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Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Need dating advice? Wanna talk about sex? Just broke up with your boyfriend? Complain about your ex? Jealousy ruining your relationship? Is he/she cheating? This is the forum to discuss and share your real life experiences.

Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Tal » Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:12 pm

I have to agree with speed on this one. Porn does destroy marriages and (mostly) men do become addicted to it.
My ex husband spent hours at night looking at online porn. Then he joined an amateur porn site and started fucking women that he met on there. After the shit hit the fan I had a look and there HUNDREDS of men already in relationships looking to hook up with women for sex. It ended our marriage and destroyed my both my trust and self esteem for a very long time.
I also have a problem with the portrayal of women as nothing more than a series of holes for guys to put their dicks in. It IS demeening and no amount of argument can justify it. If it's so 'normal' then why is it the majority of women refuse to take part in it? What are we, a bunch of drippy cunts whose soul purpose is to sexually gratify the fantasies of men? I don't think so.
I asked my ex why he needed so much graphic shit in his life and he couldn't answer me. Our sex life had been great and imaginative up until that point. After that I couldn't bear the thought of him touching me. Besides I'd already packed up his stuff and changed the locks by then. He's engaged to another woman now and he's still a member of that website and he's still cheating.
I don't look at porn. My imagination is plenty and if your in a relationship with someone who needs more than what you have to offer then there's a serious problem.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Wed Feb 24, 2010 10:35 am

Tal, :hugs: That's not nice at all,

Obviously there are some who take it to far but that's like anything. If your addicted to Porn just like any addiction it can be bad and ruin relationships

Some people smoke weed occasionally and enjoy it, Some people watch porn occasionally and enjoy it.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Tal » Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:34 pm

:hugs: Thanks Eglet.
Although, I have to admit, once all the dust settled I'm actually happier and more satisfied with life now than I ever was while I was married. I have a lot more independence and contentment now, so I should be grateful for porn in a way. But I do still see the damage it does in other relationships and it is very wide spread. One of the mums from the kids school recently ended her marriage because of it. She told hubby "it's me or the sluts" and he chose the sluts so she booted him out. Oddly enough she's much happier now too. :lol:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:13 am

I love my nickname :D

I am glad you're happier now, He sounds like an ass.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby stickmanjim007 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 11:02 am

I agree that relationships can be damaged beyond repair due to porn. I don't watch it, and don't need it to spice up my sex life when I'm in a relationship. However, the man I lived with, was engaged to, became addicted to it. At first I turned a blind eye, allowed him to watch the dvd's on his lap top while I slept, since he said it was only infrequently. Then it escalated, and I'd wake up to find him masturbating to the women he was watching. It got to the point where he didn't need to have sex with me, he would turn on one of those movies and just use me as a depository. If I didn't let him, I'd get hit.
We are no longer involved, but he does live downstairs from me. He has replaced his laptop with a built-in web cam one, so that he can watch online women, and join in from his side. The man that I really fell in love with,(not the same man) well, he wouldn't touch a nudie magazine or watch porn at all. Said he had no need for it, he had me. That I was the only woman that he needed to be with or look at, admire, worship my body. He felt disgusted that other married men or men in relationships felt the need to have porn when they had a loving woman. He always told me that never in his life did he desire porn, and that he'd only been to a strip club once, for a fellow Sailor's bachelor party and he didn't understand the attraction, that he found it belittling to the women and it held no attraction for him.
I guess...whatever makes your boat float...
Last edited by stickmanjim007 on Thu Feb 25, 2010 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 11:33 am

stickmanjim007 wrote:I agree that relationships can be damaged beyond repair due to porn. I don't watch it, and don't need it to spice up my sex life when I'm in a relationship. However, the man I lived with, was engaged to, became addicted to it. At first I turned a blind eye, allowed him to watch the dvd's on his lap top while I slept, since he said it was only infrequently. Then it escalated, and I'd wake up to find him masturbating to the women he was watching. It got to the point where he didn't to have sex with me, he would turn on one of those movies and just use me as a depository. If I didn't let him, I'd get hit.
We are no longer involved, but he does live downstairs from me. He has replaced his laptop with a builtin web cam one, so that he can watch online women, and join in from his side. The man that I really fell in love with, well, he wouldn't touch a nudie magazine or watch porn at all. Said he had no need for it, he had me. That I was the only woman that he needed to be with or look at, admire, worship my body. He felt disgusted that other married men or men in relationships felt the need to have porn when they had a loving woman. He always told me that never in his life did he desire porn, and that he'd only been to a strip club once, for a fellow Sailor's bachelor party and he didn't understand the attraction, that he found it belittling to the women and it held no attraction for him.
I guess...whatever makes your boat float...



Only one word can be used to compliment this post...EXACTLY.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:04 am

There is not a thing that humanity cannot corrupt. Nor is there anything that someone somewhere can become addicted to. I don't smoke but I do not berate those that do. Narcotics is a dangerous hobby that I refuse to partake in but I won't be upset is someone I know does it. Even overeating is wrong but the US is at about a 60% obesity rate right now. If it's not hurting anyone, to each his own. I am not a porn advocate but I know and have known too many people that have chosen dangerous hobbies; things that were a danger to themselves and others. Anyone addicted to anything should seek help. Anyone using anything to excess should practice moderation.

I also do not recommend harboring anger toward anyone for any reason. You should have a goal of happiness. Anyone who does not want that for you should be out of your life promptly. Life is better without such individuals.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:38 am

MysticMatriarch wrote:There is not a thing that humanity cannot corrupt. Nor is there anything that someone somewhere can become addicted to. I don't smoke but I do not berate those that do. Narcotics is a dangerous hobby that I refuse to partake in but I won't be upset is someone I know does it. Even overeating is wrong but the US is at about a 60% obesity rate right now. If it's not hurting anyone, to each his own. I am not a porn advocate but I know and have known too many people that have chosen dangerous hobbies; things that were a danger to themselves and others. Anyone addicted to anything should seek help. Anyone using anything to excess should practice moderation.

I also do not recommend harboring anger toward anyone for any reason. You should have a goal of happiness. Anyone who does not want that for you should be out of your life promptly. Life is better without such individuals.


Well said!
And here we are, the two of us in agreement :D (inside joke here) :blowingkisses:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:49 am

Nostalgic wrote:
MysticMatriarch wrote:There is not a thing that humanity cannot corrupt. Nor is there anything that someone somewhere can become addicted to. I don't smoke but I do not berate those that do. Narcotics is a dangerous hobby that I refuse to partake in but I won't be upset is someone I know does it. Even overeating is wrong but the US is at about a 60% obesity rate right now. If it's not hurting anyone, to each his own. I am not a porn advocate but I know and have known too many people that have chosen dangerous hobbies; things that were a danger to themselves and others. Anyone addicted to anything should seek help. Anyone using anything to excess should practice moderation.

I also do not recommend harboring anger toward anyone for any reason. You should have a goal of happiness. Anyone who does not want that for you should be out of your life promptly. Life is better without such individuals.


Well said!
And here we are, the two of us in agreement :D (inside joke here) :blowingkisses:


:rofl:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:02 pm

:D
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:44 am

needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail.


Exactly! I highly agree with you on that
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Wed Mar 03, 2010 4:39 pm

MysticMatriarch wrote:
needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail.


Is it? So you are saying you would be just as disappointed that if you found your boyfriend/husband with a woman as you would looking at a picture of a woman?

If I have a man that do those things, It would just means he's not satisfied me being his girl. Its annoying that a guy has to use excuses about a F#$% up peice of paper. Just making a point. I would understand if he's single.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Tera » Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:50 pm

I might ;)
If he let me. I think we would enjoy it together lol No harm in looking and enjoying the love making and such.
Not married though sooo yeah XD
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:31 pm

If I have a man that do those things, It would just means he's not satisfied me being his girl. Its annoying that a guy has to use excuses about a F#$% up peice of paper. Just making a point...


:clap:

Good post. That's in your own words too as a woman.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Damp Dreamer » Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:20 am

If thats what your into... definatly do it... share the experience... or get your children involved :baby:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby candi14 » Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:00 pm

Isn't that illegal? O_o
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:50 pm

endelbendel wrote:
Nostalgic wrote:Porn Hater
Never laid, no orgasms, no joy, paranoid hypervigilance.[/quote

not everybody need to use porn as to get an arouse. It's usually for old guys who can't get an erection...lol
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:55 pm

needFORspeed116 wrote:
If I have a man that do those things, It would just means he's not satisfied me being his girl. Its annoying that a guy has to use excuses about a F#$% up peice of paper. Just making a point...


:clap:

Good post. That's in your own words too as a woman.



Thank You :cabbagepatch:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby kerm1t » Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:23 pm

Hmm, some of the posters here seem to be suffering from acute religous fervour and lack of understanding of the male mind. ;)

Of course it can be taken too far but it's natural for men to want to look at sexy girls. And does ANYBODY here not masturbate from time to time? He/she who is without sin cast the first balled up tissue! :P

I used to keep a few dusty jazz magazines under my bed. One time my ex asked me if I had any porn and I showed them to her. It was incredibly erotic leafing through them with her and talking about what was happening on each page. Both of us ended up having a very, very fun night and no-one got hurt. :D 8-)

I think it only causes a problem when 1) The man is not paying enough attention to his lady because he's always spanking the monkey. 2) The lady isn't satisfying her man so he needs an outlet (more common than most girls think I'd imagine, it's not just a problem for women, and trust me, just because he comes doesn't mean it was good)

Or 3) It's making the lady feel insecure. Lets face it you girls would laugh at a man who felt threatened by your vibrator right? I've never asked a GF to get rid of hers (infact, I think they're pretty damn handy to have around :P ). I mean jeez, what do you want? Your man obsessing over you 24/7? Sounds rediculous doesn't it? (and would probably make most girls run a mile). Let me assure you for 99% of men porn is nowhere near a substitute for a real woman!

I did see one exception here to those three reasons, but that seems to delve into the realms of dysfunction and perhaps needs psycological help. Sorry to hear about that BTW stickmanjim, it sounds awful. :(

Massive post. But I felt what started out as a fun thread has been derailed and sidelined by flaming from people who apparently have some personal issues they want to share. May I suggest to those people they quit with the :fuming: here and start their own "I hate porn" thread, preferably in a different forum.

Ok, my forum warrior mission is complete. :rawr: Keep it on topic please folks. :D
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby aPrince4anMJlover » Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:34 pm

You shouldn't look at porn at all, what's the pleasure in "enjoying" something you can't have...


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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:36 pm

Is that just as bad as leafing through a magazine full of mansions? I don't have one of those.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby kerm1t » Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:57 pm

Wow I go away for a snack and look what happens, 2 posts in a very short time.

aPrince4anMJlover wrote:You shouldn't look at porn at all, what's the pleasure in "enjoying" something you can't have...


AP4MJ


Time to don my bandana again. :rawr: That's off topic. It's also completely and utterly wrong in every way. If everybody stopped fantasizing about things they couldn't have life would be incredibly and deeply dull. Antidepressant sales and suicide rates would go through the roof. Conversations would almost not be worth having. The great inventors of the past wouldn't have invented. Infact, if people didn't take pleasure in what they couldn't have we'd probably still be living in caves, trying to bash our own heads in with rocks. :rofl: I'm laughing at the bleak picture I just painted.

MysticMatriarch wrote:Is that just as bad as leafing through a magazine full of mansions? I don't have one of those.


:lol: Look at the archways on that! And a nice neatly trimmed hedge too! :P

:rawr: This thread isn't supposed to be about whether porn it's-self is right or wrong. If you feel strongly about it why not start your own thread? :rawr:

Aaargh :x I'm starting to sound like an advocate for porn now. I don't even really like or use it!
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby stickmanjim007 » Sun Mar 14, 2010 4:08 pm

Thanks Kerm1t. He is history, the second one, the one that didn't care for it, he helped build my self esteem back up a bit. :D

If your partner indulges in porn, it shouldn't be done secretively, so no question as to whether or not you should take a peek. If he or she is hiding it, then they already admit to some wrong doing to themselves, whether a moral issue or not. Question would be, if they weren't involved with you, would they still be squirreling it away, or would they leave it laying around in the open?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby bebyy » Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:04 pm

just sayin, im a firm believer that porn can ruin a relationship. i really should have realized but apparently my blondeness kicked in :whistling: my boyfriend and i were together a good 2 and a half years before he admitted to me he actually had an addiction not just a every now and then kinda thing. so ofcourse being a female, i start thing, omgah whats wrong with me, is it my body, my this or that bla bla bla im thinking hes not satisfied by me and he needed a little boost, if ya catch my drift. long story short it was the fact that for 2 and a half years of my life something that big was being hidden from me, and him doing it in my home...ughh anyways, we took a good little break to realize what the both of us wanted and few months later we did get back together, its been 4 and a half years now so im not saying porn is a good thing lol but sometimes it takes a falling out to be the closest youve ever been :D just felt like sharing lol
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Mon Mar 15, 2010 8:39 am

kerm1t wrote:Hmm, some of the posters here seem to be suffering from acute religous fervour and lack of understanding of the male mind. ;)

Of course it can be taken too far but it's natural for men to want to look at sexy girls. And does ANYBODY here not masturbate from time to time? He/she who is without sin cast the first balled up tissue! :P

I used to keep a few dusty jazz magazines under my bed. One time my ex asked me if I had any porn and I showed them to her. It was incredibly erotic leafing through them with her and talking about what was happening on each page. Both of us ended up having a very, very fun night and no-one got hurt. :D 8-)

I think it only causes a problem when 1) The man is not paying enough attention to his lady because he's always spanking the monkey. 2) The lady isn't satisfying her man so he needs an outlet (more common than most girls think I'd imagine, it's not just a problem for women, and trust me, just because he comes doesn't mean it was good)

Or 3) It's making the lady feel insecure. Lets face it you girls would laugh at a man who felt threatened by your vibrator right? I've never asked a GF to get rid of hers (infact, I think they're pretty damn handy to have around :P ). I mean jeez, what do you want? Your man obsessing over you 24/7? Sounds rediculous doesn't it? (and would probably make most girls run a mile). Let me assure you for 99% of men porn is nowhere near a substitute for a real woman!

I did see one exception here to those three reasons, but that seems to delve into the realms of dysfunction and perhaps needs psycological help. Sorry to hear about that BTW stickmanjim, it sounds awful. :(

Massive post. But I felt what started out as a fun thread has been derailed and sidelined by flaming from people who apparently have some personal issues they want to share. May I suggest to those people they quit with the :fuming: here and start their own "I hate porn" thread, preferably in a different forum.

Ok, my forum warrior mission is complete. :rawr: Keep it on topic please folks. :D




Some girls are different. My boyfriend used to look at those things before we went out. As long he don't look at them when we're going out. I understand if the guy is single. But these porn is usually for old men who can't have an erection. The reason why women don't like their man getting cought up in things like that is because porn is considered women as SEX OBJECTS. its like all women are capable of sex and nothing else. If my man is only capable of sex, then he doesn't love me. Period Point Blank
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby kerm1t » Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:17 am

I have some counterpoints to this and I could go on debating. :rawr:

But like I say I'm scared of coming across as someone who is in favour of porn.

Porn is sleazy, it degrades BOTH the women involved and the men who are looking at it. But that said nothing is black and white, I just wish other people would stop trying to paint it that way. ;) I mean taken to one extreme we could make it illegal for a married man to even look at another woman (the other extreme doesn't bear thinking about...the last days of Rome spring to mind :P ).

But really, if we spent 1/4 as much time teaching self respect in schools as we do maths and English there wouldn't be any "actresses" and thus no more porn. :halo:

This is definitely my last post in this thread. I'm not enjoying this at all. :(
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby aPrince4anMJlover » Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:19 pm

kerm1t wrote:Wow I go away for a snack and look what happens, 2 posts in a very short time.

aPrince4anMJlover wrote:You shouldn't look at porn at all, what's the pleasure in "enjoying" something you can't have...


AP4MJ


Time to don my bandana again. :rawr: That's off topic. It's also completely and utterly wrong in every way. If everybody stopped fantasizing about things they couldn't have life would be incredibly and deeply dull. Antidepressant sales and suicide rates would go through the roof. Conversations would almost not be worth having. The great inventors of the past wouldn't have invented. Infact, if people didn't take pleasure in what they couldn't have we'd probably still be living in caves, trying to bash our own heads in with rocks. :rofl: I'm laughing at the bleak picture I just painted.


I couldn't say I was expecting an opposing response to my post. Porn is insignificant to happiness. It just becomes an addiction and destroys the mind. I also couldn't say I wouldn't be happy if it didn't exist. I :hurl: on porn!
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Beejebus » Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:39 pm

Can't believe this is still being discussed. What conclusion did you arrive at MM?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:15 am

I just wanted to know what other people thought about the issue really. This is not an issue in my household. There did seem to be a consensus of sorts: If he/she's hiding it, there's a problem. And that porn can certainly lead to some very nasty behavior and consequences for all involved... except the industry itself. They are the only ones truly cashing in no matter what happens.

A friend told me that she told her son this, "When you look at that stuff you are giving them power over you. They can control when you are aroused. They manipulate you moods and emotions when it comes to sex." Her son threw his stash away because he desired to have more control over himself at all times. Anyone picking up any possibly addictive habits should consider the same thing.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:36 am

MysticMatriarch wrote:I just wanted to know what other people thought about the issue really. This is not an issue in my household. There did seem to be a consensus of sorts: If he/she's hiding it, there's a problem. And that porn can certainly lead to some very nasty behavior and consequences for all involved... except the industry itself. They are the only ones truly cashing in no matter what happens.

A friend told me that she told her son this, "When you look at that stuff you are giving them power over you. They can control when you are aroused. They manipulate you moods and emotions when it comes to sex." Her son threw his stash away because he desired to have more control over himself at all times. Anyone picking up any possibly addictive habits should consider the same thing.




I highly agree =)
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby jhaelah » Sat Apr 17, 2010 1:17 am

MysticMatriarch wrote:*sigh*

The question was not posed because I need any understanding on the issue. The question was posed because I wanted to know what other people thought about the issue.

There is a problem with porn in my opinion. Anyone that looks at it is endanger of have having unrealistic viewpoints on how sex should be. The women usually have perfect bodies, hair is removed as if to represent pre-adolescence, sex in itself is a messy affair but the scenes are never that, and many of the things I see or hear about being done in them are not the normal but the exception to the rule. Anyone susceptible to believing these things are normal should not be watching.

I never said my hubby has a collection. I said I looked for one. If he did have a collection it would not reflect on me. Porn is a personal preference. It reveals the same amount of unresolved issues as bowl of pistachios. Adults watching adults having sex is hardly cause for alarm. If animals or children are in it, then there are some issues.

I am surprised that you did not read any of my post as length before you decided to determine my marriage, our mental states, and our sex life in jeopardy. It's just a forum question. If someone asked HYE eaten off the floor does that mean that they surely have done so?

Any man or woman that sees porn as something filthy has the right to their opinion. If it is their opinion. Religion has a way of belittling one behavior and justifying other atrocities such as murder in the same breath. If anyone, anything, or any group tells you that something is wrong you need to ask why. God did not create his people to be ignorant only to be led about by the first charismatic leader around who lies better than the rest.

Furthermore, anyone that feels so intimidated by the question of porn probably should not have responded to the post to begin with. If it offends you, move along. No hard feelings for not wishing to speak. Instead of doing that you have revealed to all a loathing for the issue so deep that most almost certainly are wondering if it has caused a break up or divorce in your life. I am sorry if it did. However the issue that you are having should be taken up with counseling.




+++Well said Mystic Matriarch & NEED FOR SPEED!!! Sadly the world has fell into or... "it"-porn, fell into the human hands where it can hinder the relationship w/one's self or in a marital/pre-marital relationship. However, there is HOPE for all! There is no one single reason a person chooses to look at such materials of sex.
Some being very unhumanly vulgar or artfully exotic. What lies within the individual is far beyond what others on the outside see. There's just no room to judge. Sometimes- a lot of times, the "porn addict" may not really like what it is that's taking place in their being, yet the addiction may have come to the point that it controls them rather than them having control of themselves. There's the reality TV show, "SEX REHAB WITH DR. DREW," that show in itself displays the examples of the sort of destruction brought upon these porn addicts lives. It is true, NEED FOR SPEED, that what the eye perceives, the brain will react triggering the release of brain chemicals. The science of that I believe is solely for the one realistic love of your life, your intimate partner in real life. Ones who live virtual lives perhaps came to a decision that it's where they feel most comfortable w/their sexuality... Honestly, some just are afraid of being rejected in the real world. We all must know the world we live in by now, it's cruel & broken.
I write these words with love. I myself know the reality of imperfection of humankind. YES! GOD created us beautifully & artfully. To wholly appreciate & be grateful & not to abuse it. Though, that's exactly what happened here, it has continuously been abused with the choices oneself has made. Now bodies are just viewed by certain eyes as pieces of meat walking around, not really acKNOWLEDGING the TRUTH of it's CREATION. As I stated earlier, "THERE IS HOPE FOR US ALL!" Regaining your life & controlling your integrity. That way there won't have to be such blogs,threads, etc... on this "issue." There's no such thing as perfect. Though we can just be perfect enough from different aspects in life.
Though we maintain with dignity & vitality~LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE~ you make a choice, best wishes with what you decide. :hugs:

JUST A CLICK AWAY,

http://www.EVERYMANSBATTLE.com/

There should also be a site like: http://www.EVERYWOMANSBATTLE.com/


In all things, may Jesus be the strength of your heart, the center of your life, the guide of your future, the joy of your soul.


Respectfully,
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby The Atomic Mango » Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:34 am

the fact that your significant other has a porn collection should indicate that you're doing something wrong...
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:07 am

kerm1t wrote:Hmm, some of the posters here seem to be suffering from acute religous fervour and lack of understanding of the male mind. ;)

Of course it can be taken too far but it's natural for men to want to look at sexy girls. And does ANYBODY here not masturbate from time to time? He/she who is without sin cast the first balled up tissue! :P

I used to keep a few dusty jazz magazines under my bed. One time my ex asked me if I had any porn and I showed them to her. It was incredibly erotic leafing through them with her and talking about what was happening on each page. Both of us ended up having a very, very fun night and no-one got hurt. :D 8-)

I think it only causes a problem when 1) The man is not paying enough attention to his lady because he's always spanking the monkey. 2) The lady isn't satisfying her man so he needs an outlet (more common than most girls think I'd imagine, it's not just a problem for women, and trust me, just because he comes doesn't mean it was good)

Or 3) It's making the lady feel insecure. Lets face it you girls would laugh at a man who felt threatened by your vibrator right? I've never asked a GF to get rid of hers (infact, I think they're pretty damn handy to have around :P ). I mean jeez, what do you want? Your man obsessing over you 24/7? Sounds rediculous doesn't it? (and would probably make most girls run a mile). Let me assure you for 99% of men porn is nowhere near a substitute for a real woman!

I did see one exception here to those three reasons, but that seems to delve into the realms of dysfunction and perhaps needs psycological help. Sorry to hear about that BTW stickmanjim, it sounds awful. :(

Massive post. But I felt what started out as a fun thread has been derailed and sidelined by flaming from people who apparently have some personal issues they want to share. May I suggest to those people they quit with the :fuming: here and start their own "I hate porn" thread, preferably in a different forum.

Ok, my forum warrior mission is complete. :rawr: Keep it on topic please folks. :D


:unworthy: :unworthy: :unworthy:


The Atomic Mango wrote:the fact that your significant other has a porn collection should indicate that you're doing something wrong...


Ok so you think victims of sexual abuse are just "dumb kids" who should know better and not to speak with their attackers and you are against something as mild as porn,

You do need help and fast!


sweetdreams2010 wrote:
endelbendel wrote:
Nostalgic wrote:Porn Hater
Never laid, no orgasms, no joy, paranoid hypervigilance.[/quote

not everybody need to use porn as to get an arouse. It's usually for old guys who can't get an erection...lol


Endel, You obviously don't know me very well,

Nice try though!
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Dreamer12172006 » Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:14 am

needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail.



I second this motion.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:18 pm

aPrince4anMJlover wrote:You shouldn't look at porn at all, what's the pleasure in "enjoying" something you can't have...


AP4MJ




ROTFLOL! :rofl: :clap:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby djudge44 » Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:57 pm

there is no emoticon for loud sustain applause, so...

loud sustained applause....

nicely put, Mike :unworthy:


operatormike wrote:To answer the original question,

I think a wife has a right to look at her husband's "porn collection". I stopped this adolescent behavior before I got married. I threw out everything that had to do with porn.

Once when I was married, I was paging through a book in a store and frankly staring at woman in a bikini. My wife caught me and was justifiably angry. She confronted me directly and I respect her for it. Looking, (strike that) STARING at that woman with lustful thoughts is no different than staring at a real woman. It is an offense to our marriage. It is destructive to our relationship.

You have the right to see what he is hiding. Hopefully, he can grow out of this and become a more complete and selfless man.

:2cents:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Diclonius » Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:57 pm

As a rule I don't date men who watch porn simply because as their significant other they don't need to masturbate all the time, they have someone very willing to fulfill their sexual needs.

I can understand single men and women who watch porn but PERSONALLY and this is simply my opinion of things, if you're in a relationship you shouldn't need porn anymore, I consider it disrespectful and disloyal.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Tera » Fri Apr 30, 2010 8:19 pm

I think it depends on the situation in the relationship really.
Me and my bf are very serious and plan to get married and such, but we don't live in the same house. It's like 20 minutes or so to walk over there.
Married- Same house. Looking at porn is bad then because that means someone isn't getting what they need.
Bf/Gf- Sometimes you can't just call them up or turn over in the bed to say hey lets do it.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Sat May 01, 2010 3:38 am

sweetdreams2010 wrote:
aPrince4anMJlover wrote:You shouldn't look at porn at all, what's the pleasure in "enjoying" something you can't have...


AP4MJ




ROTFLOL! :rofl: :clap:

:lol:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby djudge44 » Sat May 01, 2010 5:28 am

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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby IntheStars » Sat May 01, 2010 6:15 am

I'm on the fence as far as if a guy in a relationship should be allowed to use porn, I use allow because when it comes to any personal choice it's their decision in the end destructive to the relationship or not.


As far as looking for his stash, I'd do it. Curiosity would surely kill this cat.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby sweetdreams2010 » Sat May 01, 2010 7:55 am

needFORspeed116 wrote:
Bubbydoll wrote:You realize it's not the porn, but the person watching it that may create negative problems. Obsession is never good.
Certain people have addictive personalities and there is definitely "too much of a good thing" for them.
My bf has never looked at, or bought a porn mag ever. But he has watched porn and he has pics on his SU that are artsy nudes.
Doesn't bother me at all. I actually give him pics I find beautiful to add.



it doesn't bother you because you've been subliminally told it's "strange" to be concerned about something like that.

if you were concerned and did bring up those concerns about it, your boyfriend would think you were a prude and feel you were being too stuck up...and alot of women everywhere know this...so they just-go-along with it, abusing themselves in the process.

which sounds more like a dysfunctional relationship:

The above or a relationship where the man(or woman in some cases) respect their mate enough to do away with their selfish lust?

It's simple conscience-oriented reasoning here.







Ohh I so agree with you Needforspeed
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collect

Postby Caesar » Sat Jan 21, 2017 4:00 am

Good almighty. Did you really need to necro a thread filled with insecure people that are too ignorant to realize couples watching porn is completely normal?

Damn.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collect

Postby operatormike » Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:59 am

Dear Caesar,

Clearly you did not read this thread. There are testimonies of porn destroying relationships and marriages. Be careful what you accept as normal.

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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collect

Postby Caesar » Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:08 am

Yeah... I actually did read the entire thread. And no, watching porn is completely normal. If a partner has problems with porn that speaks a lot more about their insecurities than anything else.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collect

Postby operatormike » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:38 am

OK Caesar,

Well, I can't ask for anything more than reading the entire thread. You clearly have considered the facts and maintain your viewpoint. See you later.

Peace,
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collect

Postby Xwikki » Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:18 pm

I'm pretty cool with sharing porn collections (who has a collection, though?) I'm not cool with peeking into your partner's collection (in a healthy relationship). Means insecurity, you shouldn't have/need to look at what your partner is doing, and there's something wrong within in your relationship if you go hunting around/looking for something to have against them (probs a lying piece of shit)

I also think that it should be something that is established early on in a relationship so that you're both on the same page. Basic compatibility and honesty, all that. Should be in the initial basics.
It depends on like generation and what type of partners you pick and stuff I guess, but I've never had a it's-not-ok discussion with anyone I've dated. (Actually I didn't even realise it was a such a problem for some people?)

I think that if you both watch porn then it can be something that is shared/explored with each other. Could enhance or... well... diminish/ruin sexual compatibility/interests with each other. This would enable you to have a satisfying sexual relationship, or find another partner until you do.

I'm aware that porn has ruined relationships, but my personal view is that it has something to do with the person that is, well, an idiot to begin with if they base their views/beliefs on it and allow it to ruin their relationship. I understand that porn can mold and influence a young person, but if you're a grown ass adult and you can't work out that porn is fake then you're in the idiot category.

Also, can I point out that this thread is also meant to be "a significant other", not specifically a man.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collect

Postby hank32 » Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:12 am

Super, great, honest answer. This was what I expected, thanks for the tips!
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collect

Postby Sheena » Tue Jun 20, 2017 5:14 pm

The short answer is, No you should look at it together.
And if you can't drop the attitude, then you can apologize to him for being false.
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