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Killed my pet cat...

What dream horrors are haunting you in your sleep? Do you wake up sweating, screaming, or heart pounding? Share and cope with your own disturbing nightmares here.

Killed my pet cat...

Postby m1chal1k » Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:07 pm

(I've recently quit smoking pot after 10+ years of daily, heavy consumption and just began recalling dreams again. It was on night 8 of no smoking I had my first dream in years but it was a terrible nightmare)

I have 2 healthy, happy cats which I love so much but only dreamt of the 1, kira.

I was in my house that is not mine in reality but in my dream it was. I made the choice to euthanize her myself for some reason, she was going to die/suffer eventually but the affliction was not immediate, more of a pre-emptive choice. I did this with a knife or some physical way by my own hand. I soon realized that I was not successful and she was laying there badly hurt, bleeding, and in pain. I retrieved a soft plush cat toy and put it by her head and she began to suckle on it (she suckles regularly on our soft blankets).
It was then a feeling of INTENSE terror, guilt and regret swept over me. I was pacing around the room, shaking and yelling to myself "NOOOO, WHY DID I DO THIS!? I DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL HER! SHE WAS FINE! OH MY GOD..."
I woke up with my fists clenched and arms tight around 3am in a sweat, completely shook.. I got up to find kira to make sure it was a dream. I hugged and kissed her.
Its hard to make sense of this. I wonder if it was so intense because my rem sleep hasn't been "normal" for such a long time or if there is a deeper meaning.
Last edited by m1chal1k on Tue Jan 09, 2018 8:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Killed my pet cat...

Postby Sheena » Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:32 am

Remorse and fear of an addict in withdrawal.
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Re: Killed my pet cat...

Postby m1chal1k » Tue Jan 09, 2018 8:46 am

Sheena wrote:Remorse and fear of an addict in withdrawal.


Very astute, I looked up "regret" and you may be spot on. I've been telling myself, my partner, and my friends that it hasn't been too bad at all quitting. Maybe the 1st day was a bit rough but I've felt positive about stopping since then. Perhaps my subconscious is having a harder time letting than I thought. Thanks!
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Re: Killed my pet cat...

Postby Sheena » Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:25 pm

Do 12 step. Express the remorse.
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Re: Killed my pet cat...

Postby m1chal1k » Sat Jan 20, 2018 11:10 am

I appreciate your advice but I don't need the 12 step program. I made the choice myself to quit. I am past 3 weeks of not smoking. I feel great and don't have any urge of wanting to "relapse" even though i am still pro marijuana and dont drink alcohol. Haven't had any nightmares/dreams of that intensity ever since. Ive researched that quitting weed after long term use causes intense and vivid dreams for 1-2 weeks due to the drug interrupting REM sleep and the brain trying to "catch up", it's very interesting.
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Re: Killed my pet cat...

Postby Sheena » Sat Jan 20, 2018 1:14 pm

Then why didn't you start with that. The addict hungers for more of Nothing.
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