What does he want from me??

[lostgurl1025]

So my boyfriend and I recently split up (7 weeks ago) and we have a 21 month old son. When we did split up he didn't want me to move out. Instead we slept in separate rooms. We have been best friends for 7 years and have dated on and off for the last 4 years. I finally moved out of our house 3 1/2 weeks after we split up. What I don't understand is that he says he doesn't want us to be in a relationship but we still do stuff together, with and with out our son. I see or talk to him almost every single day. We spend weekends together and sometimes it's just the two of us. And now we have complicated our relationship again by having sex. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster and don't know the outcome. He doesn't want us to date but we spend a lot of time together and every time a guy calls my phone and he is around he makes sure who ever is on the phone hears him talking and knows that we are hanging out. This is all really confusing and I really don't know what to do because I really do love him and want to be with him. I just don't understand his way of thinking when it comes to our relationship. Has anybody been through something like this before? Does any guy have a better point of view on this?

[Vulcanoid]

It's just a wiiiiiiiiillllllddddd guess, but i'm thinking he want's to stay with the baby, and you just happen to be around as well, ready for sex.

[Guardian7347]

lol not so wild, and not really a guess V, but you pretty much nailed it on the head.

He no longer wants to be with you, but he's having a had time moving you out of the "mine" catagory. If you're still willing to have sex with him, why should he want to push you away and move on, after all, this arrangement works pretty well for him.

[lml]

sex.

[sayuri]

As the others have stated, he is not out of the mine phase, and might be trying to control you using sex, kinda like that phrase "If i can't have you then nobody can." Obviously you can't fully cut him out of your life because you have a baby together, but perhaps maybe you should make it clear that either you want to be in a relationship, or that you want him to stop toying with your emotions, and if its the latter then you must be firm in saying that.. Hope the advice helps!

[Justified]

As the others have stated, he is not out of the mine phase, and might be trying to control you using sex, kinda like that phrase "If i can't have you then nobody can." Obviously you can't fully cut him out of your life because you have a baby together, but perhaps maybe you should make it clear that either you want to be in a relationship, or that you want him to stop toying with your emotions, and if its the latter then you must be firm in saying that.. Hope the advice helps!

That is good advice. Having his cake and eating it too is another saying that fits here. You seem upset and pleased all in one over this because you still get the man you love around you, even though he does not want you as his girlfriend, only is FWB. imho.

[irrevocably]

i see it 2 ways -
1. if you wanna keep things going the way they are, and you don't mind... then play him at his game, see other guys and what not.
2. leave him. if it causes you pain, leave him. he'll come crawling back to you - how do i know? well if he didn't love you then he wouldn't keep you around,
you just have to open his eyes to what's in front of him.

-A good loving and caring woman, and a beautiful son. You guys have a family, he needs some ALONE time to figure that out and learn to cherish it. Hope this helps and be strong!