Murderer in the School

[michrph]

Last night, I had the following dream. I was a student in a school with other adults. The school had 24 floors. Originally, I and a group of students were on an upper floor. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a dark figure (labelled murderer) came in and randomly shot and killed a random student (unknown to me). My group ran downstairs to get away, and then there were reports of the murderer killing random people on various floors. We were on the 5th floor, and we heard the murderer had been on the 4th and 6th floors, so we ran into the elevator to go back to the top. We just managed to make it in and get away, and the murderer appeared and killed someone on the 5th floor. The group went to the 24th floor where there was a computer center. We were looking at the reported floors where people had been killed and we were trying to determine if there was a pattern or if the acts were completely random. (My impression was that they were random.) Some of the people in my student group were people I had attended a life changing personal seminar with, but who I have not spoken to for years.

I have a dream book and have determined that I am supposed to be learning about myself through this dream through different levels of consciousness (school, elevator, people I had attended the seminar with), and that a gun can symbolize anger (which I have a lot of right now from a boyfriend who recently broke up with me). I don't know who the murderer is or what she (I have that sense as well.) is trying to destroy. I don't know why the word random is so prominent. I am angry with my ex because he waited until after my niece's Bat Mitzvah to tell me that there was a problem (which he knew weeks beforehand) and what it was and that he did not stop me from coming to see him Memorial Day Weekend when he really did not want me there, but did not tell me at the time. He was honest with me that he felt there was a lack of verbal and emotional intimacy between us, part of which I am certain is due to my Aspberger's Syndrome, which I was upfront and honest about from the very beginning. Part is also due to a 30 minute silence between us in the car late April, which he was clearly uncomfortable with. I am also angry that he was sending all these really "nice" texts asking if I wanted to chat or be friends with him after we broke up, and I was able to nicely text him back that he was making me angry and please not to contact me further. If I want to contact him in the future, that will be my choice. I have not received any of these angering trigger texts since, but I still harbor a lot of anger. I am journaling to try to get that out, and I think it is helping some, but not as much as I might like.

Can someone please help me put together the missing pieces of this dream so I know what to do with it?

Thanks!

-Michelle

[Fikakatten]

Last night, I had the following dream. I was a student in a school with other adults. The school had 24 floors. Originally, I and a group of students were on an upper floor. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a dark figure (labelled murderer) came in and randomly shot and killed a random student (unknown to me). My group ran downstairs to get away, and then there were reports of the murderer killing random people on various floors. We were on the 5th floor, and we heard the murderer had been on the 4th and 6th floors, so we ran into the elevator to go back to the top. We just managed to make it in and get away, and the murderer appeared and killed someone on the 5th floor. The group went to the 24th floor where there was a computer center. We were looking at the reported floors where people had been killed and we were trying to determine if there was a pattern or if the acts were completely random. (My impression was that they were random.) Some of the people in my student group were people I had attended a life changing personal seminar with, but who I have not spoken to for years.

I have a dream book and have determined that I am supposed to be learning about myself through this dream through different levels of consciousness (school, elevator, people I had attended the seminar with), and that a gun can symbolize anger (which I have a lot of right now from a boyfriend who recently broke up with me). I don't know who the murderer is or what she (I have that sense as well.) is trying to destroy. I don't know why the word random is so prominent. I am angry with my ex because he waited until after my niece's Bat Mitzvah to tell me that there was a problem (which he knew weeks beforehand) and what it was and that he did not stop me from coming to see him Memorial Day Weekend when he really did not want me there, but did not tell me at the time. He was honest with me that he felt there was a lack of verbal and emotional intimacy between us, part of which I am certain is due to my Aspberger's Syndrome, which I was upfront and honest about from the very beginning. Part is also due to a 30 minute silence between us in the car late April, which he was clearly uncomfortable with. I am also angry that he was sending all these really "nice" texts asking if I wanted to chat or be friends with him after we broke up, and I was able to nicely text him back that he was making me angry and please not to contact me further. If I want to contact him in the future, that will be my choice. I have not received any of these angering trigger texts since, but I still harbor a lot of anger. I am journaling to try to get that out, and I think it is helping some, but not as much as I might like.

Can someone please help me put together the missing pieces of this dream so I know what to do with it?

Thanks!

-Michelle

Heya random guy here.
These are just my thoughts about your dream and overall situation.
You don't have to take it seriously, just my input.

Let me just start by saying that my brother have asperger and it can be, honestly though to deal with especially if one of us is mad for some reason.
If i understand correctly, one has hard to read oneself and others feelings. This is a problem. Ex. I have to actually TELL my brother that I'm pissed at him (for whatever reason), which in my eyes is a retarded thing to do, but I have to, to make him understand.
Before I fully grasped (I actually haven't yet...) the whole Asperger situation I thought he was messing with me which would make me pissed off, kind of like acting like he didn't know what I was talking about.
That is my main problem with my brother. He can't read body language. He can sense it but not fully understand it.
But if we're having a nice discussion and conversation it's all good for the most part really!
This was a bit about the aspberger from what I know about it, how it affects me...

Your dream
I'm saying that your ex might have (had) issues with you. How deep? Oh they can be very deep.
Grasping the asperger is NOT easy trust me, I merely understand it.
From times I still think my brother mess with me, but hey, I accept and love him (I am forgiving also) anyway and I know he has it... at least lesser symptom.

Oh... the tension that you two had... something was clearly wrong, maybe he was upset for you not acknowledging his feelings and so he cool off and so will you... it's really sad how the asp might cause this problem.
As I said earlier ... the Dream you had, "warning signal" ... your EX is mad at you for not understanding him or you him.
Your mind wants to let you understand... that things were unsaid, probably misunderstood... he probably misunderstood you.
By you not showing emotions or even communicating... I think that can be very harsh on him, on the most of us.

I wish you best of happiness, do what you feel like! only that matters and make people understand you.

[michrph]

Fikakatten,

Are you saying the murderer was my ex? That he was angry with me or the Aspberger's Syndrome and he did not know what to destroy, therefore killing random people (parts of me/behaviours) in my dream? That's an interesting thought. He certainly made a decision at some point that not only did he not understand my Asperger's Syndrome, but that he did not want to try to understand it or to participate in any way to help resolve the problem. I had made the suggestion that he might want to see my doctor the next time he came in to help him understand better, and he blew the suggestion off. I had written him some wonderfully connecting e-mails to bridge the long distance relationship (literally). They explored both his and my feelings about things and he loved them. They attracted him to me. He could not get the same quality out of my conversations face to face. If I process things for a while, I will often realize how people feel about things after the fact and can react really well. But it is a delayed reaction. There probably were many things missing for him emotionally, in addition to the silence. As I look back, I could see how he could feel alone and empty at times with me. Some things I did probably embarrassed him too, like laughing too loud in front of his family. He knows I don't realize what is occurring, and I gave him some suggestions of real time ways to interact with me to make me stop or change a behavior. He refused to do it. I think he believes it is my beast alone to control, and not something to partner with. My time will be better spent with someone who wants to understand and be an active participant to help me.

I initially thought perhaps the murderer was a piece of me, trying to get rid of my anger, in random ways because I am having difficulty getting rid of it as I said earlier. Maybe it is a combination of both, and I am trying to understand both sides. Thanks for your feedback!

If anybody else has any thoughts, I am open to them.

Michelle

[Fikakatten]

Fikakatten,

Are you saying the murderer was my ex? That he was angry with me or the Aspberger's Syndrome and he did not know what to destroy, therefore killing random people (parts of me/behaviours) in my dream? That's an interesting thought. He certainly made a decision at some point that not only did he not understand my Asperger's Syndrome, but that he did not want to try to understand it or to participate in any way to help resolve the problem. I had made the suggestion that he might want to see my doctor the next time he came in to help him understand better, and he blew the suggestion off. I had written him some wonderfully connecting e-mails to bridge the long distance relationship (literally). They explored both his and my feelings about things and he loved them. They attracted him to me. He could not get the same quality out of my conversations face to face. If I process things for a while, I will often realize how people feel about things after the fact and can react really well. But it is a delayed reaction. There probably were many things missing for him emotionally, in addition to the silence. As I look back, I could see how he could feel alone and empty at times with me. Some things I did probably embarrassed him too, like laughing too loud in front of his family. He knows I don't realize what is occurring, and I gave him some suggestions of real time ways to interact with me to make me stop or change a behavior. He refused to do it. I think he believes it is my beast alone to control, and not something to partner with. My time will be better spent with someone who wants to understand and be an active participant to help me.

I initially thought perhaps the murderer was a piece of me, trying to get rid of my anger, in random ways because I am having difficulty getting rid of it as I said earlier. Maybe it is a combination of both, and I am trying to understand both sides. Thanks for your feedback!

If anybody else has any thoughts, I am open to them.

Michelle

Hey again.

I think in this dream, your mind wants you to know that both you and your ex are/were angry/felt hatred toward each other.
Maybe you did because you felt that he gave up on you too easily with the asp and overall.
Crazy things can happen in dreams, no reality, abstract things happen in the subconscious mind.
It was probably a dream to have outlet for mainly your but even maybe your ex's feelings (he probably never understood you correctly and therefore is angry).
Your mind probably wants you to know these things.
Also - someone mentioned too me aswell that if "murder" is involved in the dream, mentioned or performed... it can indicate depression (are you?) or a severe
dark time in a persons life. (I had my dream read by some guy, he figured it out for me, it was awesome, because I didn't understand it at all)
Doesn't mean it's true, but if it is, just be aware of it.

The mind usually tells us (in dreams) Things that we do not want to know about but exists and is actually real.
Like our life situation and by reading dreams it can help, as they say, to connect body, mind spirit and understand the life we have better.

About your ex, It's a shame he doesn't want to try more, but you must understand that it's very difficult when emotions and thoughts are unspoken of.
Most guys probably think they'll get off easy and have wonderful times without interruptions and that it's a blessing to have a GF, but sometimes it can be the other way around, one must help each other with the current problems in our lives to make it work in the long run.

Ones morale / disorder may cause trouble in relations.
He was probably not ready to face the facts about you, that you actually have the asp disorder.
The idea of bringing him to your Doc was a great idea, or just someone else that could explain your disorder, or for him to read it himself.
However as said earlier it can be tough grasping it, it's like saying someone you love (?) is "slow" emotionally and needs to be explained to at most times.

You might have painted a little bit too wonderful future for the two of you and then when you met at times it might have been more dull than expected for him, which made him give up easy aswell.

Anyway I hope you can resolve this, about your life :]
Don't be afraid to express your feelings, emotions and thoughts unless they are harmful of course :]
It's important more than ever for you to do so.
Bear hug to you ^^ , good day.