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Violently waking up

What dream horrors are haunting you in your sleep? Do you wake up sweating, screaming, or heart pounding? Share and cope with your own disturbing nightmares here.

Violently waking up

Postby deywosnosleykwt » Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:58 am

Last night I had a fairly regular dream which I don't remember all too well apart from the last few seconds, at which point it became a nightmare. For context, my dream had something to do with children; I think I was caring for them, and I think I had at least one biological child. I don't really remember what happened for most of it, but towards the end my son (I think he was a boy) asked me something, or drew my attention in some way that I don't remember. It had to do with this photo that I had only just noticed, but not actually looked at. My dream-son mentioned something about the photo being of the parent (dad?) of one of his friends, who apparently was not allowed to do very much. Then I looked at the photo, and that's where the entire thing went wrong. In what felt like only 5 seconds, I looked at the photo and woke up terrified.
I'll try and explain it, but I don't really know how.
The photo was of what I believe was a man. It was just his lower half, which was naked, and he was lying on his front, so I couldn't see his face (don't ask me how my son knew it was his friend's dad). It looked like it was an artistic kind of shot, with a blue tint, but it was distorted in some way, I'm not sure how to explain it. The moment I looked at the photo, I was struck with a really primal kind of horror. It felt like when you watch a horror movie, and the protagonist(s) discover(s) the thing(s) that set the horrible events of the movie in action, except it was overwhelming and vivid.
I instantly knew something was wrong, but I have no way of explaining what was wrong. In the same moment as this horror struck me, my surroundings began to become violently distorted, except it wasn't really visual. I heard this foreboding, distorted, low frequency kind of noise, except it was in my head rather than in my ears, and it was so loud. It was painful, and I think I started screaming in my dream. It kept getting louder and more powerful, and I felt like I was being manipulated in some way. I really don't know how else to describe this, words don't really come close to what it was. All I know is that it was absolutely terrifying, and every cell of my body was screaming that it was dangerous and to be avoided at all costs. Everything had disappeared, and all I remember thinking was that I needed to get away in any way possible, urgently. I might have had some consciousness that I was dreaming by that point, because I started purposely making this kind of whimpering sound, similar to the sounds a dog makes when they dream. I think I was trying to scream out loud. I remember a feeling of not being able to breathe, and I don't know if that was real or part of the dream. I kept whimpering, trying to escape - from the noise or the dream, I'm not sure - and I woke up.
I woke up still making that whimpering noise, so that part at least was real. I was shaking violently, and felt scared for my life, the primal horror I felt was still there. It was about 2 o'clock in the morning by that point, I must have gone to sleep around 2 hours earlier (I'm not entirely sure though). It took me a good few minutes to stop shaking; granted, it was a cold night, so that probably didn't help all that much. I stayed awake despite being exhausted; my mouth was dry but I dared not get up for water. I couldn't stomach going back to sleep; what I had experienced had terrified me so much that I was perfectly willing to stay up until sunrise. Every movement I could hear or see out the window frightened me; now I would guess that the sounds were my dogs a few rooms away, and that the movements I could see were the shadows of passing cars and cats outside. Eventually I must have fallen asleep, although I never decided to; I think I was just that tired.
I don't know how to explain this, because it didn't feel like a regular nightmare. The fear I felt was too real. I genuinely thought, even after waking up, that my life was in danger; I refused to go to sleep for precisely the same reason. When I was lying awake shaking, I tried to rationalise it, but my fear-stricken brain came up with only 3 reasons, all of which are fairly implausible;
1) It was something supernatural, like a ghost that I had met in my dream;
2) Some unnatural external force (like aliens, or technology) had meddled with me, causing that violent reaction (there was obviously no one in my room, as far as I was aware, and I would have been aware);
3) It was some deeply repressed memory. I say deeply because, as far as I am aware, I have never experienced anything remotely traumatic in my life, and I honestly doubt this one even more than the previous two, because I'm sure if I had been traumatized when I was young it would have manifested itself some other way by now.
Another explanation that I came up with after waking up in the morning is that it was something to do with my mental health. I do suffer some issues with this, but I have never been properly diagnosed with anything so I don't know what you would call it, or how serious it is.
To be honest, I just want to find a way to ensure this never happens again, whatever the cause of this was. It is the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced in my life, and I'd like it to never happen again. What do you all think?
Edit: It might be relevant that I smoked a cigarette a couple of hours before I went to sleep. It was just tobacco, and I smoke quite regularly so it didn't effect me that much.
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Re: Violently waking up

Postby Sheena » Sun Feb 04, 2018 3:07 pm

deywosnosleykwt wrote:it didn't effect me that much.
If it does not affect, why mention it? This is delusion of an addict; denial.
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