Soon to be ex.

[ReneeK]

I had this weird dream. First a little info. I'm divorcing from my H, my choice. He cheated on me in 05, married on 06, I thought it might change how I felt about him, it didn't. We lived as bad room mates till last year when he was arrested for Dom. Vio. He was mainly verbally abusive. I think it was his anger over what he had done, but he's in counseling now, and "seems" to be a changed person. More like the Man I fell in love with. Recent talks I said I would be interested in getting back together, he said he would keep an open mind, to much distance etc...which I agree with. I know he had a girl friend that is 6 years older then we are, but was told that was over, even though he lives right next door to her. Dream part. My Daughter had just left and we were hanging out in a hotel room. I was in bed with another man, and he didn't know it. He was alone in the bed next door. I had mixed feeling if I cared if he saw me in bed with someone else. I moved so the man was on the other side of me and not so visible. I heard noise in the bathroom, the door was open. I saw that he, my H, was taking a shower with another Woman. I saw me looking and just kept staring at me expressionless. I urged my friend that we should go get something to eat. We went to a little coffee shop, but the tables were so crowded and uncomfortable.
I really do still love him, and even though I was the one to file. I wish I had counseling instead, and gotten over his one time affair.
Any thought anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated.
I'm thinking of counseling. I want to get past this constant pain.
Thanks for looking
R.