Tell all your horrible, distasteful jokes here!

[Cimerax]

My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath.
I suppose I should wait until she gets out.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?

Disabled toilets.
Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

Statistically speaking...
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.


You know you want to.

[RibZ]

The Dalai Lama is on the board for my employer. Yesterday, a guest said that he knew someone named Dolly, but couln''t remember her last name. Knowing it was awful, I said, "Well, we know it isn't Lama."

[The Kid In The Hat]

My School Project is due in three days, and I haven't even started.
I put the pro in procrastinate.

[ammunition]

My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath.
I suppose I should wait until she gets out.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?

Disabled toilets.
Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

Statistically speaking...
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.


You know you want to.

The second and last are....

[Justified]

There are so many I could tell in here and they'd all be looked at disapprovingly.

What do you call an epileptic in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

That is all you get, this forum seems to tame for anything more.

[The Kid In The Hat]

My girlfriend called me a pedophile today........Big Words for a Five Year Old.

[Seale]

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
...He was hit by a truck.

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What's white on top and black on bottom?
...Society.

What's black on top and white on bottom?
...Rape.

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Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

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A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.
Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a huge dick like that."




You wanted horrible, you wanted distasteful... WELL THERE YA' HAVE IT.

[The Kid In The Hat]

Why did the boy touch the road?
His mother said, "It's time to hit the road."

What does a dice say when he sees something bad is about to happen?
"Holy Craps."

What does a dog say when he sees something bad is about to happen?
"Holy Shih Tzu."

[Justified]

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

Good one!

[jupitercat410]

What do you get when you cross and owl, with a bungee chord?
.........
My ass.

[St. Dymphna]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

[CharlieRose]

My School Project is due in three days, and I haven't even started.
I put the pro in procrastinate.

That's not distasteful, it's just true. (And by that i mean that i should probably get started on my paper...)

Anyway, here you go:

How do chinese people name their children?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs!
Ching Chang Chong!

[jupitercat410]

Two peanuts were walking down the street.
One was a salted.
XD XD XD XD

[The Cat Whisperer]

Why is Tigger dirty?

Because he plays with Pooh.