Penny for your thoughts?

by **MandaPantz13** on Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:22 am

wow, hardcore stuff guys, its really full on! Thats one of the things I liek about dream moods, whenever I come on here to whittle away my thoughts, I read about you guys and suddenly my problems seem pathetic next to you guys. Kinda puts things in perspective. But I do hope you all get happy soon.

Penny for my thoughts aye??/

Well I'm slightly hungover ...ok quite hungover cos i went out drinking last night and prob made an ass of myself again! lol. I have have several gyus who have crushes on me and although one is supernice and prob 2 years ago when we were good friends I would've dated him but now we're both just out of bad breakups and not ready for anything so at least we're on the same level. i cant stop thinking about him, last night i had a dream where I was getting married to some guy I didnt love but i thought i did. I remember sittnig there at the recpetion in my white gown and looking up and seeing his face in the crowd and thinking...fuck what have i done? I dont love this man, and i threw the lid off my drink and ran out. My head is very confused all im getting is hearsay form everyone and i just wanna talk to HIm and sort it all out so i know instead of reading these stupid other signs. Blugh my head hurts..im going to bed.

by **Phoenix** on Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:25 pm

Pyrocensored wrote:oh holy sh*t that sucks...

and one of the teachers overheard the fight, and it eventually took the Resource Officer to break it up... He did decide to press charges, but im out after 24 hours... (took three days cuz they had me till the hearing, which im surprised came that quick)...

hooray for justice ^.^
______________________

There is one problem tho... I just cant get the bloodstain out of my favorite pants

Well Pyro, let that stain serve as a reminder to you that violence isnt the only option to solve problems!!! ::I smack you playfully on your arm::: You gotta be careful!! And don't worry me like that again, you hear??

by **Pyrocensored** on Sun Feb 15, 2009 8:37 pm

alright... ill try to stay good...

and manda:

lol, im not a "tough guy". I only fight when I have to, and he had it coming. there wasnt a teacher in the school (exept for the principal, SRO, and one of those "peace" teachers... that thinks that nobody deserves unnecesary phisical punishment no matter what) that thought he didnt deserve it.

by **MandaPantz13** on Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:28 am

Pyrocensored wrote:alright... ill try to stay good...

and manda:

lol, im not a "tough guy". I only fight when I have to, and he had it coming. there wasnt a teacher in the school (exept for the principal, SRO, and one of those "peace" teachers... that thinks that nobody deserves unnecesary phisical punishment no matter what)

Lol yeh Im the same, sorry when i say hardcore its means like wow unreal, its my latest slang term that I have been using a lot

haha i dont actually mean wow thats so tough. but yeh im glad u dont usually resort to violence

by **Phoenix** on Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:50 am

I'm thinking when i go to school tomorrow all hell is gonna break loose cause i am looking hot with my new red highlights in my hair and poor Billy isnt gonna know what hit him... sigh.. I am feeling way too naughty to be anywhere near that sweet wonderful man but I can't help myself.. somebody save me from myself!!!!

by **MandaPantz13** on Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:22 am

Well me and my mates are all gonna move to Tahiti and open a bar there so we can watch hot tourists and drink at the same time...so we can come via america and save u form urself

I think I've been overdoing the whole vampires thing, with he books, n movies and games, cos last night i dreamt i was a vampire and i killed my uncle (who is awesome and i hold nothing bad against!)

by **Phoenix** on Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:46 pm

Well today pretty much sucked. Billy was out sick today but we still communicated a lot through texts and email. So he didnt get to see my hot new hairdo. I'm thinking I need to either get over these feelings for him or sit down with him and confess all- tell him how I feel. I need to do something, I can't let things continue the way they are or I am gonna do something reckless like go out and screw some random stranger. And I am really not that type of person, as much as I act totally perverted on this site. I am really a good, sensitive intelligent person with lots of goals and dreams who really has no business acting like a whore online.

by **greenhavoc** on Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:21 pm

im thinking i should have started this new video game on normal difficulty,instead i went for hard and now I'm 2 levels away from a 50g achievement and i cant beat this big ugly wolf demon.lord,why do you hate me so?

by **Phoenix** on Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:06 am

Go for it green, challenge yourself! Think outside the box

by **MandaPantz13** on Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:35 pm

I feel invisible.

by **Phoenix** on Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:38 pm

Manda, You're not. ::hugs::: :cupcake:

by **MandaPantz13** on Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:42 pm

nawww thanks Phoenix, I get bad days and I get good days, lately there has been more bad then good. Its nice to know someone cares. :cheers:

by **AmyyOox** on Thu Feb 19, 2009 5:12 pm

Phoenix wrote:
Pyrocensored wrote:oh holy sh*t that sucks...

and one of the teachers overheard the fight, and it eventually took the Resource Officer to break it up... He did decide to press charges, but im out after 24 hours... (took three days cuz they had me till the hearing, which im surprised came that quick)...

hooray for justice ^.^
______________________

There is one problem tho... I just cant get the bloodstain out of my favorite pants

Well Pyro, let that stain serve as a reminder to you that violence isnt the only option to solve problems!!! ::I smack you playfully on your arm::: You gotta be careful!! And don't worry me like that again, you hear??

Omg 'Pyro you KILLED someone !! :shock:

by **Pyrocensored** on Thu Feb 19, 2009 5:49 pm

AmyyOox wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
Pyrocensored wrote:oh holy sh*t that sucks...

and one of the teachers overheard the fight, and it eventually took the Resource Officer to break it up... He did decide to press charges, but im out after 24 hours... (took three days cuz they had me till the hearing, which im surprised came that quick)...

hooray for justice ^.^
______________________

There is one problem tho... I just cant get the bloodstain out of my favorite pants

Well Pyro, let that stain serve as a reminder to you that violence isnt the only option to solve problems!!! ::I smack you playfully on your arm::: You gotta be careful!! And don't worry me like that again, you hear??

Omg 'Pyro you KILLED someone !!

lol... no, it was just what happens as a result of an obviously unfair fight... I didnt kill him... I was just extra persuasive on what not to say in front of me...

by **Phoenix** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 2:41 am

MandaPantz13 wrote:nawww thanks Phoenix, I get bad days and I get good days, lately there has been more bad then good. Its nice to know someone cares.

Yeah, Manda, it's nice all right. Even if you're not sure if it is as a friend or something more, it is still really really nice. I never should have started drinking tonight. Now i feel messed up as hell and I can't think straight.

Do I love him?

by **MandaPantz13** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:34 am

Wow phoenix! I dunno what to say to that. I guess you can't do anything but follow your heart :heartpump:

But your wishful thinking for my job interview the other day made it happen...cos I got the job! I start monday..I'm really excited. So Thank you!

And just letting you know even tho I'm far away, Im still here if you wanna talk ::hugs::

by **Phoenix** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:32 pm

MandaPantz13 wrote:Wow phoenix! I dunno what to say to that. I guess you can't do anything but follow your heart
But your wishful thinking for my job interview the other day made it happen...cos I got the job! I start monday..I'm really excited. So Thank you!

And just letting you know even tho I'm far away, Im still here if you wanna talk ::hugs::

Hey Manda, your the best

Congrats on getting the job!! I am just gonna continue to do what I have been doing... roll with it. Tonight will be interesting. Gonna both be at the coffeehouse together. I have butterflies thinking about it. :tongue:

by **Lillith** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:04 pm

I need to get a stupid song out of my head but it won't go away........................... :evil:

by **AmyyOox** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:23 pm

Lillith wrote:I need to get a stupid song out of my head but it won't go away...........................

Hit yourself round the head with a brick;
That way you'll never remember it agian

by **Lillith** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:34 pm

LOL!!!

Think i might..............its not even something i would listen to!!!

:blowingkisses:

by **MandaPantz13** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:20 pm

LOL Phoenix thats the best idea... just go with the flow and see what happens...I'm excited for yuo both meeting up but :evil:

haha

Lillith- the best way to get a song out of your head...is to play it again. like put headphones on or something and just play it. that always works for me

and my thoughts go something like this ....

by **Pyrocensored** on Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:44 pm

MandaPantz13 wrote:LOL Phoenix thats the best idea... just go with the flow and see what happens...I'm excited for yuo both meeting up but haha

Lillith- the best way to get a song out of your head...is to play it again. like put headphones on or something and just play it. that always works for me

and my thoughts go something like this ....

You have a rather "interesting" train of thought...

by **MandaPantz13** on Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:38 am

lol yeh too many things running through my head some much diff stuff happening at once I'm a bit confused whihc to feel so I'm kinda feeling them all at once haha

by **Lillith** on Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:39 am

Interesting concept, but alas, I couldn't punish my brain cells by doing such a thing!!!!

They are too precious to me.

I think I'll try something more trustworthy...............................like a train perhaps???? :rofl:

by **dabiatch** on Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:45 pm

I am thinking how incredibly slow this forum is on the day I decide to come to it.

by **Phoenix** on Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:18 am

I am thinking about how desperately I want him to gather me up in his arms and hold me close.. I want him to look at me with his beautiful, warm, honest eyes and smile, caress my cheek and kiss me.

I am thinking it would be smarter to not let him know how i feel cause I am not free to feel this way, and I am thinking that maybe what I really need is to find a good fuck buddy and spend a night getting some sexual satisfaction so I don't wind up doing or saying something that will hurt him.

by **MandaPantz13** on Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:26 am

I feel like the universe is giving me signs. I am constantly reminded of him in ways you cannot imagine. Everything in this world, is pointing my thoughts towards him...I knwo this is a normal side of break ups but i cant help but wonder if this is all a sign that i shoudlnt forget him. that i shouldnt give up on him. But i cant even talk to him. I dont know when exactly he'll be back, or for how long, or when he gets back if he'll feel the same for me. or if he thinking of me at all. I have never felt this way about a person before, never been this obsessed and its annoying me cos i desperatley want to talk about something else, think about anything else but i cant. and it hurts. and i feel bad for ppl around me cos i know they dont want to hear me constantly mope and talk about him, and i know it hurts for them to see me so...empty/hollow but i cant help it. ugh that feels better jjust to say it all.

by **Phoenix** on Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:08 pm

MandaPantz13 wrote:I feel like the universe is giving me signs. I am constantly reminded of him in ways you cannot imagine. Everything in this world, is pointing my thoughts towards him...I knwo this is a normal side of break ups but i cant help but wonder if this is all a sign that i shoudlnt forget him. that i shouldnt give up on him. But i cant even talk to him. I dont know when exactly he'll be back, or for how long, or when he gets back if he'll feel the same for me. or if he thinking of me at all. I have never felt this way about a person before, never been this obsessed and its annoying me cos i desperatley want to talk about something else, think about anything else but i cant. and it hurts. and i feel bad for ppl around me cos i know they dont want to hear me constantly mope and talk about him, and i know it hurts for them to see me so...empty/hollow but i cant help it. ugh that feels better jjust to say it all.

I hear ya Manda. I know what its like. Interestingly enough, once I stopped obsessing over Armando and was all crazy with this crush on Billy, I realized that no man can ever ever be in control of my happiness again. My happiness is in MY control and no one elses. And ironically enough, Armando has started writing me again. Go figure. I finally think I am capable of being happy all on my own and independant and free and he contacts me again. It's like he sensed I was my own whole person again that was strong enough to go after my own happiness without depending on anyone for it.

I feel like I am going through so many changes right now. Changes that will make me a better, stronger person and that feels good. I am not afraid anymore.

by **MandaPantz13** on Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:57 am

^^ Im so proud of you phoenix!! good luck baby cakes!!

Im really happy cos im drinkinig bourbon and talking with an old mate who i kinda lost contact with who is going through the same sorta shit as me so its really nice

by **Phoenix** on Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:29 pm

I'm happy cause I am gonna get drunk tonight and I am practicing non attachment. And somehow, I am gonna be on a "work" date with Billy saturday and we are gonna get to see a funny play together. and I know he likes me. and i like him. i am rooollllling with it haha!! I have my own personal bubble with the zipper on the inside.. only people that get "inside" are the people i "let" in

by **MandaPantz13** on Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:47 am

Im thinking that i have never been so scared in my life, cos on sat i was almsot involved in a serious car accident cos someone dickhead cut me off and he had a trailor, im lucky cos all i got out of it is a fucked ankle. but jeebus it shook me to my core.

so now im having a drink, cranking the tunes and contemplating the world. and thinking....

i also just found out i can send a letter to him on the boats....but i dunno because of that dream where his sister appeared and told me to stop trying to contact him. whether it only applied in dreams or whther it meant wait for him to come home before we talk. dunno so im thinking about that too.

by **Pyrocensored** on Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:09 pm

I'm just thinking how much things have changed over the past year... Just thinking how I was then, and how I am now...

i just don't know weather those things are for good or for bad. Ive lost good friends, ive made new ones. I mean, Ive made some pretty good life choices over the past few years, like for example I used to smoke about 1 1/2 years ago, and quit. I just miss how things used to be back then (exept for that one little detail). I used to not have a care in the world, however now it seems as if I am balancing the world on my shoulders. I just need to find some time to sort things out. Every second of my life is consumed otherwise.

Life is too short.

Shit happens.

Don't drink the water in Mexico, unless you enjoy pissing blood for a week.

(Ive never done that, but Ive heard about it...)

by **Lillith** on Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:45 pm

SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:ecstatic:

by **MandaPantz13** on Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:19 am

by **Lillith** on Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:21 am

by **Phoenix** on Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:12 pm

So i saw Billy today with the rest of my breakfast club friends and I realized anything i felt for him more than friendship was just a crush, cause its all gone. Nothing. He's just a nice sweet boy I had a crush on.. I am so glad I didn't pursue that one too much. Would have been wierd otherwise. And then I got a text this morning from this guy that had me giggling my ass off and so Haley (one of my friends at the table) says I have a mischievious grin.. lol she has no idea!!
I think I am finally able to recognize the difference between the men and the boys hehe

by **MandaPantz13** on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:16 am

my thoughts r all full of him. and how i cant have him. ever.

and how we talked so much last night about so many things and how he really opened up to me...and how all i wanted was to hold him close and to tell him it would be ok. and how he sounded so lost and scared and unhappy and im really worried about him.

and im thinking how angry at myself i am for letting myself get this obsessed over it all, how i read into everything how i belived drunken txt messages and how i cant seem to get over him.

by **Aurora** on Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:47 am

I'm thinking about what my next poem will be about and also why am I having a major case of writer's block.

by **Phoenix** on Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:51 pm

Manda, In my experience, people in general tend to be more HONEST when they are drunk.. and a hell of a lot less inhibited. So wtf, sounds like he's denying his true feelings to me. give him time and be his friend. ROLL WITH IT. It will work out with him or someone better will come along. Just be open to whatever happens.

by **loved22** on Wed Mar 11, 2009 1:49 am

I'm thinking of what i will come up with for my anniversary :heartpump:

by **Phoenix** on Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:26 pm

Im thinking that I am in a real chatty mood and enjoy hanging out online talking but I should really be doing homework or researching stuff for my book. The problem is I am bored with studying and just want to relax and have fun. I need some good tunes to study to, so i think I'm gonna go surf youtube for awhile and get in the mood to wreak some distruction in the pages of my book, muahahaha.

by **Lillith** on Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:23 am

I would but its too complicated to even try and firgure out....................................

by **MandaPantz13** on Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:58 am

my thoughts are that today is a down day and i hope tomorrow is an up one...i need it grr i hate having more down then up days. stupid ppl messing with my heads, cos i let them!

by **Phoenix** on Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:52 pm

Manda,

I hope you are feeling better. Keep the faith and stay strong; if I can do it, so can you girl! ::hugs::

I am thinking that the time home alone was well spent hehehe. Now I am thinking I need to get back to work preparing for this last dreaded hell week of the quarter haha. I wish I had some chocolate and mikes hard cranberry lemonaide- perfect studying food

by **MandaPantz13** on Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:45 pm

lol cheers phoenix im just sick of the ups n downs and i wish i could just get it back on trak n move on. i have no reason to dwell on it anymore. bah.

I hope your studying goes well, it sounds like your as much into studying atm as im into cleaning my room

blugh. just keep thinking only one more week then you can relax and have more alone at home time

hehe

by **Phoenix** on Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:06 am

Yeah my studying today has totally sucked. All i have wanted to do is chat and i am sooo bad for that!! I should go and get back to it. but god i really am having a hard time focusing.

by **MandaPantz13** on Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:18 am

i know what you mean, im really distracted but i dont mind cos im having a good day, so im taking advantage of it ahaha!

BTW question: is chocolate still considered unhealthy if its has nuts in them (like peanuts or something im not sure wat they r exactly)

by **Lillith** on Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:26 am

Has the boiler man just tried to con me out of £120????????????????

For his sake I hope not...........................

by **MandaPantz13** on Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:49 pm

by **Phoenix** on Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:40 pm

So I survived my science final, and found out I got a 4.0 in PE class (I was the only one in the class that lost 2 inches off my body haha) and now all I have to do is survive my Literature class. Then I need to get ready for my trip to the midwest and catch up on my articles and I will be smooth sailing.. the classes next quarter should hopefully be easy enough for me to coast into the graduation line up.

Now its job hunting time and freedom time and god I want some satisfaction time, lol!!