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How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression....

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How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression....

Postby staraura5 » Sun Feb 28, 2016 1:55 am

My partner suffers really bad anxiety and depression and it really does take a toll on our relationship and me, i feel emotionally drained and on eggshells most of the time he tends to take it out on me without realizing it , i have no idea how to deal with him when he is like that i try express how he affects me but he snaps at me when i do, i love him a ton load i want the best for him so bad i try and try every day to be there and support him through it i encourage him and give him love and care but i feel nothing i do gets noticed anyway... just wondering if anyone has a partner who goes through anxiety and depression as well and how i can deal with it without feeling so stressed and drained myself :( :bored:
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby VenusInChains » Sun Feb 28, 2016 4:37 am

What do you do to support him?
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby staraura5 » Sun Feb 28, 2016 5:59 am

VenusInChains wrote:What do you do to support him?


I comfort him give him love and do what i can to help make things easier for him
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby VenusInChains » Sun Feb 28, 2016 6:57 am

I can't give you a lot of advice aside from couples counselling. I don't know if you've heard of reddit but there is a forum dedicated to /relationships where you can get better advice on how to deal with this.
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby Nostalgic » Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:52 pm

I'm no expert but I do you know you must love him dearly,to stay.
It's not,easy on both people in a relationship where one is depressed.
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby pisces_dreamer » Wed Mar 02, 2016 11:57 am

This might sound harsh, but you may have to let him go, even if it is temporary. It just depends on the kind of person he is; does he alienate himself or is he so desperate for attention it doesnt matter if its negative?

If its the latter, you can believe he's just using you, after all misery loves company.

I've been single for 5 years because of depression. I was in relationships for 4 w/ depression previously, and I can assure you I made those poor girls miserable, intentionally or unintentionally its inevitable when you're your own worst enemy. That said, being single is the best thing for me, it's allowed me to find myself and although I'm not quite out of it I've made personal progress.

Just think about it like this; a happy relationship is impossible if one person is unhappy.

Anyhow, I hope this helps somewhat, I know it doesnt seem it would but it will in the long run.
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby Masha » Fri Mar 04, 2016 10:01 am

Yes, it is not easy to deal with someone who depressed because certain words and actions may make his condition worse. But you should find strength to stay with him and help otherwise a person may do something silly. Read this one, it might be helpful http://undepress.net/how-to-help-someon ... loved-one/
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby staraura5 » Tue Mar 08, 2016 4:55 pm

Thank you for all the feedback and advice , its much appreciated !! I do love him dearly I think a lot that leaving him may be the best option for his growth and healing he clearly can't handle a relationship right now but he doesn't want me to let him go like that he wants me by his side but he really stresses me out and does not realize that his outbursts have an affect on me
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby koolchick » Wed Apr 06, 2016 10:08 am

All depression is different but for him to take things out on you is wrong. Maybe step away and let him come to you and every time he has a go at you go away from him. He will then need to decide how much he wants you in his life and treat you with respect or lose you. I know when it is you in a situation it is much harder to think clearly and decide to do right thing, but in long run it is for best.

I had experience of dating someone with depression last year and can honestly say it was the hardest split up I've been through. It was him who chose for us to split and I did everything I could to be there and help him but he just slowly shut me out of his life. We got together in September 2014 just over a month after his wife died. My mum said straight away he couldn't of cared much about his wife to move on so soon so didn't think he would care about me. I went on how he acted with me and stayed with him everything was great til Valentine's Day 2015. We had booked a night in hotel near me which I paid for as he was struggling for money but he said he would buy meal and drinks while there. I went to meet him on the day he had already said he was having bad day though depression but hoped he would feel better after seeing me. I met him he wanted to get a drink before going to hotel. We sat down with drinks and he decided he didn't want to go to the hotel he spent the day at hospital with me then stayed at his own house. I had got him a card and present which I never got to give him he got me nothing. Since then we met once the week after when he admitted he didn't want relationship but wanted to stay mates with the possibility of getting back together when he was ready. From then I spent the next month trying to get him to still keep in touch and show interest in meeting. He claimed he had no money at all so couldn't meet. After about a month I asked him if he wanted me to travel to see him if he couldn't afford to get half way. He said he would like that but would try to get half way. I felt better knowing I would see him. The day before we were due to meet I felt less bothered about seeing him for first time since we last met. I decided unless he said he could meet halfway I wouldn't bother as he had shown no interest in meeting and I had to pester him into saying he wanted to meet. So wasn't worth wasting money and time to see him and make me feel miserable again. Later that day he said he couldn't get halfway so I pretty much said everything I had felt in past month which he didn't like but said he understood and from then he admitted he didn't want to meet anymore. He never admitted he hadn't wanted to meet before but I feel my outburst made him be more honest.
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Re: How can i deal with someone who suffers bad depression..

Postby Godess » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:53 am

ok it sounds more like emotional abuse. I just did research on it and im no expert but if you need help you should google narcissistic personality it will describe all his symptoms and you'll recognize most of them.
theres another term called emotional vampires which is almost the same thing but they tell you how they manipulate you and mind control you to keep you with them and use you till they drain you emotionally and financially.
good luck with that and you might have to leave him soon cause it sounds like your co-dependent on him now. its not love sweety its abuse. also google trauma bonding. all that should help. blessing.
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