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Girls: Are guys in general just buttholes?

Need dating advice? Wanna talk about sex? Just broke up with your boyfriend? Complain about your ex? Jealousy ruining your relationship? Is he/she cheating? This is the forum to discuss and share your real life experiences.

Girls: Are guys in general just buttholes?

Postby dreamerseeker » Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:31 pm

1. On facebook, I've had my same profile picture for over a year. I just now changed it to a more updated picture of myself with new glasses, etc. I noticed a semi-friend of mine (who is dark skinned) just updated their picture to a picture similar to mine.

Coincidence?... I have a round and baby-ish face and new big framed glasses (like the ones everyone wheres now)...My "sort of a friend" who is a dark-skinned male just updated their picture today of a little round-faced white kid wearing big old-fashioned glasses. Now maybe I am paranoid, but his new profile picture reminds me of my own and the fact that my semi-friend and I kept our profile pictures the same for quite a while now and we both happened to update our pictures today and of a similar appearance...I call him my "semi-friend" because he claims he loves me, but he never compliments me, or even gives me any sign that he actually loves me at all, and we go months without speaking a word to each other. So, I just consider him a casual friend.

2. An old high school graduation classmate (who I never talked to nor hung out with) just decides to send me a facebook friend request after 6 years since graduation. I accepted his friend request just because why not. Moments later, he texted me on messenger "Hey". I didn't say anything at all to him, instead I just deleted the conversation because he is single, and he most likely saw on my profile page that I'm single too, and I will bet money that he is just desperate for a girl and would ask me out if I texted him back. I can assume that because I've actually had that happen to me fairly often. And I am not at all interested in guys who are desperate, been arrested, and have kids since they were teenagers. Anyway, I just deleted his "Hey" and moments later he messaged me again "So, you're gonna be one of them that add me on facebook and not talk to me?" I didn't know how to respond to this, so I just blocked him altogether from facebook.

3. Back in 2015, I met this boy "William". He asked me out on a date, then he would just totally blow me off and not show up. He gave me some excuse "I wasn't feeling well" then ask me out on another date, and again, not show up then give me another excuse. This pattern happened about 5 times then I gave up on him and I told him some crappy excuse the next time he asked me out. He has also UNfriended me on facebook, now after 3 years, he's back at wanting to be friends with me again...

4. Back in 2013, I broke up with my boyfriend of 1.5 years because he was secretly seeing his previous ex-girlfriend behind my back and I had to find out the hard way when my aunt called me to tell me she saw them two together at a local parade. When I asked him about it he basically shouted at me that he loves her. Now they are getting married.


What do you ladies think? Are guys, in general, just buttholes? Do decent ones who are single and actually care even exist anymore?
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Re: Girls: Are guys in general just buttholes?

Postby Jezzabella » Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:11 am

First guy - why keep someone like that as a friend? Perhaps you are the asshole in this situation, stringing him along when he has professed his undying love and you don’t reciprocate.

Second guy - who knows what his motives are by contacting you. Maybe you are right. Who knows.

Third guy - you set very low standards by giving this person a FIFTH chance. Didn’t learn the first time he stood you up and now you are a doormat to wipe shoes on.

Fourth guy - sometimes people are unfaithful reguardless of gender.
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Re: Girls: Are guys in general just buttholes?

Postby dreamerseeker » Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:31 am

Jezzabella wrote:First guy - why keep someone like that as a friend? Perhaps you are the asshole in this situation, stringing him along when he has professed his undying love and you don’t reciprocate.

Second guy - who knows what his motives are by contacting you. Maybe you are right. Who knows.

Third guy - you set very low standards by giving this person a FIFTH chance. Didn’t learn the first time he stood you up and now you are a doormat to wipe shoes on.

Fourth guy - sometimes people are unfaithful reguardless of gender.



First guy - What's wrong with being a casual friend? At least he never said anything dirty or disrespectful to me.
Third guy - Well, the first few times, maybe he actually was sick and/or something unexpected came up. It's understandable for plans to change suddenly. But when it was becoming a little too common, that's when I decided to give up on him.
Fourth guy - Very true. But this was another example that I felt fit in nicely with the things I've encountered with guys.
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Re: Girls: Are guys in general just buttholes?

Postby VenusInChains » Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:18 am

I kinda agree with jezsabelle about the first guy especially if it’s that Algerian guy. It’s cruel to string someone on like that. Here’s what’s wrong with it... So you keeping him around as a “casual friend” he loves you and you don’t feel the same and his feelings have are unchanged over a long period of time. If you cut contact with him yeah it will hurt him but he will eventually move on and find someone else that actually loves him, by keeping him around you deny him that opportunity. It does make you look like an asshole but perhaps you keep him around because you like the attention.

I also agree with jezzabell on the third guy. If someone stands you up and you give them more than one chance, well you care about that person more than they care about you, and more importantly you care about that person more than you care about yourself. If they can’t value your time why give them more? It is a very low standard to set for one person. Good riddance if this person unfriended you on Facebook but I’m kinda baffled why you’d want someone like that on your friends list. Again do you like the attention?
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Re: Girls: Are guys in general just buttholes?

Postby dreamerseeker » Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:55 am

VenusInChains,

Yes, the first guy is the Algerian guy. Bt the thing is, how do I know he actually loves me truthfully and not just trying to trick me into anything? He NEVER said I'm beautiful, or anything like that. He just used to tell me just he loves me. That's it. Once I asked him why he loves me and his response was because I am shy and modest. That's his only reason. I don't know about you, but I don't think that's true relationship kind of love. Plus he is a Muslim, I'm not. He told me that the only way we could ever have a relationship, if our feelings for each other ever came to that, is if I convert into a Christian, Jew, or Muslim. Which is no way happening because I am an Atheist and do not consider myself religious at all. He knows this. And again as I said, we went MONTHS without speaking a word to each other. So in a way, I have tried dropping contact with him. But after around 3 months of not speaking a word, he messages me and asks me why I forgot about him. I mean, he is trying to stay in contact with me. I don't see what is wrong with just being a friend. I even told him several times that I would just like to be friends and nothing more. He always agreed every time. One time he even agreed with me that taking things slow and just start out as friends first is better than rushing into a relationship.

Third guy, yes, he sent me a new friend request after 3 years of no contact. But who says I have accepted it? He's not on my facebook friend list anymore. I guess I should have mentioned that? I already told you that I gave up on him.
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Re: Girls: Are guys in general just buttholes?

Postby cannydreams » Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:53 pm

I would have talked to the FB guy who typed "Hey" and see why he added you after so long and also asked why after so long he got pissy over you not replying right away.
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