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Human

Post your stories, songs and poetry or review/recommend a book.

Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Mon Oct 12, 2015 8:56 pm

My story isn't of anything heroic or historic. It is merely a set of lessons that I have learned in my life. The world doesn't have black and white. Instead there are shades of grey, and even purple. Our lives are what we make it. The world is interpreted by our perception. Therefore it is our world. And there are many different versions of how the world is made. Or how people learn lessons in life. We are all on a different time line. We all have different problems. How we perceive them is based on our own reality. There is nothing anyone can do or say to make that change. No matter what we try to do. No matter what we say or even how we feel. We are irreversibly, irrevocably, human.
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Re: Human

Postby pisces_dreamer » Mon Oct 12, 2015 9:03 pm

:clap:
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Mon Oct 12, 2015 9:52 pm

Lesson 1: Accountability

People dictate that this person or that person is responsible for what happens in this world. The reality is, however, that every single person on this planet has responsibility. Because whatever happens to you...trickles down on someone else. Like a thread. We're all connected. We're all role models for each other. The first time I had responsibility was when I was 11 years old. My granddad's place was cluttered unto disrepair. There was nothing I felt like I could do but lie to my peers and the school counselor. Yet there were people who dealt with much more in life. There were people in cities who dealt with gang violence at 11 years old. There were others who lost valuable people in their lives. They needed sanctity. But all they got was woe. My boyfriend lost his mother to cancer. I lost my mother to close. At least I can get her back. Life isn't always fair. But it teaches you to be humble. Because no one ever knows what will happen. What could happen. What mistakes you make that could be the result of something sinister.
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Mon Oct 12, 2015 9:58 pm

What caused the clutter? One might ask, as they watch, "Hoarders, Buried Alive" On TV. Hoarders, is a fucking joke. Hoarding, on the other hand, was something else entirely. It's holding one to a part of your life that has long since past. It's holding on to that loved one that will never be in existence again. It's holding on to a life that was never meant to be. It's repression. Depression. All in one. It's dissociation from a reality that one must eventually face. But instead that is replaced by things...and those things consume you. It swallows you whole. Until you are nothing else but trash. White fucking trash...
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Mon Oct 12, 2015 10:47 pm

Upon meeting these new vermin, I realized they need to die in a special way. In a new fashion that would cause them to suffer to the cataclysm of their futile understanding. These blood suckling creatures needed to be extinct. There was no other inconceivable way any human could survive then for them to die. Their very existence was meant to suck the life out of others. They leak into your bed first, then your dressers, your walls, floors, clothes. Until there is nothing left. Thousands of them lay dormant, until nightfall. One has to sleep some time, they say...I'll strike then, they say...Well little do they know that there will be a little agonized girl who hopes that every single one of those little greedy fuckers die....to some, a bed bug is a bed bug....to others, it represents the far fallacies of humanity...all we do is suck the life out of things...like a bug...like a parasite.
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Tue Oct 13, 2015 7:16 pm

Not long after looking at these things, I realized that they weren't the only abomination I had ever seen. Humans act the same way toward the planet. We suck it dry and we will continue to do so until there is nothing left. Just like what they're doing to mom. Our lives are compartmentalized by a TV box and we're blinded to the reality that exists. This is designed to make us feel as though we aren't accountable for our actions. But we are. I am accountable for not getting back to the task at hand. I'm accountable for the double shot of whiskey I am currently consuming. And yes, I am accountable for the little snot nosed brat that I was when I was little. I was 11 when the first incident occurred. An entire house, which was at one point neat and clean. My granddad had been living. He instilled kindness in everyone. Even to the people who weren't kind to him. He did everything he could, for the collective. Then one day, everything changed. He no longer could do what he need for everyone. But instead those had to work to keep him healthy. They served him his food and did everything they could to keep him alive. But it just wasn't enough. He died of a heart attack before I was born. My mom would tell me childhood stories of him. As I talked to her, I'd see the bile and dirt disappearing around me. I lived in a foot of trash and I can still say my mother had raised me well. She didn't do any drugs. She fed me. Bathed me. Kept me from harm. Explained things to me. Taught me everything she possibly could...and yet everyone who hears that I've lived in a foot of garbage says that my mom was unfit. Her father had just died. No one should forget that....And as my 11 year old self. I did. After living for years in trash, I lost it. I refused to help clean the mess that I helped cause by not cleaning myself. I hated everything about my mother and father after everything they tried to do. I resented my own family. And therefore when the foreclosure happened. I did nothing to help them clean the massive piles of garbage that had consumed our lives. I lied to the mean bullies who picked on me for having so many trash bags on my porch. They were antiques that the cat knocked over...that's why there are so many bags...damn cat.
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Tue Oct 13, 2015 7:27 pm

There is someone very special to me that I would like to add into this story. He's the hero type, ya know. The person that keeps my sanity. The person who lacks judgment and can see into me. He has always had my back. Since the day that I stumbled into his doorstep and took a crash on his recliner. He will now say whatever he'd like:
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Tue Oct 13, 2015 8:22 pm

Okay so maybe he won't right away but some time in the near future. He will say something in this Post. All I have to say is one word. One word to describe everything that is going on in my life right now. It started from the day I stumbled into my boyfriend's doorstep and crashed on his recliner...Karma...Karma is what is happening to me. I must make up for this karma. Karma that I had for all the things I had done to the people around me. Karma for every wrong action I had made. Karma for all of the fake smiles I had given to people simply because I thought my own opinion didn't matter. Karma...Karma everywhere.
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Sun Oct 18, 2015 2:06 pm

In an instant, it was like all the progress I had achieved was lost. After working for days and hours at a time, I found myself in a giant bubble. Everything around me looked dirtier than it really was. I started cleaning the downstairs and I had cleared off one side of the dining room. I just needed to get to the desk and that basket of clothes in the bathroom. I felt the urgency in my mind. Everything had to be clean...everything. My uncle told me to not to touch two piles of papers...but those two piles were in my way. After seeing everything go, I just wanted to end it. That was all I could think about. No more trash or piles of paper..no dust. Nothing but a nice, clean, crisp. I flipped. We argued. Suddenly, I saw everything from the old house piling in. There was nothing I could do in my own head. We continued to argue when suddenly I was on the floor, shaking, holding onto my hair. The pen that I had been using to file papers ended up in my hands. I felt the initial shock as the pen hit my leg. I saw it piercing through in my own head. I looked at the pen and immediately threw it out of my sight. I slowly found myself losing my sanity. I wanted to tell everyone everything, but I lacked the words. Now, here I sit. Scratches up and down my arms, bruised leg and a bruised hand from where I hit the wall with my fists...needless to say. I need a break.
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Re: Human

Postby Sheena » Thu Nov 26, 2015 1:19 pm

The ambiguity of place, character and relationship are appealing in this paragraph. But the masochism is a total turn-off.
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Sun Dec 13, 2015 9:10 pm

Real life isn't supposed to be a turn on, dipshit.
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Re: Human

Postby Sheena » Mon Dec 14, 2015 10:28 am

That grandiose contempt is a marker for narcissistic shame: The piece of shit at the center of the universe.
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Re: Human

Postby pisces_dreamer » Mon Dec 14, 2015 7:49 pm

You have 3042 posts of purely negative contribution, and you talk narcissistic shame? So sad.
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Re: Human

Postby ToBeHuman » Tue Dec 15, 2015 8:50 pm

All of you just need to go to hell and crawl under the metaphorically diseased hole you came out of.
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Re: Human

Postby Sheena » Wed Dec 16, 2015 4:45 pm

Crawling out of disease would be a benediction for greater comfort.
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Re: Human

Postby pisces_dreamer » Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:53 pm

ToBeHuman wrote:All of you just need to go to hell and crawl under the metaphorically diseased hole you came out of.


Tf did i do
:nodding:
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Re: Human

Postby Sheena » Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:52 pm

Humanus sum. Nihil humanum alienum a me puto.
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Re: Human

Postby martinakrystal » Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:20 am

Hello
I am human not a robot.

___________________________
Web Solution Locus Rags in UK.
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Re: Human

Postby Sheena » Wed Nov 22, 2017 3:04 pm

Too bad. As a machine we might like you better.
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