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Break up or sort out?

Need dating advice? Wanna talk about sex? Just broke up with your boyfriend? Complain about your ex? Jealousy ruining your relationship? Is he/she cheating? This is the forum to discuss and share your real life experiences.

Break up or sort out?

Postby koolchick » Tue Jan 19, 2016 2:03 pm

I have always been shy in new relationships about sexual side of things, but in past have worked with partners to get more comfortable through talking. I recently started a new relationship with a man a bit younger than me. He seems to be rushing things but not wanting to talk things through. Last week we got undressed and straight away he starts trying to have sex. I asked him if we should use protection ( I know we should) he replied we didn't need to cos he has low sperm count so is very unlikely to make me pregnant. He continued as if we were having sex but he was just rubbing himself on my leg. I know I should of been firmer in saying I wasn't comfortable. This weekend we got undressed again and he straight away got up to put some gel or something in my vagina and tried to have sex but again was just rubbing on my leg. Sinse then I have tried twice talking about sexual stuff and what we like but he just changes subject. So it's like he just wants sex toy and no talking.
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Re: Break up or sort out?

Postby Sheena » Tue Jan 19, 2016 3:04 pm

You are being passively feminine submissive dependent irresponsible ultimately untrustworthy.
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Re: Break up or sort out?

Postby VenusInChains » Tue Jan 19, 2016 9:27 pm

If there is poor communication at the start of a relationship like him not listening, don't expect it to improve without effort especially on his part.

How do you know for certain he has a low sperm count? I knew a guy who claimed he was infertile to one of his ex gf, she fell pregnant and ended up aborting because he said it could not possible be his, but then moved on and had a family with someone else.
Oh well
Whatever
Never mind
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Re: Break up or sort out?

Postby Tal » Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:13 am

Wow. I've gotta go with Sheena & Venus on this one.
You're saying you get naked, lay on the bed & then expect to negotiate the terms of your sexual encounter in the heat of the moment? Sexual boundaries are established BEFORE the fun even begins.
You ARE untrustworthy. If this boy can get his big head working over his little one, he'd be running a mile.
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Re: Break up or sort out?

Postby Sheena » Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:04 pm

We love the imagery by Tal. Questioner setting up something to happen by accident that is taboo for her to admit she wishes for.
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Re: Break up or sort out?

Postby Clementine » Wed Jan 20, 2016 9:48 pm

My sister says you never just rely on the boy/man to take care of protection - precautions? you take it yourself too in taking birth control regularly, do you not take birth control too?
You said you asked " should we use protection " like you don't take any or use any yourself, he could have herpes, you want that off him?
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Re: Break up or sort out?

Postby DarkAxel » Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:46 am

First off, you need to stop getting nekkid with this guy. His reaction will tell you volumes about his intentions toward you. If he lays on the charm and pressures you to get nekkid with him again, resist the urge. If he doubles-down on the pressure and charm, he probably sees you as "Playing Hard To Get" and maybe "A Worthy Challenge". If he tries to shame you into getting nekkid with him, he is a douche-nozzle who only cares about "Getting Lucky" and wants to notch his bedpost. If he distances himself from you, he either thinks of you as "not worth his time", or he is giving you some distance while he sorts out some things for himself. If he tells you that he accepts the new limits you've placed on the relationship, he's either working a "long con" or he really does care about your feelings.

Try to find out if this guy is a virgin. If he is, there's a 50/50 chance he just wants to punch his "v-card" so he can "be a man". Slow things way the hell down, and for all that is Holy and sacred don't let his unprotected man-parts touch your unprotected lady-parts unless you KNOW that he is STD free and that BOTH OF YOU are willing to accept the consequences (a potential pregnancy - no contraceptive method is 100% effective).

I also want you to know that I say this as a guy who once "played the game" to "get lucky". The consequences for me was a son I only get to see once a month and an ex-wife I can barely tolerate on a good day.
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Re: Break up or sort out?

Postby Sheena » Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:59 pm

Clementine wrote:you want that off him?

She will take it to get what she really wants - without admitting it.
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Break up or sort out

Postby Cinnawore » Mon Dec 05, 2016 11:35 am

Hi all,Do any of you know is there a support group in Malaysia for people who is going through a difficult time after a long term relationship break up or divorce? Please do let me know. Thank you..
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