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I'm so scared by my brain

What dream horrors are haunting you in your sleep? Do you wake up sweating, screaming, or heart pounding? Share and cope with your own disturbing nightmares here.

I'm so scared by my brain

Postby Hektik » Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:31 am

Hello. This is my first time posting here, so please be kind when I make any mistakes. Im just writing this now because Im extremly scared by a dream Ive had last night.
Real life Characters in the main part of the dream:
My dad (kind and loving guy, can be aggressive but hast never ever hurt me)
A Girl (I dont know if I love her, we have made out a few times and I would like to have sex with her, and she does too, but the opportunity just wasnt quiete there yet)
A friend of me and girl (normally cool dude, found out he flirted with girl the day before)

So the dream is as follows: my dad calls and tells me he has killed a person and needs to hide a body, I can see him walking through the deepest night and a heavy storm carrying a body bag. The scene cuts and girl, guy and me are in a room. We talk about the phone call, but nothing serious, just like it would have been something casual. Girl is laying on her back on a bed, the room is small and there is a windowsm infront of the bed, its bright day outside. I tell guy to lay ontop of girl, belly down, which he does. Hes very lightheartedly and friendly asking why to which I do not answer. After that Im thinking that there must be a rope here somewhere, which I then suddenly find on the bed (or it appears, idk). I tie the feet and arms of the two together, guy is concerned but doesnt do anything about it, girl has a strange slow, monotone and emotionless voice. She has never talked tgat way. It sounded like a drunk person saying something really quiet, talking slow so he doesnt mess up the words, but without the slurring. I then take off their pants, and mine too. I suddenly realize that girl has a giant huge blue swelling on her neck, like abnormaly huge. Its filling up her whole neck. I do not concerne about it and continue. Suddenly a person dressed like a doctor but in their teens rushes in, pushes me to the ground where I stay sitting and begings touching and pressing on swelling. It continues to grow at a high rate and he pushes really hard. I can hear the sound of bones breaking, girl now says in the voice described before that it does hurt and askes what the guybis doing. The swealling busts, leaving broken, thin bird like bones everywhere, the girl dead, and a bunch of blue liquid arround the bed.
I dont even fucking know where to begin with this dream. I am so scared of my own mind. I have no homosexual feelings, my dad would never kill a person and certainly would call me, the scene where he walked through the storm looked like out of a movie, I could never hurt this girl since i have deep feelings for her and certainly wouldnt rape her. I have never seen this swelling or anything resembeling it anywhere, and I cant remeber hearing a voice as creepy and emotionless as this. I dont know who the doctor was or why there were bones everywhere or why I wanted to rape the two. I have been murdered or hunted multiple times in dreams, but I have never ever been the aggresor, and espacily not against friends and loved ones. Wtf is wrong with me? Open for interpretations.
Hektik
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Re: I'm so scared by my brain

Postby ияод » Mon Apr 23, 2018 9:13 am

First off, dreams are not chronological, which is evident in your case. It begins with the resolution, after which the scenario is experienced in detail. A severe transgression of thought has occurred (symbolized by murder, violent death, etc.) and you are rationalizing this reaction by allowing the internalized moral authority (father) be the one to banish this fantasy (bury the body). Your sexual desires toward the girl are first projected through an intermediary (the guy), indicating performance anxiety and limited agency. Tying her up, hearing her distorted voice as well as seeing the doctor/healer "finish her off" by bursting the swelling (sex as masturbation) all combine to form a condensation of various sexual anxieties.

In short, sex is scary and confusing. That's why you should talk to her--without intermediaries.
Dorn
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Re: I'm so scared by my brain

Postby Hektik » Mon Apr 23, 2018 12:24 pm

Thank you very much for the quick and indeed very usefull reply. I've showed it to a friend of mine as she agrees with me that your answer is an amazing take on what could have happend in my subconscious mind. But for what I am really thankful is that you have shifted my perception of the dream as an direct display of surpressed Fantasys and thoughts/feelings to a more logical, less frighting approach, helping me being less concerned about my mental health and not being frightend to dream again. Thx very much :)
Hektik
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