - the drawings are NOT flattering. Which explains the librarian problem: the rumours have more or less died down and if I don't get around this problem, they'll start up again. It's typical of Michaela and Andra - they never let anything go. This guy in our class, there was a rumour he was masturbating in the guys bathroom. We all had a laugh. And they still talk about it - 3 years later.
I don't care what they think about me. I just want the majority of that annoying stuff to stop. Like I said, I'm concerned about what family and friends think of me because they're important. I couldn't care less about the others. Otherwise, I wouldn't be on this forum; instead I would be getting my hair done and putting on copious amounts of makeup etc.

I would suggest you look at your history and see if this is true or if you have patterns of friendships ending.

The only friendship which has ended was the one with my best friend (the girl he had a crush on). AND to make things clear, I ended that friendship, not because I was jealous (I actually wanted him to go out with her) but because she made me choose. She hated his guts back then and I was friends with him. I was also her best friend. She got sick of me taking his side so she made me choose who I'd rather have as a friend. I thought it ridiculous I should have to choose between friends because a real friend would never ask me to make such a choice so I stopped it there. She was actually quite surprised by my decision. We occasionally talk now but most of the time she pretends she doesn't know me and I'm fine with that.
Oh, and the other friendship I lost was the one with him. All other cases - we grew apart. We grow up, we no longer match, and drift off. We're not enemies, just distant friends and we catch up whenever we see each other.

It sounds like you have answered the questions much like many narcissitic people would, you explain away anything that fits the description. Also for the third time you have stated you don't care what others think, yet you must admit your actions say otherwise.

If I fully describe my actions, will that explain myself to you? I only sum everything up because otherwise the post would be too long. If you want any situation explained in full detail, ask, I have a surprisingly good memory for conversations. Not word-for-word in every scenario, but close enough to get the right message.

Everyone is narcissistic to a point, it is a survival and coping skill. No one is saying you are mentally ill, I'm going to say that you are immature and would be greatly helped by someone explaining and showing what normal social skills and actions look like. Your true freinds more than likely are afraid to tell you the truth of what they think of your actions, as you more than likely make anything you don't like to hear into a very negative situation, and your constant concern/worry over you being the subject of gossip is very telling. IF you want to be happier, try going two whole days of truly listening to your friends, talking about them and their issues, and not complaining once, try it, it is hard, but it will change your life. You seem like someone who wants to do better, be better and enjoy life, ........you can, but you can't do it when you are as conflicted over your self image as you seem to be.

On the contrary. The guy who dissed my art, he's one of my best friends (and also happens to be his best friend) and he's blunt. He always tells me about the truth of my actions - even though he's scared of my probable reactions. But he still tells me so I can reflect on it and he hopes he can persuade me not to do something. Most of the time, he's successful. I suppose if I weren't so stubborn, he'd be successful all of the time.
I haven't been able to talk to other friends (the girls) very much this year because I'm only allowed to see them at school (courtesy of my parents) and we've had half school days due to site-sharing. And I behave differently around different people - as does everyone else. So really, the girls wouldn't be of much help since they're not part of the same crowd...

by **mystichuntress** on Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:22 pm

And I forgot to mention:

you just said I can be manipulating when i want information, but I don't use people to achieve my goals----selective wording. Isn't your "goal" sometimes to get information? And it appears that you have a deep/dire need to know what the latest gossip is, to the point of manipulation of others to achieve. I would be willing to bet that if you were honest, there are other times you are willing to do this.......like find a key to get in someone's house, tell their mothers things, etc..

I don't have a dire need to know the latest gossip. I just like to keep on top of things so I know what's going on with my classmates. Honestly? The main reason is to find out what he's been doing. Since he doesn't talk to me anymore, that's the only way for me to find out - besides asking friends - which is why I manipulate the conversation to find out more. AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING - he does that too. He admitted to listening in on the latest gossip just to find out what I'm doing. And the reason he does that is to see if my behaviour has changed enough that it would be "safe" for him to be less cautious around me.
And I don't "tell their mothers things". Whenever I speak to her, it's either polite conversation or asking for any jobs to do. I only told his mother "things" once, and even then I had trouble speaking because it wasn't in my place to tell.

Truthfully, I'm no good at manipulating people. I can be good with words, especially in writing not so much in speaking. You want more examples of manipulation? I'll think about that if you ask and I'll tell you. Should I be extremely detailed?
And that was not sarcasm and I was not mocking you.

by **CeciliaMystic** on Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:23 am

Whoa...what a debate!.

lol Anyways...

Guardian7347 wrote:He's a teen boy with raging hormones. He's also on the hunt. He wants to keep you close as a back-up. You're a sure thing. He's clearly figured out that thing between his legs is good for more than just writing his name in the snow, and he's eager to use it.

What Guardian said is very true.If you don't read this and don't understand or think this is true?..Then life won't be a breeze.My sig says it all.Good luck.

by **cap1015** on Tue Jan 31, 2012 6:37 am

First I am/was trying to help you, I certainly didn't have to take the time to read and respond. Second i don't want you to take what I was saying as negative, I was trying to provide you insight that you may or may not have considered. Third, I'm just making suggestions and observations, you are in the situtation and would be best to judge.

Finally I wish you well, and I hope that just in taking time to respond and maybe re-read your posts/answers you gained some insight to yourself and maybe some information that may have a positive affect on you going forward. It never hurts to look at ourselves from different viewpoints.

Good luck and I hope things are good for you.

by **VenusInChains** on Wed Feb 01, 2012 1:02 am

I have to agree with Guardian, this is a young guy with raging hormones. Yes he might have been a nicer guy before, but that's the thing with hormones while you are a teenager, they come in bursts until your body starts to cope with the levels. Just accept the fact he doesn't really care about you enough to control what he's doing and move on. Don't waste anymore time stressing over him, when you could do so much better.

by **mystichuntress** on Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:48 pm

cap1015 wrote:First I am/was trying to help you, I certainly didn't have to take the time to read and respond. Second i don't want you to take what I was saying as negative, I was trying to provide you insight that you may or may not have considered. Third, I'm just making suggestions and observations, you are in the situtation and would be best to judge.

Finally I wish you well, and I hope that just in taking time to respond and maybe re-read your posts/answers you gained some insight to yourself and maybe some information that may have a positive affect on you going forward. It never hurts to look at ourselves from different viewpoints.

Good luck and I hope things are good for you.

I know you're trying to help and I'm grateful for it.

by **mystichuntress** on Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:57 pm

I'm seeing the school counsellor now - against my will. Everyone happy? It's not very much help though. I'm bringing my friend along tomorrow.

And I have decided to make dolls to keep my mind occupied. Any tips?

by **Guardian7347** on Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:44 am

mystichuntress wrote:I'm seeing the school counsellor now - against my will. Everyone happy? It's not very much help though. I'm bringing my friend along tomorrow.

And I have decided to make dolls to keep my mind occupied. Any tips?

Why would anyone be happy that your situation has spiralled so far out of control that this level of intervention was required? Why do you refuse to see that there is an issue here in the first place? This mess is a creature of your own creating hon. YOU did this. No one else did it, the fault lies solely with you on this. I sincerely hope you shut the fuck up, listen to those trying to help you, and come away from this with nothing worse than a bruised ego. You're young, you've got plenty of time to adjust destructive behaviors into constructive ones and move on with your life. Good luck.