Friend has feelings for my Crush

[Xox-Zip-xoX]

I should start by mentioning that about 8 months back I started developing really strong feelings for a very close friend of mine. We were both going through bad breakups, and were spending a lot of time together, during one of the times we were hanging out he mentioned that he had started developing feelings for me, I told him that I felt the same way, but we both agreed that neither of us were ready for a relationship, and he suggested that we wait before jumping into anything. To make a long story short, I got way too obsessive, and he started developing feelings for someone else, through this me and him remained close though, he'd confide in me about problems with her, and I'd help him through it, just to see him happy, despite my increasing feelings for him.

During all of this I was confiding in my friend of 10 years, I told her everything, showed her all the conversations me and him had, and took every bit of advice she sent my way, a few months after we admitted our feelings for one another I suggested that the three of us hangout, so she could meet the man I talked so much about. After meeting him she began talking to me less and less, and the odd time she did, she would try to discourage me from going after him, It finally reached the point where me and her just didn't talk at all, I wasn't really sure why.

After 2 or three months of not talking she finally sent me a message telling me that she had feelings for him, and that it was okay if I never wanted to speak to her again, she wanted to be honest and couldn't help how she felt..

I have no clue what to say back to her, I'm really upset, because I never thought she would do something like this to me, I don't want to be mean, and completely burn my bridges with her, I also don't want to give her anything she can use as fuel to turn him against me (not that I really think she could anyways) I also don't want to make her think that everything's okay between us.

I think what bothers me the most is how she says "I can't help my feelings" that's the most bullshit thing I've ever heard. You can't just accidentally fall in love with someone, it takes some amount of work, the way I see it, she continued to put herself in situations that would allow her to develop feelings for him, even though she knew full well how I felt. Maybe it's just me, but when a friend of mine has feelings for someone, I deliberately avoid getting close to that person to avoid coming between them. I have friends who have been dating for 2 years, and I still don't like talking to her boyfriend because I'm constantly in fear that I'm going to some how screw things up for them... It also upsets me how easily she's willing to toss out 10 years of friendship for a guy she's know for a total of 6 months, who outright said he doesn't even feel the same way...

[iEchos]

I think the reason she said that it would be O.K if you don't want to talk to her again is because she understands that she is betraying you by liking the same guy you like. And usually, that's what causes friendships to drift apart, I don't think she's willingly throwing it away.
You should worry about yourself in this situation. I'm referring to the guy in this case, because you KNOW he doesn't like you, so you're BEST bet is to ACCEPT the outcome and move on.
Regardless if your friend has a crush on him or not, you already know the outcome for you is that nothing will progress. Even though it hurts that your friend likes the same guy, in life you just have to accept it. Because in reality, you can't help who you "fall in love" with. People tend to feel attraction toward the unexpected.
If you want to maintain the friendship, the best thing to do is to talk to her about how it hurts you and express your feelings fully, but not in an abrupt manner. But to also drop the other guy and be a bigger individual and move on.
If however, her liking him hurts you too much to even accept or willingly be her friend then your only option is, is to leave her be.
Mind you, it's not best to play this role of going back and forth between a friend and a guy, leave it between the 2 of them

[syang2012]

I would say BULLSHIT too. I'm pretty sure them two were probably hanging out together often for her to be able to be developing feelings towards him. Girls should know the rules; BFF's CRUSHES and EX BOYFRIENDS ARE OFF LIMITS. I understand how girls would accidentally fall in love or like a guy but there's always something that would lead her to that point. Hanging out one on one with him would lead to that point. Texting, flirting, talking, etcetc. would lead her to like him accidentally. I'm pretty sure girls should know themselves well enough to limit themselves from getting to close to a BFF's crush/ex boyfriend. There are boundaries ! I had a small situation that was similar to yours. I dated this guy for a very short period of time years back so he wasn't anybody that special to me. All of a sudden, one of my BFF came around to me and told me about this guy she was talking and to one out of a million billion gazilion chances ! It was my previous ex boyfriend. But I couldn't blame her, she didn't know we ever dated before after all, we dated for a short period of time. I wasn't exactly happy for her but, I supported her and told her to go for it. I felt kind of "betrayed" in the end because even though after I told her that we used to date, she continued to talk to him anyways. I couldn't help it but let her talk to him, but they never happened anyways because she met another guy. Lol, so we both talked about my ex boyfriend behind his back. No exactly "bad" stuff but just some details about him that we didn't like. The whole point of this story is, don't let any guy come between your friend and you. NO MAN IS WORTH LOSING A FRIEND.