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What does my dream mean?

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What does my dream mean?

Postby SoulPainter » Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:02 pm

A background story before we get into the dream. I was adopted at birth. I'm a closed adoptee and we are discriminated a lot (I won't get into the politics here). My first mother asked me to find her. When I did she has demanded everyone in the family pretend I don't exist. Since I refused to be her dirty secret for years she won't talk to me. She quickly married another guy after I was gone and had 9, yes 9, more. I have 9 half siblings who are either under 18 and I can't let them know about me until they turn 18 (5) or are adults (4) and have been manipulated, brainwashed, and told lies about me so they won't talk to me. One tried and was manipulated and bullied into not. Another wrote me a nasty letter proving lies are told about me, but told me not to write her back. A cousin was talking to me, all friendly and said how I am treated is awful. I kept the emails cheerful and not too many. Suddenly, no more correspondence (and no, not because she's busy). Another cousin wanted to get to know me, and was so happy to and then was told to block me by her dad/my bio uncle years back, yet she marries an adoptee and this adoptee knows about it all (as his friend is my friend) yet he goes and marries her so either he has no respect for himself or some lie was told about me. It's the same with uncles, cousins, you get the picture. If you're not aware, my first mother, like many others was told she's not the real mother, only the vessel, doesn't deserve me, your husband will leave you, you'll go to hell, etc. She refuses to get help and then makes everyone else miserable. Of course, I want things to change for the better. My bio father is no better. He basically up and left her to attend Cambridge University. My bio paternal aunt found me, a rare gem, and the two of them haven't spoken in 12 years. He immediately blocked me and then unblocked me with threatening to inform the police and press charges if I talk to him or any of his family members. I can talk to anyone I please who is 18 and older. I won't talk to him, as I can't, but if he ever needs a life saving donation from me in the future he'll never get it. I'm his only offspring and I'd rather have him die than help him after all he's done. My half sisters are told I was conceived in rape. It's a flat out lie and I have proof I was not. Either way, nobody deserves such treatment and a good friend of mine's son was conceived in rape by a serial killer, thankfully now dead, who loves her son and never never blames her son and says he is never never a reminder. The multiple surgeries are.



I had a dream 2 nights ago. My adoptive parents and I were still living in our house in Canada. We were going to meet my first mother. However, I kept talking a long time to get ready. The highway/motorway was up high and had a big curve. There were signs like we were on a highway/motorway entering a city. The signs were big and green. I met my first mother outdoors. She was at a picnic table. There was no embrace. We were on opposite sides of the picnic table but she did look over and smile at me. The weather was nice.


Also, maybe I'll bring up some other related dreams from years past.
The sister who tried to get to know me (but was manipulated and bullied into not) was the first to appear in my dream of any bio family member. She was holding my hand and walking me around to meet other family outdoors at a bbq. The grass was green. The weather nice.

The sister who wrote me the nasty email was peeking out at me from behind our mother, shyly watching me. We were on a small cliff, alongside a beach. There was a picnic table, green grass, and a light blue beach house.

There's more.
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Re: What does my dream mean?

Postby Sheena » Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:46 pm

Green is a go signal, and a color of thriving life. Whatever your ambivalence may be toward the context, you are ready to approach it or you strongly desire it.
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Re: What does my dream mean?

Postby SoulPainter » Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:48 pm

Sheena wrote:Green is a go signal, and a color of thriving life. Whatever your ambivalence may be toward the context, you are ready to approach it or you strongly desire it.


That's it? Bummer.

Nothing else? The picnic table? The weather? Outdoors? A smile? Just nothing but my desires?
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Re: What does my dream mean?

Postby Sheena » Mon Feb 12, 2018 1:11 pm

What an ungrateful soul sucker.
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Re: What does my dream mean?

Postby SoulPainter » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:11 pm

Sheena wrote:What an ungrateful soul sucker.



Wow are you rude! That was uncalled for!

Gain some manners.

Ungrateful? I'm grateful you initially responded. I'm just bummed (under your ideas) the dream really doesn't mean much. A nice Iranian woman responded with a completely different answer than you.

So I'm an ungrateful souls sucker? Really, ungrateful for what? Sucking whose soul?

Go ahead, keep bullying behind your protected invisibility.
Something is clearly wrong with you to a) give such a nasty reply and b) think whatsoever that my reply had anything to do with you. Like I said, I'm just bummed.

This is why I can't stand chats. Someone who has been on a long time feels they have the ego driven power to be nasty to the newcomer and then the others huddle around and defend the person and then claim the newcomer is rude. Your response was totally uncalled for.

My "that's it" comment had nothing to do with you. It has to do with finding out the dream means really nothing over all. At least in your interpretation.

Try some self reflection before responding so abruptly next time. You're an uncaring person.

Don't respond back to me. I feel unsafe talking to you.
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Re: What does my dream mean?

Postby Sheena » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:20 am

'Unsafe' are we?
Then you can suck your thumb while you read this:
Bite me!!
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