Husband leaving

[samjinx]

I have been having a recurring dream about my husband of 20 years. The dream always takes place though in high school (that is when we started dating). He is staying away from me as if we are broken up. Moments of the dream go back and forth between the now and then. In my mind we are married and I can't understand why he has left me and he is now living with his parents just like when we were young. He doesn't seem concerned at all in the dream, as if he doesn't love me anymore. Each dream is a different scenario but the main idea is the same.

[jmnk]

I think I have had a smiliar dream if I am reading your post and understanding it correctly. Mine is re-occuring.

I basically dream that I am living back home and having a normal every day life and then all of a sudden, I remember my Husband.

I dont know what happened or why we are no longer together.

It's almost as if he is a faint memory that came out of the back of my mind.

I just feel this overwhelming feeling of sadness and a memory of him.

Then I call him and it's this strange feeling like we hadnt talked in forever. Sometimes when I call him he has moved on and others he doesnt answer.

Either way, it is always a very disturbing dream and really effects me. I love my Husband very much and would not know what to do with myself if ever anythign happened to him or us.

When I was in grade school i use to have this re-occuring dream about a bf. I was always running and trying to get to his house on foot. I could never reach him in my my dreams. BUT, when we broke up in ral life ..... it was then that in my dreams I reached his house only he wasnt there. How weird??

I have had a LOT of death in my family.

So, when I explained my dreams to my Husband he said not to worry that he wasnt going anywhere, nothing was going to happen to him and that he wasnt going to die.

It was then thati realized that I had never thought about that. I always thought that in my dreams we split up. I never looked at it from a loss of life stand point. Either way, it is a terrible dream and I hope they stop.

[samjinx]

Amazing! Your dream sounds very similar to mine. You put into words things that I could not. I have spoken to my husband and he keeps saying "Its just a dream", but the fact that I keep having them seems significant. He started working a new shift at work and I am concerned that these dreams might be some underlying issue that I have with that. The dreams are truly upsetting and emotionally draining, I rarely wake rested anymore. I dream this dream even when I nap, so alot of good napping does me.

[jmnk]

Yea, I would love someone to analyze that.

It's a sucky dream.

I dont have it nearly as much as you do it sounds like.

I did talk to my counselor about it. She thought the same thing, that it was coming from a loss of life stand point.

Sounds like you might be having anxieties about his new shift and not being there. Do you work during the day while he is home

[dreamweaver123]

I think a husband can take a wife for granted, especially if you've been together a long time. He gets used to you making dinner and taking care of the kids and isn't so demonstrative with his love. I have a friend who is a housewife with kids and she gets lonely and my heart goes out to her. I'm single, but I can see how hard it is to be a doting mother and a wife.
From an early age, men too learn not to express love and feelings to avoid punishment from their peers, because a guy's supposed to act that a macho tough guy and bring home the bacon. I think it's hard for a man sometimes to show his love for his wife because it's seen as gay or sissy like to express emotions. He leaves you in the lurch because he's having a hard time being there for you emotionally. I doubt he'll divorce you, but the message shows that he's having a hard time doing it all (maybe he's stressed out or ignoring you and not around because of a new job and you feel abandoned).
I like that song "Try a little tenderness" because I think sometimes men need to know that women need care and tenderness sometimes. It's so hard to be a homemaker, especially if you married young and didn't get to go out and party like some young people do in their 20s. It's really tough to be a single mom too, to do it all, but mommies always seem to come through. I can appreciate that you've sacrificed a great deal to make this relationship work. Have a heart to heart talk with him and see if you two can take time out to have a "date night", to rekindle the passion and for you to feel valued for all the beautiful things you do for the marriage and the world in general.

[samjinx]

I do work during the day, straight days M-F. My husband used to also, but now he works a 12 hour swing shift. Some days, some midnights, and now 2 weekends a month. It really does work for our family, but I guess I have taken for granted having him there all the time. Last night was the first time in weeks that I have not had this dream. Hopefully this means they are long gone.

[dreamweaver123]

He loves you. His emotional distance is because of his childhood and isn't your fault. It's so hard for both of you, working and trying to make ends meet. God bless you both, and maybe you could let him know that you need romance once in awhile. Ask him to buy you roses or flowers and that will cheer you up a lot. Perhaps you two may plan a Second Honeymoon.

[Southerngirl]

In early & mid-2008 I had a number of dreams like the one about still being in highschool, but NOT being together anymore with my husband. These dreams were followed by a more cruel dream where my husband and his "girlfriend" were talking about me and laughing about me. The dreams troubled me greatly and I would awake, sometimes crying, but always heart racing and feeling upset. I even mentioned that one to him because I was so upset.
After 23 years of marriage, one day in August 2008 my husband received a cell call while we were in the car, I teasingly asked him if he had a girlfriend---- and he looked at me and said "Yes. I can't lie to you. I do have a girlfriend."
The drama that followed doesn't matter, but I have continued to be fascinated by the fact that my "bad dreams" came true.
She had begun working where he did in March 2008.

On NO conscious level whatsoever did I have any idea or suspicion anything was going on.
We'd been dealing with a very depressing situationof my father-in-law deteriorating (& dying) from Alzheimers & Parkinson's.

Do dreams signal a subconscious knowledge or are they premonitions? Maybe they are just about deep seeded fears and insecurities. No matter where they come from, you'd better believe I get a really creepy feeling now every time I have a disturbing dream!

[samjinx]

OMG, I am so sorry to hear this. I guess this is what my concerns were with having a dream like this. Things are better, I have not had this dream for about a week now, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. It is amazing though how our subconscious can tell us that things are not right even before we realize it.