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Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, lengthy)

What dream horrors are haunting you in your sleep? Do you wake up sweating, screaming, or heart pounding? Share and cope with your own disturbing nightmares here.

Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, lengthy)

Postby Anezka » Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:42 am

I think this nightmare suggests I have some serious physiological issues (I know I do), but I need more help.

I woke up lying on an unfamiliar beach, the sea washing towards me :? . Usually, I'm in the same town in all my dreams, but this time I looked around and had no idea where I was. I walked towards the nearest building and found that it was a strange type of church (like a non-existent variant of whatever a Buddhist temple is called). It kind of scared me a little to look at it, so I went around it and found a graveyard and the rest of the city. There was no one in the graveyard (apart from the dead), but around the streets and these haunted house-looking buildings (like in Amusement Parks) were lots of men dressed in bad Grim Reaper costumes :infinity: , as if it was Halloween. A Grim Reaper watched me as I headed into the town and I asked him "What day is it" and he tried to give me a long, complicated answer, involving equinoxes. I got him to give me a simpler answer and he told me it was Thursday (the day I went to sleep). I went into this underground street and came across the most terrifying thing I sometimes see in my nightmares :worry: . It's this dark, wooden door that leads into a completely dark, also wooden, old-fashioned room with one table in the middle. The door always gives me the feeling of utter dread and fear. In one dream I actually went into the room and was scared like never before by this invisible monster that lives in the dark, trying to take me. I hurried past it in this dream, because I remembered it, and went up to this young black man with blue eyes and a woman, both wearing headphones.

I asked them to help me because I was lost, but the black man didn't want to help and left me with the woman, who didn't really want to help me either. I thought it might be because I was ugly :( . Suddenly, this random brown-haired man butted in and asked "You have no idea where you are, do you?" and seemed to know me. I asked him if I was in someone else's body too, maybe that was why I was ugly. But then I looked in a reflection and saw that I was just usual self. This upset me greatly because I didn't want to be ugly :crying: . I said "But why do I find myself attractive if others don't? I must be a narcissist". Then, this random blonde woman appeared and took us like we were a group and she was a tour guide. She seemed kind of strange and had this stereo with her. She put the stereo on, way too loud, playing Heavy Metal music :dj: :dummy" . and said it was broken but wouldn't turn it off, so I turned it off myself.

Then it got strange.

I said to the blonde woman "I know who you are! You're the Devil and I'm in Hell! Well, this torture isn't so bad, is this the best you can do?" and the blonde woman confessed to being Satan :evil: . She then morphed into a very handsome, blonde man instead :cabbagepatch: . He looked shocked and I think said something about me being unexpectedly strong. Satan or not, I wasn't afraid of him, but I was bored :bored: , so I walked off :creeping: .

This was when it got scary again.

A police car came down the street, and I had a feeling that it wasn't a real policeman, but a killer, possibly Satan's father (which would be...God? :shock: ) trying to trick me :? . I started running, leaving Satan confused in the dust :lol: , and the Police car pulled over. The dude dressed as a cop (who was an older man and NOT attarctive :hurl: ) told me to stop, threatening to shoot me, and I realized that I couldn't out run him down an empty street, so I cimbed over a very high wall with barbed wire at the top, which lead to an open, factory-looking place with lots of fences (with more barbed wire) ahead of me. The police killer jumped over the wall too, and chased me over more and more fences that I climbed at an inhuman speed. I was literally running for my life :heart: and have never been so scared in a chase dream before.

I came up to the final fence, running out of energy, and I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to climb it. So, I stopped, turned around, and kicked the killer in the nuts. Distracted by that, I quickly punched him in the face a few times, and grabbed his gun, which turned into a knife :? . I slashed his throat and jumped on top of him, stabbing him over and over again, before waking up startled.
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Re: Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, leng

Postby briandb » Fri Mar 02, 2018 5:59 pm

Hi! Thanks for sharing. Here’s my interpretation. Feel free to reinterpret, add, subtract, whatever. :)

You are reminding yourself of your strength in apparently nightmarish situations. We see themes of costumes, facades, empowerment, facing fears, and death, among others.

You awaken on the shore of an unknown land and see a strange church with a graveyard. It sends a message that you will be learning different perspectives on death, or that an interesting world-view is around the corner. Then you see the guys in Death costumes and haunted houses, which are both things that aren’t really scary but put on scary exteriors. The overly technical explanation of the current day could be another costume - you’re searching for what’s human inside all of the extraneous technical craziness.

You go underground and find the door and the room. This is very similar to how haunted houses work – I think you’re juxtaposing the two for a reason. The wood, the table, and the old-fashioned-ness are all serving as facades that help you revisit buried pain/torture/fear. The monster in the dark is a symbol of your fear. It’s what you have to face in order to be at peace in this room once again. I believe learning more about this room is very important to your life journey, which is why it is recurring. We’ll walk past it for now – maybe there are more clues outside.

You ask the strangers for help, but each is listening to their own music and is not interested. The part about possibly being ugly or a narcissist is another way to remind yourself that you also wear costumes. Others, listening to their own music, will see you through their own eyes. You can also see yourself differently depending on the situation. You may be wanting to find what is human underneath the masks of attractiveness, ethnicity, gender, etc.

Then our tour guide appears, ready to assist the lost in her own unique way. Heavy metal blasting. She says she can’t turn it off, but you know you can, so you take the matter into your own hands. You are showing yourself that you have the power over the music – ways to color your world – and that you can actually turn it off when it doesn’t sound right for you. We often go through our lives believing we don’t have the power to change the music or turn it off, when we are actually the ones holding our own stereos.

You then recognize Satan and Hell. She takes the form of the handsome man that we commonly associate with the angel Lucifer – “the light bringer”- a sign that wisdom abounds. He again reminds you of your own strength. You walk off unafraid. Hell and Satan aren’t that scary after all, sort of like it’s just a haunted house.

A powerful man comes in another costume. He is Satan’s father – since you are now unafraid of Satan, maybe you are afraid of his dad. He is also God - the one who works in mysterious ways. The law is just a costume. You run for your life. Eventually you can’t run any more and turn around to face the chaser. You kill him violently. Here, you remind yourself again of your own strength, and that you don't have to run. But it’s quite a silly end for Satan’s dad or God, almost like a joke.

So, you’ve faced Death, your fears, your reflection, Satan, and a guy that probably just wanted your number :). You’ve indicated to yourself that these are just big shows, and you don’t have to keep the heavy metal headphones on if you don’t want.

Rad dream, cheers!
Brian

Also, tour guide person may be a spirit guide to you of some sort. She might enjoy being there for you in different ways. Just a thought, see if that feels right to you.
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Re: Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, leng

Postby Anezka » Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:35 pm

Wow, thanks so much for your help, it means a lot to me! It's interesting that you suggest the tour guide could be a spirit guide of some sort, because the same blonde man, sometimes woman, pops up in my dreams frequently, playing different roles, sometimes to save me, sometimes to scare me, or just random stuff.
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Re: Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, leng

Postby Sheena » Sat Mar 03, 2018 5:03 pm

Has there been rape in the dreamer's experience? Bc that is what you do to the other at the end of that dream, using his own phallus symbolically for the job: gun ---> more phallic knife ----> aggressive insertion by 'stabbbing'. Cut throat = unspeakable.
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Re: Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, leng

Postby Still Burning » Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:29 pm

This is a very interesting dream! I'm afraid I don't have anything to add, but I have to say that I love the way you wrote it out.
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Re: Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, leng

Postby Anezka » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:28 am

Thanks, Still Burning! I write fiction as a hobby :) .
Sheena, I was thinking the same thing, but no sexual assault (or sexual anything in my life :bored: ), just Daddy Issues (father has yet to tell me he loves his own daughter, neglect etc.), maybe that could have something to do with it?
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Re: Worst Nightmare: Even God wants me dead(Reocurring, leng

Postby Sheena » Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:54 am

What zk describes is female castration. The girl's sense of something essential missing or lost. Mother minimizes, tells her to erase all negative feelings - all feelings - that she will recover what is due her later in life, if she toes the line. Girl continues thru life erasing self which builds rage on top of the need to revenge the loss. Having submitted to social injunctions about being female she enacts this rage-revenge thoughtlessly thru sex.
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