dying, and vicious detailed murder...

[katlyynhope]

Ok, so..
Life story,
I'm seventeen, I dated this guy that was 19 for almost a year, and was in a very controlling relationship..
He tried to commit suicide several times in front of me, and even blamed me for his attempts, because of my "cheating, and dishonesty."
The whole year with this guy, i never once cheated on him. Maybe a few little lies here and there, but nothing major..
I only lied because he was really controlling and it got to the point i wasn't allowed to even hang out with my friends that were girls.. Not even my best friend.
I had to hang out with him 24/7, and even when i was at work, he'd accuse me of cheating with my coworkers.
He got me to do drugs, such as dmt, ecstasy and much more.
One night when we were doing ecstasy, we decided to have sex, & he thought if we had a kid, id have to stay with him forever..
I was stupid, and a month or so later, i noticed my period was late.. Not thinking it was a big deal, i took a pregnancy test anyway, and it came out positive.
we decided to keep the baby, and he made it seem like everything would be perfect, until 3 months into my pregnancy, he came over to my house, and had some random accusation of me cheating again, because i "looked too pretty" that day... He threw me against the wall, and started slitting his wrists in front of me, i tried to pull the knife away and couldn't.
He grabbed me by my face and threw me against the wall, and then on the floor.
He was bakeracted, and called me from the hospital, saying he wanted nothing to do with me, my family, or THAT baby..
The next morning i woke up, and realized i had had a miscarriage...

Ever since, I have really crazy dreams... I wake up crying, screaming..
Its understandable with what Ive been through, but sometimes its extremely crazy, and very scary...


Dream:
I was still pregnant, and i was going to find out the sex of my baby. My doctor came in, and it was just me and the doctor in the room. He gave me an IV, and pushed something into it, and told me it was to see the baby better, although i had no idea what it really was. I started to become very lightheaded, and he said it was fine, it was just the medicine relaxing me, so the baby wouldn't move as much.. A few minutes later, i noticed everything starting to go black, and i said that i didn't feel good. About fifteen minutes later, i opened my eyes, and noticed my arms were strapped down, and there were two nurses holding my legs, and the doctor was between my legs... He started taking multiple instruments, and started thrusting them inside of me, hurting me, hurting my baby.. I was screaming, and he just kept going.. Blood was everywhere, i could see it all over his arms, and blankets... The nurses weren't watching him do it, they were looking the other way, and i begged them to stop.. But they wouldn't... He just kept going... Hurting me, screaming at the top of my lungs, crying... he finally stopped, and said, "congratulations, your having a little girl." He had my bloody, murdered baby in his hands, and layed it on my stomach area... I couldn't touch my baby girl, and i could barely stand to look at her devoured body, from what he had done... the nurses left the room, leaving my arms still tied down.. He picked my baby up off of me, and said, " Pieces of shit like you, aren't meant to have babies." And threw what was left of my baby, right into the trash can... I then woke up, Screaming at the top of my lungs, and tears all over my face.. The most detailed, and scariest dream ive ever had in my life, and the thoughts of it still haunt me when i'm awake... I've had this dream more than once, and it horrifys me...

What should i do...?

I've had many dreams in the last month, that end in my death, and i wake up screaming, and crying, quite often...
My family doesn't know what to do, i see a therapist...
I seem like i'm doing alot better, until it's time to go to bed...
I barely sleep, because i'm scared of my dreams..

Opinions? Help? Comments?