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Please help, its long, strange, and confusing...

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Please help, its long, strange, and confusing...

Postby Vydia » Thu Jul 23, 2009 8:46 am

There are parts of my dream before this that I can't remember and seem unimportant, so my dream starts with Jason and I talking as we exit a building. He's told me that he would like to spend more time with me and now we are walking somewhere together in silence. A short while later Dancer arrives and seems concerned about something. I try to talk with him but don't get anywhere, we just all keep walking together. Jason is trying to tell me something now, but I don't hear what he says because I'm still focusing on Dancer- trying to get him to tell me what is bothering him. As the three of us walk on Dancer starts to walk slower, falling behind our little group. I continue to walk along side of Jason, thinking Dancer doesn't want to be around either of us, but then Dancer grabs my arm to pull me back to him. Now Dancer and I are walking behind Jason, and Jason is getting further and further ahead of us- looking back now and then to see me, seeming frustrated, then moving on ahead. In the dream I can't focus on the fact that Jason wants to talk to me- I have to find out what Dancer needs. Eventually Jason disappears. I never see him leave- he's just gone. Now Dancer and I are walking alone in silence, but at some point he has put his arm around me. We arrive at a movie theater, only I don't remember there actually being a movie screen. I do remember there a couple booths (little tables with people standing behind them) at the front and side of the theater. There are also a lot of people there, coming and going, and an overwhelming feeling of chaos. I don't remember seeing Dancer or Jason at this point, but I know they are there just like I know all of my friends and family are there too, even though I don't remember seeing them. I have this unshakable feeling that something very VERY important happened at this point in my dream, but when I try to remember it all I can remember is PURPLE SMOKE. That's unusual, especially given how many of the mundane details of the rest of the dream I remember (like the way the theater chairs looked and felt, the slight traces of debris stomped into the carpet, ect. ect.). I am outside the theater now and Dancer is with me. We're walking together in silence again and he leads me to a small house then walks me inside. Slight chaos. There are people I don't know everywhere, all loud and too busy to greet us. This is where Dancer lives (though not in real life). He finally speaks to me long enough to tell me he wants me to stay here. I agree. The image flashes and now the house is no longer loud and busy and Dancer is no longer beside me- they are all somewhere else in the house. I know I'm supposed to find a place to sleep now, but he didn't tell me where to go and everywhere seems full, so I find a place on the couch where I sit- waiting for him to come get me. I waited a long time (dream time), then he came back down the stairs, told me he had to leave and started to walk out the door. Somehow I know he means forever. I cry, I try to stop him- he stops just long enough to give me a hug- then walks out the door. I follow, this time just accepting that he's leaving and wanting to at least watch him go. He's walking away, and as he gets about half way out of site a group of children playing kickball appear between us. At first I try to ignore the children- this is the last time I'm going to ever see Dancer again and I want to pay attention- but then they kick the ball to me and I have no choice but to pick it up and give it back. One of the children is talking with me, I talk to him but what I really want is to turn around- see is Dancer is gone, but I don't. I stay outside and play with the children until they are called into bed, then I finally turn around- Dancer is gone. I stare into the distance a moment then turn to walk back inside. Dancer is there. He is sitting at a desk, his head in his arms on top of the desk- face hidden- and from the way his back and shoulders are moving I can tell he's crying- hard. As I walk towards him I see Dancer again (yes, there are two of them now). The second Dancer is chained and shackled to a bed- struggling to be free and screaming to be let out. I want to help them both, but I decide to help the crying Dancer first. As I lay a hand on his back to comfort him- he disappears. Now both Dancers are chained and shackled- side by side. One is begging to be set free, lying still and hanging his head in despair. The other is demanding to be let free, thrashing against his chains and obviously hurting himself in his futile attempt to break free. A third voice from nowhere is telling me I can only free one of them. Somehow I know I am the only one who can unlock the shackles, and the one I don't choose will be stuck there forever. I want to save them both. I try to remind myself I can't- I have to pick one. I can't. I want to save them both. I think maybe I can cheat... maybe I can free just part of each of them- then they can escape. I free the first Dancer's hand and he uses it to pull me close and kiss me. I enjoy it and I want to stay, but I pull away because I know I have to help the other Dancer. I free his leg and he kicks me. I can't tell if he meant to kick me or not- he's thrashing around so much trying to break free he seems unaware that I'm even there. I am hurt, but I still can't choose just one to free- I just HAVE to free them both. As I am getting back up Dancer One (who kissed me) is reaching towards Dancer Two (who kicked me) and the dream ends. I'm in that place between awake and asleep where I'm no longer dreaming but it hasn't occurred to me that the dream wasn't real- I just feel panic- I have to get back there- I have to save them. Of course the feeling fades as I realize that yes, it was just a dream. I'm awake now- living my life as I usually do, but the feelings in the dream were so strong that even as I'm writing this they haven't fully faded. I still want to know what happened to them, I want to know why I can't remember what was so important in the theater= why it comes back as purple smoke, and most of all I want to know what all this means.
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