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Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Need dating advice? Wanna talk about sex? Just broke up with your boyfriend? Complain about your ex? Jealousy ruining your relationship? Is he/she cheating? This is the forum to discuss and share your real life experiences.

Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:12 pm

Married or not?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby heartsdreamer » Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:24 pm

If he/she let's you see it and you're curious why not? :D
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:55 pm

You wouldn't look without their permission?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Beejebus » Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:53 pm

Go for it.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Tal » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:55 am

Ditto. It's not like they're a collection of private diaries or anything. They're magazines full of genital pics or gyno shots, as a friend calls them. You'll probably get bored after the first couple.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Bubbydoll » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:48 pm

I will third, Beejebus and Tal on that!
And I'll go one step further and suggest you ask to watch a few with him. :)
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby heartsdreamer » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:55 pm

MysticMatriarch wrote:You wouldn't look without their permission?

Of course I would :D
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:09 pm

How would you feel if someone looked at your private stash?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby greenhavoc » Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:22 pm

Tal wrote:Ditto. It's not like they're a collection of private diaries or anything. They're magazines full of genital pics or gyno shots, as a friend calls them. You'll probably get bored after the first couple.


You must be a female because there's not a man on the planet that doesn't like some strange.
Ain't no two the same...that's the attraction,it's always different.
i think there may have only been 2 people in here actually worth a damn :left:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:16 pm

this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Thu Feb 18, 2010 6:20 pm

needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail.


Is it? So you are saying you would be just as disappointed that if you found your boyfriend/husband with a woman as you would looking at a picture of a woman?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Bubbydoll » Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:00 am

Do you live together, if not married? Then it's yours to look at too.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:50 am

Bubbydoll wrote:Do you live together, if not married? Then it's yours to look at too.


So living together invokes the "what's yours in mine, what's mine is yours" rule. You can look at their collection because you are sharing living quarters.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Tal » Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:44 pm

Why don't you just ASK him if you can have a look? If he says no, go and buy a couple of nudie rags of your own and leave them in 'secret' places where he'll find them. If he can have porn so can you.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:05 pm

Tal wrote:Why don't you just ASK him if you can have a look? If he says no, go and buy a couple of nudie rags of your own and leave them in 'secret' places where he'll find them. If he can have porn so can you.


Yeah, of course you should ask. The connotation of the question was would you look at it regardless of their feelings about it.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby endebendel » Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:39 pm

Why so delicate? Do you look at his/her bank account?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:37 pm

endelbendel wrote:Why so delicate? Do you look at his/her bank account?


Sure do. I'm married. It's our account.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:20 pm

Is a porn as private as a bank account?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Beejebus » Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:47 am

^ no.

1. Are you married?
2. Does he hide his porn collection of mags, vids?
3. Does it upset you?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Sat Feb 20, 2010 8:16 am

Beejebus wrote:^ no.

1. Are you married?
2. Does he hide his porn collection of mags, vids?
3. Does it upset you?


Are you saying it depends on the circumstances?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:45 am

MysticMatriarch wrote:Married or not?


Interesting question lol

Hubby doesn't have a collection, and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if he did, If I am away he would just google something or watch on TV if he's in the mood for it.

It wouldn't even cross my mind to go looking for it on his PC, If he found something really good he would share it with me.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:47 am

MysticMatriarch wrote:
needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail.


Is it? So you are saying you would be just as disappointed that if you found your boyfriend/husband with a woman as you would looking at a picture of a woman?



look, i know it pains you to think about how your life would be if you weren't indecent...cuts you deep, otherwise, you wouldn't ask such a silly question.

however, i'm not really in the mood to argue with someone so selfish and careless enough to defend such a sleazy engagement such as porn.

how do you not hate yourself afterwards? how do you not feel like a disgusting and broken human being?

*dismissed*
Last edited by needFORspeed116 on Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:51 am

needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail




Porn Hater Image

:D
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:53 am

Nostalgic wrote:
needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail




Porn Hater Image

:D



Nice touch Smiley Cyrus.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby endebendel » Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:59 am

MysticMatriarch wrote:I'm married. It's our account.
And likely you both take account of your hoo-hah and his dilodle-bop.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Sat Feb 20, 2010 11:10 am

needFORspeed116 wrote:
Nostalgic wrote:
needFORspeed116 wrote:this thread annoys me to no end.

porn will mess your relationship up in the long run...porn is equivalent to 'the other girl' in an affair.

fail fail fail




Porn Hater Image

:D



Nice touch Smiley Cyrus.


Not sure what a smiley Cyrus is :?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby endebendel » Sat Feb 20, 2010 2:21 pm

Nostalgic wrote:Porn Hater
Never laid, no orgasms, no joy, paranoid hypervigilance.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Sun Feb 21, 2010 8:01 am

endelbendel wrote:
MysticMatriarch wrote:I'm married. It's our account.
And likely you both take account of your hoo-hah and his dilodle-bop.


:rofl: I looked for his collection. I was wondering what other people think about the issue.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Sun Feb 21, 2010 11:46 am

endelbendel wrote:
Nostalgic wrote:Porn Hater
:crying: Boo hoo, I'm so butthurt. :crying:



Image
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Sun Feb 21, 2010 1:12 pm

needFORspeed116 wrote:
endelbendel wrote:
Nostalgic wrote:Porn Hater
:crying: Boo hoo, I'm so butthurt. :crying:



Image


Cheer up, Watch some Porn :D :hugs:
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Sun Feb 21, 2010 3:41 pm

To needFORspeed116

Wait, I just now read what you said. I did not say I watched it. I was implicating looking for a significant other's collection. What exactly makes some a "disgusting and broken human being" to look at porn?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby bunkiemonkey » Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:24 pm

MysticMatriarch wrote:To needFORspeed116

Wait, I just now read what you said. I did not say I watched it. I was implicating looking for a significant other's collection. What exactly makes some a "disgusting and broken human being" to look at porn?

Ego distracts sexual instinct to circumvent awareness of core fear; intimacy, casteration.> Hehehe.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Beejebus » Sun Feb 21, 2010 6:57 pm

MysticMatriarch wrote:
Beejebus wrote:^ no.

1. Are you married?
2. Does he hide his porn collection of mags, vids?
3. Does it upset you?


Are you saying it depends on the circumstances?


Yeah and how it makes you feel. If he locks them away, don't go picking a lock to get to them.
If in the open, he isn't hiding anything from you, so take a look.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby endebendel » Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:08 pm

Beejebus wrote:If he locks them away, don't go picking a lock to get to them.
Bad advise if a marriage.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Beejebus » Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:28 pm

Bad on him. If he's hiding them from her in some safe, locked box.
You think she should pick the lock to see it?
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:43 pm

Beejebus wrote:Bad on him. If he's hiding them from her in some safe, locked box.
You think she should pick the lock to see it?

:lol: Other that kiddie stuff I can't imagine what would be bad enough to go to such extremes.

As for should the pick the lock: Circumstantial I suppose. I don't personally see a few nudy pictures as being worthy of the care one puts into a heist. Of course if one suspects his/her spouse of being that person they are talking about in the paper then, in the least, questions should be asked.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:52 pm

I want to reiterate that if your husband is looking at porn now, there are deeper issues you both need to work on.


Why does he have it in the first place? Why does he feel he needs it? Have you even bothered to ask?


It seems like you came into this thinking the fact that he has porn is normal...but as another user previously stated, WHY does he hide it then? You see, it's NOT normal behavior...this is what porn does.


Is it out of shame? Well, logic says if you're ASHAMED...you're doing something WRONG. That's your conscience talking loud and clear.


Obviously he doesn't perceive YOU...his OWN WIFE...as able to satisfy him enough.


He feels he needs this 'middleman'.


There's a compromise of intimacy at work here...wether physical or emotional/social and if left unchecked, WILL destroy your relationship.


The same applies for couples who use porn to quote unquote "spice things up."


You shouldn't need that.


NOBODY is diciplined enough to negate the negative effects of Porn....this is why you MUST abstain from it...period.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby MysticMatriarch » Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:17 am

*sigh*

The question was not posed because I need any understanding on the issue. The question was posed because I wanted to know what other people thought about the issue.

There is a problem with porn in my opinion. Anyone that looks at it is endanger of have having unrealistic viewpoints on how sex should be. The women usually have perfect bodies, hair is removed as if to represent pre-adolescence, sex in itself is a messy affair but the scenes are never that, and many of the things I see or hear about being done in them are not the normal but the exception to the rule. Anyone susceptible to believing these things are normal should not be watching.

I never said my hubby has a collection. I said I looked for one. If he did have a collection it would not reflect on me. Porn is a personal preference. It reveals the same amount of unresolved issues as bowl of pistachios. Adults watching adults having sex is hardly cause for alarm. If animals or children are in it, then there are some issues.

I am surprised that you did not read any of my post as length before you decided to determine my marriage, our mental states, and our sex life in jeopardy. It's just a forum question. If someone asked HYE eaten off the floor does that mean that they surely have done so?

Any man or woman that sees porn as something filthy has the right to their opinion. If it is their opinion. Religion has a way of belittling one behavior and justifying other atrocities such as murder in the same breath. If anyone, anything, or any group tells you that something is wrong you need to ask why. God did not create his people to be ignorant only to be led about by the first charismatic leader around who lies better than the rest.

Furthermore, anyone that feels so intimidated by the question of porn probably should not have responded to the post to begin with. If it offends you, move along. No hard feelings for not wishing to speak. Instead of doing that you have revealed to all a loathing for the issue so deep that most almost certainly are wondering if it has caused a break up or divorce in your life. I am sorry if it did. However the issue that you are having should be taken up with counseling.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Mon Feb 22, 2010 7:56 am

There is a problem with porn in my opinion. Anyone that looks at it is endanger of have having unrealistic viewpoints on how sex should be.


then..

Adults watching adults having sex is hardly cause for alarm.


:?


At any rate...you wanted to know what others thought about this issue and I gave you what I thought on this issue, which I backed up with tangible evidence in my other thread.

In that thread, I present to you exactly why you're WRONG about the notion that "Adults having sex with Adults is no cause for alarm..."

Porn...no-matter-who-is-in-it has very vicious addicting qualities to it...the human eye and the bodie's neurochemicals ALWAYS demand more...it's ignorant to leave that unattended.

You're playing with fire, if you don't quench it when you have the chance, you will get burnt.

And I don't even know how you got on the subject of Religion.

I guess it's because your conscience is really stiring up in you the connection between God, morality, and yes...the stain of sexual indecency the likes of which Porn flaunts ever so boastfully.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Mon Feb 22, 2010 1:12 pm

I don't think having porn is cause for alarm, I think hiding it def is though.

I disagree with the comment (sorry needforspeed we just don't agree but :hugs: all the same :D )

needFORspeed116 wrote:The same applies for couples who use porn to quote unquote "spice things up."

You shouldn't need that.


A lot of couples use porn together, "Spicing things up" means doing different things, Watching porn is just one of them, I would get bored in the bedroom doing the same old thing all the time and I would expect my husband to get bored if our sex was the same every night.

We generally don't watch porn together we "spice things up" in other ways but if a couple watches porn together I would say it is healthy.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby endebendel » Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:20 pm

116 has been hurt. That is why so prickly and unpleasant.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Mon Feb 22, 2010 4:14 pm

Nostalgic wrote:I don't think having porn is cause for alarm, I think hiding it def is though.

I disagree with the comment (sorry needforspeed we just don't agree but :hugs: all the same :D )

needFORspeed116 wrote:The same applies for couples who use porn to quote unquote "spice things up."

You shouldn't need that.


A lot of couples use porn together, "Spicing things up" means doing different things, Watching porn is just one of them, I would get bored in the bedroom doing the same old thing all the time and I would expect my husband to get bored if our sex was the same every night.

We generally don't watch porn together we "spice things up" in other ways but if a couple watches porn together I would say it is healthy.



Well of course you would.


Again, if a couple NEEDS this...there's something wrong.


Somewhere in alot of these relationships, *too much emphasis* is being put on the sex.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Bubbydoll » Tue Feb 23, 2010 8:57 am

You realize it's not the porn, but the person watching it that may create negative problems. Obsession is never good.
Certain people have addictive personalities and there is definitely "too much of a good thing" for them.
My bf has never looked at, or bought a porn mag ever. But he has watched porn and he has pics on his SU that are artsy nudes.
Doesn't bother me at all. I actually give him pics I find beautiful to add.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:45 am

Bubbydoll wrote:You realize it's not the porn, but the person watching it that may create negative problems. Obsession is never good.
Certain people have addictive personalities and there is definitely "too much of a good thing" for them.
My bf has never looked at, or bought a porn mag ever. But he has watched porn and he has pics on his SU that are artsy nudes.
Doesn't bother me at all. I actually give him pics I find beautiful to add.



it doesn't bother you because you've been subliminally told it's "strange" to be concerned about something like that.

if you were concerned and did bring up those concerns about it, your boyfriend would think you were a prude and feel you were being too stuck up...and alot of women everywhere know this...so they just-go-along with it, abusing themselves in the process.

which sounds more like a dysfunctional relationship:

The above or a relationship where the man(or woman in some cases) respect their mate enough to do away with their selfish lust?

It's simple conscience-oriented reasoning here.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Bubbydoll » Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:54 am

Nopes, doesn't concern me at all. I think women's bodies are beautiful too. Nothing to shy away from, or be ashamed of looking at. I am not prudish, if anything he is. So that isn't something he will accuse me of.
It's isn't strange to be concerned about someone you love if they suffer an addiction, but if they don't and they enjoy looking, I don't feel bothered by it. Sorry to say but I don't think anything in moderation is bad.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:12 am

Bubbydoll wrote:Nopes, doesn't concern me at all. I think women's bodies are beautiful too. Nothing to shy away from, or be ashamed of looking at. I am not prudish, if anything he is. So that isn't something he will accuse me of.
It's isn't strange to be concerned about someone you love if they suffer an addiction, but if they don't and they enjoy looking, I don't feel bothered by it. Sorry to say but I don't think anything in moderation is bad.



Where do you think the phrase "Porn ADDICT" comes from?

These people are not just viewing it "in moderation."

It only started out that way.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Bubbydoll » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:18 am

I'm grateful I am not the proud owner of one. :)
Some people can look and move along too.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby Nostalgic » Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:09 am

We are not "Porn Addicts"

There is a difference between enjoying something and being obsessed.
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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby operatormike » Tue Feb 23, 2010 12:08 pm

To answer the original question,

I think a wife has a right to look at her husband's "porn collection". I stopped this adolescent behavior before I got married. I threw out everything that had to do with porn.

Once when I was married, I was paging through a book in a store and frankly staring at woman in a bikini. My wife caught me and was justifiably angry. She confronted me directly and I respect her for it. Looking, (strike that) STARING at that woman with lustful thoughts is no different than staring at a real woman. It is an offense to our marriage. It is destructive to our relationship.

You have the right to see what he is hiding. Hopefully, he can grow out of this and become a more complete and selfless man.

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Re: Should you peek at your significant other's porn collection?

Postby needFORspeed116 » Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:50 pm

Nostalgic wrote:We are not "Porn Addicts"

There is a difference between enjoying something and being obsessed.


I wasn't necessarily talking to you.

As for your second comment...that's right...and if I were to say that to people whose lives have been torn apart by it, I'd get a look of desperation and "too late" from them.

Again, ONLY when it destroys your life, can you appreciate its power...not before then.

I keep forgetting who my audience is though. This is a moral issue that you are not going to understand unless you were to come under the conviction of God...specifically The Holy Spirit.

You don't believe in God, so naturally, this is a non-issue for you...but I'm not judging you.

All I can do is pray for God to bring about the change.
Last edited by needFORspeed116 on Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:18 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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