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am i inlove?

Need dating advice? Wanna talk about sex? Just broke up with your boyfriend? Complain about your ex? Jealousy ruining your relationship? Is he/she cheating? This is the forum to discuss and share your real life experiences.

am i inlove?

Postby Night6666 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:36 pm

I'm pretty sure being in love is hard to describe and everyone has a different deception on it. But I will ask anyway.

Some background information:
He was my best friend who I ended up having romantic feelings for and I've like liked him for over 10 months. We have been dating for about 8 and a half months altogether but we were broken up for a month so I've only been dating him for 6 months in this relationship presently. I loved him as a person and friend back before I ever considered him as more of a friend.

I definitely really like him romantically and I'm wondering if this might be what being in love is? I know for sure it isn't infatuation because it feels so much different, realer and more natural than any other relationship I have had. He is my favourite person on this planet and when I'm with him, everything is more interesting. I don't think it would be possible to have a crush on anyone else while I feel this way for him. I should note I am only 16, not sure if being in love is even a possibility at this age? He thinks he is in love with me. For the record, I don't believe in the whole teenage relationship things lasting so I know if this is true love, it won't be the last but at the same time it feels like it and I would love to be with him for the rest of my life, even though I prefer girls to guys sexually.

I guess I am a bit confused on what being in love is... Some people think it is just how you feel about someone and others say it's life changing thing that makes everything, not just stuff about that person, better and different. I'd like to hear some opinions on this.

Another question, is being in love meaning loving someone in a romantic way rather than liking them a lot in a romantic way?

Feel free to ask me any questions to do with how I feel towards him etc.
Night6666
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Re: am i inlove?

Postby left22 » Wed Jul 08, 2015 1:09 pm

Good questions
You might think that will all the attention humanity has given to the concept of love we could have it figured out.

Here are some more questions:
Is Love sex? Is Love attraction? What role does sex and attraction play in the expierance of love?

In relationship do we love the person or love the way we feel when around someone? How do we know the differeance?
Is Love liking, do we have to like someone in order to Love them?

What role does love play in relationship? In the words of Tina Turner "What’s Love got to do with it" and the Beatles "all you need is love"
Does Love mean two people can live together?
Can Love remain even in separation, disappointment, hurt?

How are accountability, responsibility, meaning, purpose, consciousness qualities of Love? What do these qualities say about the experience of love?
If Love means we get to be conscious and accountable for who we are and what we do, that who we are and what we do gets to make a difference and create meaning and purpose for ourselves and others… what does it mean to love unconditionally?

Is love a feeling or a way of being?

Why does Life require the sacrifice of Life? What does that say about Love?

What if love is a constant that does not ebb and flow with our likes and dislikes, our fear or hope, our experiences?

My own conclusion is that Love is a way being. Love says yes to it all, all of it, all that we might measure to be good and bad. (How is it that what is experienced as bad in one moment creates the good in the next and vice versa?)

Saying Yes to it all is not unconditional allowing, nor does it mean that nothing matters. Saying yes to it all means it all matters!

The trick here is to be able to say yes to it all while continuing to live out your truths, your authentic self. This might mean living with someone and raising a family with them, it could mean separation, it could mean sacrificing your life, standing up against others who you must trust are living out their truths. The difference is that when such choices are made they are made not from fear or anger or hate, self rightiousness... but love. And that is a big difference.
"Childhood is the dream that allows us to understand what we do not yet know." ― Muriel Barbery
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