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An evil being that seems to bring me joy

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An evil being that seems to bring me joy

Postby angela997 » Tue Aug 07, 2018 4:27 am

Sometimes I have a dream about a being of human appearance, immensely beautiful and bright (as in covered by light). However, I perceive it as being evil and the people in my dream are always afraid of it. I feel it is very powerful. Usually I feel very drawn into its presence and I find myself following it into the forest, or thru a multitude of people…I search actively for it and when we see each other, I’m invaded by a joy and wholeness that I never felt in any moment of my real life. It is similar to a sort of euphory perhaps but, at the same time, it is a comforting feeling, unlike a typical euphoric state. Difficult to explain, at least to me. On occasions, I can also feel a bit suspicious and afraid of following it because I don’t know what may really happen.
It can also take non human forms, as a small creature that incites me to follow, or a white horse with reddened eyes or a wild boar that runs fast and terrifies people on its way (usually I dream about people in villages, many similar to places where I grew up, but no one I know).
I’m often looking forward for seeing it again in my dreams but it is not that common. Last time, as various others times, we saw each other in a dark village and we stayed in each other’s presence for moments until I found myself back home. This house was very similar to the one where I lived until my adult years (not so long ago), except for being larger and having much more light. (all the rooms and things there were basically the same). On the table there was a bottle of some sort of alcoholic drink (I don’t drink) and I knew it was a gift from this being. It started to burn on its own and slowly some flames started slowly burning small parts of the house. I tried, with my father’s help (who already passed away) , to contain it but we were mostly failing and I felt helpless. Every time we extinguished a flame, other thing would be burning. Slowly engulfing all. At first, I felt betrayed and sad, because I expected this being to feel something good for me, then I felt guilty because I knew it is evil and yet, due to my strong desire to be close to it, I accepted it into my life and, out of "despair" to see it again, moments before I said that I would choose this evil being to any good or even god. In the end, I just felt confused because I really couldn’t understand what was happening.
I know this sounds VERY weird, but it does touch me somehow…This beautiful feeling, so pure to me, caused but what is perceived to be evil...?
And could the fire mean? A punishment?
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