Are you a jealous person?

[kaligirl001]

So I recently got a new job (so I haven't been on here much lately ) anyways I am 1 of 2 girls that work there out of about 15 employees total... Well I work the night shift with 3 guys, 2 are older but 1 is my age, the guy who is my age has a very insecure gf who hates the fact that he is working all night with a girl. She even shows up randomly in the middle of the night to make sure we don't do anything. She knows I have a bf that I am crazy about but that doesn't seen to make a difference to her. I'm not a jealous person and neither is my bf, for us we trust the other completely so what is there to be jealous for, it takes 2 people to mess around and we trust the other to not do anything.

So I was wondering, are any of you jealous people? If so why do you think you are?

[Vulcanoid]

I'm a reasonable person. If there's no reason to be jealous, then I'm certainly not jealous. If i know my gf is the flirty type and i see her talking, laughing, texting and calling some guys in the middle of the night, then yes, I'm jealous.

[Guardian7347]

By nature, I'm not a jealous person. If you're with me, I assume you prefer to be with me. She can be friends with her exes, have male friends, etc. Don't care. I've got female friends who I'm close with, and we're just friends, so it only makes sense that whoever I'm dating should get the same courtesy until proven otherwise. Do I sometimes have jealous moments anyway, sure. But they are neither frequent or regular.

[Soulkiss333]

Man I cant stand it when someone thinks you like or been with their bf as if you were even interested. Most of the time he isnt even my type, so please.

Anyway, I am a little jealous and I like my bfs to be a little jealous. I think a little is good, it makes me feel wanted by him and he cares who I am with or where I am at. However, I have had open-relationships and that never bothers me, careless if he goes to strip clubs, or even looks at other ladies as along as he is not being gross about it but my jealousy is weird it is usually over something little. Most of my jealousy involves ppl I am not in a relationship with. I think I am better now. Example: I remember being on the internet talking to ppl and having certain ppl I talk to everyday (long talks and discussions, doesnt really seem to happen very much anymore) anyway I looked forward to talking to these ppl everyday but sometimes I would get online and I saw they were talking a lot to another person, it would bothered me...and even at the time I knew it was crazy...it didnt matter if it was a guy or girl, age, where they were from. I didnt mind them talking to others but they were MY FRIEND MORE, just had to talk to me more!!! I would self doubt myself thinking I was boring them. But then they would see me online and come talk with me and I was happy again. I also get jealous when I am not the teacher's favorite. I like seeing ppl do good, but it makes me mad when someone gets more attention/praises than I do from the teacher esp if they only get attention because the had a hard life or they dont usually do good and this time they did better than excepted so they get the praises even tho My work was better. I know that is awful...I never act on those things, and a part of me is glad for them because they probably need more guidance than me, I am pretty self-motivated and I am only happy with As, I am not one of these ppl who is happy with a C because that is passing, a C would be unacceptable to me, there would be no way I would allow myself to get a C (and I am not what you call a smart person, A(s) I work for), and it just kills me when ppl get praise for a C, but we all are different, I am sure the teachers knows and has reason for it and I cant always get the credit, haha.

[LifeChanges]

I would say I'm not the jealous type. I do have my moments though. If I'm confident in the relationship it normally doesn't bother me to see him talking to other girls. I can tell the difference between harmless flirting as opposed to him coming on to her. Now that would make me jealous. I do get jealous when another female blatantly disregards our relationship status and makes a move on to him though. For instance, I was in the grocery store with my girl on my hip and my ex beside me. Two girls walked by and did a complete body check of him right in front of me. That pissed me off. I don't know whether it was wrong to be upset or not. I just felt disrespected, especially because I had my child with me.

[Oubliette]

I think there is a difference between feeling jealous and disrespected.

At any rate, I am more like Soulkiss. I tend to be more jealous about friendships. Any time I hear of my best friend hanging out with someone else more than me I get very disgruntled. I try not to act out, but I guess sometimes I come across as grumpy and petulant at times. I have actually done some really awful things to drive people away from my friends, especially if they don't like me or don't want to include me in things they do with my friend. When a friend (or even family member) gets a significant other I also tend to get jealous and possessive. I have had to get over that, though, since all of my siblings are now married. So yes, I am a very jealous person.

I don't know about in romantic relationships since I've never been in one; I have to do a lot more self improvement before I involve myself with someone else. However, I imagine I would get quickly jealous. I am very insecure. I think it's because growing up I lost a lot of friends who found a newer, cooler group to hang out with and they drifted away from me because I didn't 'fit' with them. I quickly sobered myself from forming superficial relationships and became very selective of who I spent time with. For this reason I have few friends, so the idea of losing just one of them terrified and angers me. If I were in a relationship I likely would live with that same terror every day. It wouldn't be because I don't trust my partner not to cheat, but because I don't have confidence that I can provide a fulfilling relationship and will soon be left behind for greener pastures.

[Guardian7347]

I think there is a difference between feeling jealous and disrespected.

At any rate, I am more like Soulkiss. I tend to be more jealous about friendships. Any time I hear of my best friend hanging out with someone else more than me I get very disgruntled. I try not to act out, but I guess sometimes I come across as grumpy and petulant at times. I have actually done some really awful things to drive people away from my friends, especially if they don't like me or don't want to include me in things they do with my friend. When a friend (or even family member) gets a significant other I also tend to get jealous and possessive. I have had to get over that, though, since all of my siblings are now married. So yes, I am a very jealous person.

I don't know about in romantic relationships since I've never been in one; I have to do a lot more self improvement before I involve myself with someone else. However, I imagine I would get quickly jealous. I am very insecure. I think it's because growing up I lost a lot of friends who found a newer, cooler group to hang out with and they drifted away from me because I didn't 'fit' with them. I quickly sobered myself from forming superficial relationships and became very selective of who I spent time with. For this reason I have few friends, so the idea of losing just one of them terrified and angers me. If I were in a relationship I likely would live with that same terror every day. It wouldn't be because I don't trust my partner not to cheat, but because I don't have confidence that I can provide a fulfilling relationship and will soon be left behind for greener pastures.

Very honest and insightful. Thank you for your frankness.

[kaligirl001]

Thanks for answering guys!!! Your answer's are great!!!
In my relationship I'm not a jealous person but when it comes to my siblings I can be sometimes. My sister is 9 years older than me and has done very well for herself, and it seems like my parents forget there is a huge gap between our ages and think I should be where she is in life and I'm not. So I get jealous of the attention she gets from my parents because she can do more than I can. I also get jealous of my brother because when I was little my parents got divorced and I only got to see my dad every other weekend, but my dad would want to work on his cars on the weekend, so my brother got involved and every time I tried to learn what they were doing my dad would tell me I was in the way and send me on my way to play in the house or something. So I got jealous of the time I always missed out on with my dad.

[Nostalgic]

In general I'm not a jelous type. There's one of hubby's friends that I'm jelous of. I'm still trying to work out why
We have a lot of trust in each other, maybe jealousy at times is normal due to underlying insecurities?

Your poor collegue though, that sounds more like crazy pshyco than jealousy.

[LifeChanges]

I think there is a difference between feeling jealous and disrespected.

Good point.

Kali, that's sad that your dad didn't involve you with his cars. I'm sorry to hear that.

[kaligirl001]

Your poor collegue though, that sounds more like crazy pshyco than jealousy.

Yeah, not sure what her deal is, I personally think she needs help... She will be really nice to him one minute and a complete bitch to him the next. But I have never had someone hate me as much as she does for working with her bf.

Kali, that's sad that your dad didn't involve you with his cars. I'm sorry to hear that.

Thanks, yeah it kinda sucked growing up, I never really got to know my dad like my brother and sister did... But on the plus side I am currently living with my dad until I can get a place closer to my new job and we have been getting to know each other a lot better, kinda making up for lost time. Its just weird, I havent lived with my dad for more than a week in almost 13 years.

[Oubliette]

Missing out like that with your father does sound difficult. It's hard when you try to form a bond with someone but are blocked.

Honesty is something I've had a hard time learning. However, there is little threat from people here due to the anonymity of the internet. Therefore, being straight forward and honest is not nearly as difficult as telling the truth to someone's face. I'm not going to pretend that I'd be this frank with friends or family, as much as I'd like to.

Jealousy and envy (I see them as slightly different, but have a hard time expressing the distinction in words people understand) run rampant through my life. There were people jealous of me, there were people I was jealous of, and I in my family I am not the only one who turns green with envy. It is very self destructive, and while it does tend to drive people away, in the end you are the one who loses out. I know this very well.

I forgot to mention how much I envied my older sister for so many things. She didn't get punished nearly as much as us; she was the 'good girl'. She seldom got in trouble because she had a way of fading into the background and not drawing attention to herself. She was stealthy, clever, talented, smart, and much more responsible. It wasn't the talent alone that drove me to want to steal these intangible things from her, but the fact that she was better than me in everything I took an interest in. The things I was good at, she was better. People said she was older, so of course. But I looked and compared out own milestones; at twelve she could draw much better than I did at twelve as an example. She was always better. She still is, but I have realized I have something she lacks; whilst she has the talent and technical skill, she isn't quite so creative.

So this is a further testament to my jealous disposition. So, who wants me?

[Jeff_in_Time]

No, I am not a jealous person.
There is a pettiness about jealousy that I don't like.

[Nostalgic]

I can agree to prettyness depending on the type of jealousy.

For me there's 3 types

1) your partner gives you reason in which case your better of leaving
2) crazy
3) insecurity in yourself.

Did I miss a type?

[JessicaBunny]

no. never have been. to me the worse kind of jealous is the kind you deny in yourself but point out in others. . . i think that type sees themselves in their own words. an online jealousy. . . how insecure do you have to be to do that.

[Guardian7347]

So this is a further testament to my jealous disposition. So, who wants me?

How you doin?

[Nostalgic]

no. never have been. to me the worse kind of jealous is the kind you deny in yourself but point out in others. . . i think that type sees themselves in their own words. an online jealousy. . . how insecure do you have to be to do that.

I Forgot that type "online jealousy" agree you would have to very insecure to experience that one.
And agree on your worst kind of jealousy.

[MissWong]

I would say no, I am not a jealous person, I have never felt that feeling with anyone I have dated. I have seen women in relationships and married and jealous of other single women not even around their husbands and boyfriends but around their male friends. That is very jealous if your male friends can not have girlfriends.

[hemasanghavi]

i m not at all a jealous person if i am in relation i know that person wants to be with me...
n we trust each other completely...after all thats the most imp thing u need in a relationship..

[irrevocably]

NOPE!

my ex and i wouldn't mind if i went out to clubs or if she went out either. freedom is very well needed in the relationship, but that's different from space.

[Nostalgic]

What's your difference between freedom and space?

I'm one who likes my own space
I wouldn't say hubby and I need space between us or space apart but we both like to have our personal space.
Freedom, we lost that when we had a baby as now we must and need to consult each others plans before going somewhere.
Example: I had to say no to a drink afterwork tomorrow because hubby already planned a drink with a friend.

The loss of that freedom doesn't bother me in the least as I love our little man and it's worth it

[irrevocably]

The loss of that freedom doesn't bother me in the least as I love our little man and it's worth it

i have a lot of respect for you Nostalgic. you're a great mother

as for me, space means - don't get clingy.
freedom means - don't restrict each other.

but what really puts these in order is respecting each others wishes.
i.e. she would say, "Stay away from strip clubs."
and they really don't catch my attention.
but even if they did, i would respect her wish, same as she would/should.

[Nostalgic]

Thx, he's an amazing little guy.

So basically we both agree, just have different definitions of space and freedom.

Clingy, well I would just avoid a relationship like that. My ex was rather clingy and possessive, it's no fun at all!

[irrevocably]

Thx, he's an amazing little guy.

So basically we both agree, just have different definitions of space and freedom.

Clingy, well I would just avoid a relationship like that. My ex was rather clingy and possessive, it's no fun at all!

lol i know exactly what you mean.
i had a friend talk to me the other day about how she wished she never got married so young.
she's 22 and has a kid.
her husband doesn't even let her have gfs!
smh. but it isn't his fault - he's insecure because his mom puts ideas in his head about her which is just... wow!

[Nostalgic]

It's sad when people fall into that trap. I was in one for just over a year with my ex.
I didn't leave sooner out of fear of hurting him
We can all be stupid at times I guess but I don't regret the relationship. I learnt a lot from that bad experience.

[sayuri]

Im typically not a jealous person unless im given reason to be jealous... Like if he's been with his buddies more than he's been with me... But my bf and i trust each other, I trust that he's not gonna do anything to not be trustworthy, and i couldnt imagine doing something that would betray his trust

[Nostalgic]

I think being with buddies more than you is an insecurity rather than jelousy?