This is driving me insane.

[kaywalsk]

I recently had a dream that I cannot get out of my mind, this is strange because it's been years since I had a dream that I remembered, let-alone as clearly as this one. I'd like to start off by telling you something about my personality, if something doesn't make crystal-clear sense to me, I like to think about it until I can make sense of it, and if I can't make sense of something, it will plague my mind until I eventually do, which is what brings me here, this dream:

I was set up on a blind-date by some guy I didn't recognize, the date was to take place at a rock show, the female and I weren't quite into it, so we ended up talking in the back by ourselves for what seemed to be hours, I have a hard time explaining this next part, though in the dream I felt that this girl, was perfect, the girl of my dreams (so to speak) and the "one" for me (here's where it gets strange) although I felt so strongly for this girl, she was "faceless" and by that I mean I couldn't identify her, as if she were a "blank slate" if that makes any sense. Anyway, after so long of talking we both leaned in for a kiss like you see in a romance movie or something, but before we were able to it was interrupted by one of her friends saying she had to tell her something urgent, my date told me she'd be back, but I waited and waited and waited, and she never came back.


Well, that was the dream, I've been thinking and thinking and thinking about this for a few days now, and I just can't make any sense of it, I can come up with ideas as to what it may mean, but I guess I just don't think they're good enough. My "love-life" personality is an odd one, it takes a pretty special person for me to be interested in dating them, but once I meat that person I fall hard for them, probably getting too attached, i've had 5 relationships, two of which were over a year long, and the shortest being 5 months. Only once did I truly think I was "in-love" though, and that one (like the rest) ended with me being cheated on.


I'm posting this, just to see what other people's opinions on it are, hopefully put my mind at ease, thank-you in advance.

[missellie]

The faceless figure of the girl is mirroring you, there is an element within you which makes you for some reason not show the real you. There must be something in your past that has affected you where relationships are concerned and you now fear showing the true you, you hide behind a facade which gives you protection.
At the same time you do want a relationship in your life but fear that she too will leave you like all the rest have done, maybe you feel deep down that you have no personality and this is why you loose all your girlfreinds through them cheating on you. It is a lack of self worth in yourself caused through your past experiences.
It could stem from your childhood if you had problems then with confidence and your own self image, they can follow you into adulthhod and affect your relationships with others. If you feel that they will always leave you for somebody else then you give over that persona and in a way you show that victim side to your partner, then when the inevitable happens it just reiterates your feelings of not being worthy, but in the end it is a desructive cycle you get yourself into.
The only way to sort it is face up to what image you are giving to any relationship you are in and finding out how to get rid of those self doubts from your past.This way you will be able to move forward and find a girl who will give you the love and companionship you so much want and need. But also the ability to just be yourself and have trust within yourself that you are worthy of any girl. Ellie XXX

[kaywalsk]

That's amazing, thank you so much.