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19. never dated. Unusual?

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19. never dated. Unusual?

Postby DogsAreCool » Sat Sep 23, 2017 9:33 pm

Still not really sure what I'm trying to achieve by posting this; I think I just want to vent at this point.
Anyway, 19 year old girl, college student. I've never dated, never kissed anyone (so obviously still a virgin). No one has ever been interested in me and I've never pursued anyone. I find men attractive and sometimes even feel a desire to date them but never act on it. I have friends that try to hook me up with people, etc. but I resist.
I have a lot of things going on in my life, I go to school full time, I work 30 hours a week as a graphic designer, I'm a classical pianist and I plan to transfer to a music school once I'm done with my associates degree in the spring. I'm proud of the things I've achieved and I'm advanced in terms of the skills I have for a person my age (wow now it sounds like I'm making this post to brag, I swear I'm not!) but I lag behind in every other social aspect. I don't go out, I don't date, I barely see the friends that I do have; I'm introverted in every sense of the word.
So I guess I'm wondering, should I try dating? am I missing out? I have a feeling that I might be alone forever at this point and I'm unsure how to feel about that ( I sort of like the idea, as strange as that sounds). I love my independence, I can do what I want when I want and continue to pursue my goals untethered by what any other person (namely, a boyfriend,) would want from me. I have my eye currently fixed on a boy that my friend wants to set me up with, we have a lot in common as far as she's told me and he is really attractive. But, I'm afraid to give up my time on myself. I need to time practice, I need time for homework, I don't want to not be able to do the things I love because someone else requires my time as well.
I've done some research online for articles and such like "are you ready to date" and all of that dumb self-help dating advise and I pass all of the self confidence requirements (which could actually be part of my problem here. Maybe I love myself too much to spend time with someone else LOL)
So, what should I do? Should I stop being so uptight and maybe take a risk, or maybe I'm just too prude and selfish to date at this point?
I hope I didn't come across as anti-love because that's really not the truth of the matter. Sometimes I do feel like I could be without a romantic partner for the rest of my life but, in the end that isn't true and sometimes I do have that desire for someone to be there for me in a more-than-friends way. I'm just afraid of losing sight of my goals because I got side tracked by a boy. I'm also afraid that I won't be able to find the mature individual I need, because, remember, I'm 19 and boys at this age aren't exactly husband material yet lol. I've always been the sort of person who knows exactly what they want and how they're going to get it but I just don't know in this case AND I HATE IT!!
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Re: 19. never dated. Unusual?

Postby Sheena » Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:11 pm

No, virginity is not obvious. Penises and vaginas go together independently of lips touching or hearts colliding.
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Re: 19. never dated. Unusual?

Postby DogsAreCool » Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:51 pm

Sheena wrote:No, virginity is not obvious. Penises and vaginas go together independently of lips touching or hearts colliding.


Thanks for the input Sheena. Your anecdotes are always appreciated.
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Re: 19. never dated. Unusual?

Postby Sheena » Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:08 am

It's more a turn of phrase. Anecdote is a story.
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Re: 19. never dated. Unusual?

Postby Xwikki » Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:16 pm

1. Stop overthinking it.
2. Dating doesn't mean you have to look for marriage material. It's pretty simple, if you start dating someone and you want time to yourself, then tell them you want time to yourself. If they don't like it, you either compromise or you're not compatible. Next.
3. You haven't even met anyone yet and you're thinking about all this (ref no. 1)
4. Being selfish isn't a bad thing. Focusing on yourself is underrated. Remember you'll always have yourself.
5. Don't focus on society's regimented rules. Do you.

*Edit: Tina
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Re: 19. never dated. Unusual?

Postby Tal » Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:49 pm

You're still a teenager. Don't worry about it. Just work on yourself and what you want from life. The rest will happen by itself.
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