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Dream of my recently deceased son

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Dream of my recently deceased son

Postby Ernie's mom » Sat Nov 19, 2016 7:43 pm

Three days ago, just before waking up, I dreamt of my son exactly twenty-one weeks after his death. It was simple. I was walking down a hallway, all white. There were glass windows all along the hallway on the left, a long series of doors on the right. I passed a door that suddenly someone had appeared in front of, and I realized he had been walking toward me from the other direction, although I did not notice him until he was at the door, beginning to unlock it with a key. He was wearing Army fatigues, but no hat. He had rushed to the door to unlock it, but sensed me there. He turned around and saw me. It was my son. "Oh, Mam--..." he said. He always called me Mama, but he was so surprised and overwhelmed to see me that he couldn't completely get the word out. Although we have spent much time together since his death (I sit with him several times daily on a bench next to his grave), this was only the second dream, and the first one in which he spoke to me. It was as though it was our first face-to-face meeting since he died, and he rushed to hug me. It was a long hug, and very firm. I remember saying (to myself, or aloud, I don't know), "Be here be here be here really be here...." I was desperate for this to be real. Then the whole scene simply disappeared. I don't remember finishing the hug, saying goodbye, or anything. I simply woke up, crying.

What I am curious about: Why Army fatigues (another son of ours was in the Army, but not this one)? Why unlocking a door (he stopped and turned to me before opening it)? Why did it look exactly like all the other doors? Why white?
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Re: Dream of my recently deceased son

Postby Superman1 » Sun Nov 20, 2016 3:52 am

That hallway is interesting, that could almost be eternity.
Your view on the left perhaps of what can't be reality, and you can only enter the right or is reality.
His view is reversed, as death is the reverse of life, so you can't meet. You can only view him.

You have wanted to unlock the positive door so many times where you could see him again, but he turned around and saw you or stopped when he sensed you. This might explain the missing hat which is the thought area.
What did army mean to you? Away for long periods? Perhaps then you were worried about your other son?

Sadly, notice the word 'mam' is the formal word for ladies who are strangers. You couldn't completely get the thought out.
Perhaps sadder than death is forgetting. But I'm sure such things are temporary.
Yes, though you faithfully spend much time with him, without actual physical contact it's inevitable.
So this can be the significance of why he spoke to you unlike the first dream. His expression being ironically opposite.

Yet it must be the first time you have thought of him directly or face to face in this way, as you thought how much you firmly love him.
Yes, like in the hallway, you desperately wanted him with you.
Age twenty one is usually seen as a most special time of a man's life when he becomes a full adult. So I think that may be why 21 weeks, perhaps marking a different maturity or even a sort of milestone for you. Your thought of him was like a turning point of one final brave embrace, realization of what he meant to you, and holding on.

But maybe you woke up to that realization that he is now out of his mother's hands, moving on in a new sense with his new life.
And to how heartlessly wrong death is, that should be outlawed. Yet on the other side of that, I feel it's really not as bad as it seems.
And all this grief we can feel is so unnecessary, similar to if a loved one went on a sea voyage or moved to another country.
In other words, it's easy to see them as 'dead.' But you know that's impossible. Surely that was a moment, and greater life takes its place.
And those beyond are probably having more fun than we are, on this lowest level. Our loss is their gain.
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Re: Dream of my recently deceased son

Postby Ernie's mom » Sun Nov 20, 2016 7:26 pm

Thank you. There are some ideas there I had not considered, like the hallway representing eternity, and the doors reality/windows not reality. Still wondering about the all-white environment.

It was clear, however, that he recognized me, and immediately. He was saying "Oh, Mama" but his voice caught on the last syllable. He almost fell into me, and he held me for a long time. There was no question for me that it was something like, "I'm so sorry. I didn't choose this." I am not sure he was sad, exactly, because I agree that he is blissed out and learning so much. He's happy. But he was very sad for me. He was himself, very much himself, in mannerisms, empathy, love, warmth. The physical embrace was a hallmark of his family relationships and friendships. He loved people. He was absolutely himself. Whether he appeared this way to comfort me (with the familiarity) or because he still feels some form of attachment with us, I can't say. He has five siblings, and he has found a way to visit each one of them in some form or another, from dreams, to an overwhelming sense of his presence, to busting into a meditation session with a little playful ribbing. All of these events (visitations?) were completely in character, and powerful for the sibling experiencing it, just as this encounter with him was so powerful for me.

But you are correct that he is drifting off, and not as present as he was at the beginning. He was twenty-four, not twenty one. A young man on the verge of launching into his life. And in an unexpected way, launch it, he did.

Thank you so much for your insights. They were thoughtful and showed some familiarity with dream interpretation. I have never been so good at that. I can recognize things as symbolic and significant, but I am usually unable to decipher their meaning.
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Dream of my recently deceased son

Postby WesleyfuhPP » Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:11 pm

I dream a lot but I dont draw them---- I get names, faces, places but I cannot relate to them--?
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