Do I have a problem?

[JaymeTaylorGriffin]

This is so embarrassing really it is. I'm not sure where to begin.
I know I'm mentally able to handle whatever is wrong with me. I just feel really stupid.

I often see ignorant people going around saying they're anorexic. I don't want to be like one of those people.
I don't want you to think I'm doing this to get pity. I just think I have a problem. Every time I look up a dream now, all the dream symbols tell me I have a mental problem that's getting in the way with me living my life happily. Blah blah..

Here's the thing. I don't eat. I don't like to eat. If I do eat, I pick at everything I put in my mouth. If I were to eat pizza I would pick off the cheese & throw the bread away. I don't eat sweets. I don't eat bread. I don't like the feeling of being full. It makes me feel sad. It makes me feel guilty. Right when I wake up I feel abdominal pains. Hunger pains I'm guessing? So I drink coffee so I will feel full & not have to eat.

If I do happen to eat, I will binge down ice cream & every other soft food I can find & go to the bathroom & throw it all right back up. I don't eat bread simply because you can't purge bread.

Some days I won't even leave the house because I am feeling fat. People tell me I look great, & I'm losing so much weight. So why do I feel so fat? I don't even get on the scale anymore. Because if I do, & I notice I gain even one pound, I don't eat, drink & I stay in bed all day long.

I know I can't sleep. I never tell anyone If I haven't eaten all day.. Some days I have major irritability. My mood swings are awful. I hate eating in public. My periods are so not normal. My hair falls out quite often. I will brush my hair & balls & balls of hair will cover the spiky plates of it. I often will have terrible abdominal pains. My skin is so dry all the time! I'm so cold when I wake up & just sometimes during the day. But even though all this is happening I just can't stop..

I think I have a problem. I wouldn't generally say "I'm an anorexic." Or "I'm bulimic" Because I'm not. I'm not sure what the problem is. I think I need help. I don't want to tell anyone. Because I'm quite embarrassed of this. I don't want to tell people about my problem if there isn't even a problem, maybe I just take my dieting seriously?

Who do you go to for this kind of problem anyway? A therapist? I don't know..

[JessicaBunny]

weird periods, dry skin and hair falling out is because you are not getting the vitamins and minerals and nutrients you need to get in the food you should be but are not eating or throwing up if you do eat. . . you need a good multi vitamin, maybe energy supplement drinks to start off and go to a dr or dietician. it could be another issue from your past causing this too, mental/ emotional and that is where a therapist would help. . . you need to make appointments to talk to someone and buy a multi vitamin and take it, drink enough water too, so you don't dehydrate more.

[JenT]

Please talk to a doctor. Having feelings of guilt from being full signals an issue as does hair falling out etc. anorexia and bulimia can go hand in hand.
I'm not going to give medical advice because you really need to follow a doctors advice but I will say this- everybody, every single person on earth has something "wrong" with them. I put it in quotes because it is not really wrong and certainly not bad. It is just what you were put on the planet to deal with. Maybe you were also put here to get better and then use your story of recovery to save someone else's life. Please get help because I really think your experience will eventually be neede to save the life of another person.

[Karengonzalez]

everything will be okay. just relax

[HazyFantayzee]

I think if you target fixing the physical problems that the emotional ones become less on their own.

try talking to someone you can trust. food is good. you will never gain an unhealthy amount of weight for as long as you burn more than you consume. x

[paulo]

your in control of what you eat ! do you want to live , then you must eat if you dont then death is not far away, again your in control (sorry to sound unsypathetic but your the only one who can help you)