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New poem

PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 10:53 am
by Reveldevil48
Here's a new poem I'll try to keep it simple

Raindrops
By Chelsey

Raindrops fall
On my head
In my hair

I love the sound
Like drumbeats
When raindrops fall

Raindrops fall
From sky to ground
Washing the earth

A little longer than last one. Enjoy

Re: New poem

PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 11:20 am
by Sosaxolicious
I love rain!

Reveldevil48 wrote:Here's a new poem I'll try to keep it simple

Raindrops
By Chelsey

Raindrops fall
On my head
In my hair Nice meter in this stanza, all three lines have the same rhythm. However you already said they fall on your head which implies on your hair, something like "raindrops falling/upon my head/adorn my hair"

I love the sound
Like drumbeats
When raindrops fall I would switch the second and third lines of this stanza, placing a : at the end of the second line. for the third line, resembling drumbeats, like that of drumbeats, etc.

Raindrops fall
From sky to ground
Washing the earth This last line needs to have a bigger impact.

A little longer than last one. Enjoy

It's been raining here the past few days. My family even took a walk in the rain on Thanksgiving. You couldn't have posted this at a better time :)

Re: New poem

PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 11:38 am
by Reveldevil48
Thank you and yeah I should've switched those lines was going to but didn't I'm itching to write one more so bear with me

Untitled
By Chelsey

Rain comes and goes
Like clouds
Moving across the sky
It falls in a delicate sheet
Covering the ground
Like a blanket

Soft as silk
Heavy as snow
Thin as air
Rain comes and goes
Like thunder
Dancing in the sky

Another long one. Enjoy

Re: New poem

PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 5:31 pm
by Sheena
Who puts a blanket on wet ground?
Are you having a picnic?