Dictionary:   A    B    C    D    E    F    G    H    I    J    K      M     N    O    P    Q    R    S    T    U     V    W    X    Y    Z

 

home   .   dream info   .   common dreams  dream dictionary  dream bank   site map   discussion forum  contact us

What is your relationship status?

Got something on your mind? Get it off your chest! Talk about anything here...well almost anything.

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Soulkiss333 » Fri Oct 26, 2012 10:10 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:Miss "SoulKiss"
It sounds like a good match. I have a strange gut feelin on this. Goodluck.


Yoshi13 wrote:I hope everything works out for you soulie!!


Thanks, the good news is that we are both very creativity people so there is a good chance we will figure something out. :)

@ Yoshi
Happy for you Yoshi, one question, what happens when you go away for college? Is he going to try to go with you? Are you close enough where you can visit each other on the weekend? ( that's what me and my bf does).

@Supernatural
I hope you are happy with your bf, Supernatural
"This perfect moment is brought to you by the mummified middle finger of Galileo, which is on display in a museum in Italy. May it inspire you to flip the bird at anyone who proudly embodies the kind of high level idiocy Galileo had endure."
User avatar
Soulkiss333
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 1330
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:27 pm
Location: The Halls of Amenti

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Fri Oct 26, 2012 10:48 am

Glad to hear things are fine for everyone.
Thats a good topic to disscuss.
Thanks "Miss Kiss".
How does a couple surrvive long distances and times of being apart?
Personally I have never needed to suffer thru a long distance romance. I dont believe in them.
The rest of you seem to have a wealth of knowlege in this department.
So spill it.

Peace.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Vulcanoid » Fri Oct 26, 2012 11:54 am

I happen to have experience in this topic, and long-distance-relationships don't work! Period.

People that think they work are just lying themselves. There is no such thing as a relationship without actual contact. It's just a big, fat lie.
Be good. And if you're not, be good at being bad
User avatar
Vulcanoid
MADness by design
MADness by design
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:30 am
Location: Númenórë

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:09 pm

You havent met too many married soldiers. Have you?
It can work.
Brush up on your classic literature.
Why would anyone be forced to read the "odessy" if its complete bull?
I like to think that some of our classic "Heroes" are collections of many people.
Simmilar to james bond being based on several spies of W.W.2. instead of just a made-up concept entirely.
At least thats what Id like to think.
Getting back to reality.
People do make it work.
Some folks wearing Enlisted stripes or Officers markings with a wedding band are Proof of that.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Vulcanoid » Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:18 pm

I just don't believe it works. And it's a proven fact that a huge majority of women married with soldiers cheat them. How is that a relation for you?
No man, a long-distance relationship is not a healthy relationship and it doesn't worth a damn.
Be good. And if you're not, be good at being bad
User avatar
Vulcanoid
MADness by design
MADness by design
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:30 am
Location: Númenórë

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Soulkiss333 » Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:33 pm

So far it has worked for me. I like it, I cant stand having someone constantly bugging me or around me But I do see him. Distance doesnt ruin relationship, doubt does, tho. It wouldnt work for everyone (esp. if you are someone who cant be alone) or as a permanent thing.

Vulcanoid wrote:No man, a long-distance relationship is not a healthiest relationship and it doesn't worth a damn.
.
This is the healthy relationship I have been in and it is worth a lot more than a damn. Teaches how to be alone and not count on others for your happiness, teaches you patients, understanding, trust, the strength of will, appreciation and so on. Why do you speak for everyone just because you dont like it or it wouldnt work for you? It would be better to answer this question about yourself and not for everyone else.
"This perfect moment is brought to you by the mummified middle finger of Galileo, which is on display in a museum in Italy. May it inspire you to flip the bird at anyone who proudly embodies the kind of high level idiocy Galileo had endure."
User avatar
Soulkiss333
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 1330
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:27 pm
Location: The Halls of Amenti

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Vulcanoid » Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:51 pm

You may be in a long-distance relationship but i assume you meet with your bf at least once a month or so.
I mean, what's the reason to be in a relationship if you don't get to meet your loved one... only once a year?

It bugs me. It's something i can not comprehend. Don't get me wrong, i think they work if you get to meet your partner every now and then.
Be good. And if you're not, be good at being bad
User avatar
Vulcanoid
MADness by design
MADness by design
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:30 am
Location: Númenórë

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:05 pm

Nothing wrong with take-ing a stand "Noid".
I Asked.
Though I may have been reluctant to choose my words more..........carefully.
I keep needing reminders on how "short tmpered" the modern world can be.
Happens with technology andvancements in communication.
Though I am getting the info I desired.
Thanks.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:36 pm

orionfoxgibson wrote:You havent met too many married soldiers. Have you?
It can work.
Brush up on your classic literature.
Why would anyone be forced to read the "odessy" if its complete bull?
I like to think that some of our classic "Heroes" are collections of many people.
Simmilar to james bond being based on several spies of W.W.2. instead of just a made-up concept entirely.
At least thats what Id like to think.
Getting back to reality.
People do make it work.
Some folks wearing Enlisted stripes or Officers markings with a wedding band are Proof of that.

I don't think you have met too many married soldiers, hahaha. The military isn't exactly known for successful marriages. I'm not saying successful marriages don't happen in the military, I just think it's a bad example.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:49 pm

My Grandparents, My Parents, My Sister and her hubby, Three of My Cousins all are Military couples.
My best friends dad and his wife= soldier and nurse. Matter of fact most of my friends parents are military couples.
My bookstore keeper is married to a vietnam vet. Quite a few of my highschool teachers were military couples. .....They still are.
Just go to church and ask around. Im certain you can aquaint yourself with quite a few military couples. Who make it work.
Granted I grew-up on a Base but I rarely heard of divorce.
The stories you hear about may be famous but thats not the majority.
Sorry
Your assessment is incorrect.
I know many military couples.
But I am touched by your concern for my Information to be accurate.
Thanks. "Miss.Lynn"
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:23 pm

orionfoxgibson wrote:My Grandparents, My Parents, My Sister and her hubby, Three of My Cousins all are Military couples.
My best friends dad and his wife= soldier and nurse. Matter of fact most of my friends parents are military couples.
My bookstore keeper is married to a vietnam vet. Quite a few of my highschool teachers were military couples. .....They still are.
Just go to church and ask around. Im certain you can aquaint yourself with quite a few military couples. Who make it work.
Granted I grew-up on a Base but I rarely heard of divorce.
The stories you hear about may be famous but thats not the majority.
Sorry
Your assessment is incorrect.
I know many military couples.
But I am touched by your concern for my Information to be accurate.
Thanks. "Miss.Lynn"

Maybe back in the day, yes. However, now-a-days the cheating, lying, military husbands and wives run rampant. As a former military significant other, who has an incredibly large group of military couple and former military couple friends, I'm also speaking from experience. Of course, my dad and brother were also in the military. None of their relationships worked out. My great uncle was in Vietnam, and his did. It's a time difference. Go to church and ask around? Why church? Because some religions don't believe in divorce? Why not look at the population, in general, not on a bias. Right now, divorce rate for the general population is about 50%. It's been steady like that for a while. The military has changed greatly and I can see this simply by talking to "old" military members verses what THEY call the "new" military members. Have you been on a base recently? Been to a ball recently? Interact with a social group, literally only for military couples recently? I promise, the military does not have a higher rate of successful long-term marriages than the civilian world. Not in today's day in age, anyway.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:40 pm

Funny.
I find it odd.
I think location might have something to do with it.
I spent alot of my edjucational years in the south (N.C.).
Quite a few of the people I knew to be hitched before I left it are still hitched.
im not saying your Information is wrong.
I just find it interesting.
Could be a cultural difference.
The "church" line I mentioned came from my experience. I gave up on god along time ago but in any given chuch in the south you walked into you could find several sucssessfull married couples millitary or otherwise.
And no I havent been on a base since..........New years day 2000.
Its a long story.
Sorry to hear there are quite a few who dont favor old school values.
Does this mean i should call my sister and tell her to get a lawyer?
No.
50%?
I think I need to see the document on that.
I trust you.
But I need to see the info with my own eyes if its ok with you.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:47 pm

P.S. I Am Sorry about your story.
I didnt mean any harm.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:53 pm

orionfoxgibson wrote:Funny.
I find it odd.
I think location might have something to do with it.
I spent alot of my edjucational years in the south (N.C.).
Quite a few of the people I knew to be hitched before I left it are still hitched.
im not saying your Information is wrong.
I just find it interesting.
Could be a cultural difference.
The "church" line I mentioned came from my experience. I gave up on god along time ago but in any given chuch in the south you walked into you could find several sucssessfull married couples millitary or otherwise.
And no I havent been on a base since..........New years day 2000.
Its a long story.
Sorry to hear there are quite a few who dont favor old school values.
Does this mean i should call my sister and tell her to get a lawyer?
No.
50%?
I think I need to see the document on that.
I trust you.
But I need to see the info with my own eyes if its ok with you.

According to cdc.gov..

Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population
Divorce rate: 3.4 per 1,000 population

So for every 1000 people. 6.8 get marriage and 3.4, half, get divorced. According to my textbooks for the Marriage and Intimate Relationships class, it fluctuates a bit, but has remained steadily around 50% for years now. And a relevant article, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/2 ... 35938.html

As I said, in the older military, Im sure there was more marriages staying together than apart, but I know that's changed. It's kind of sad. Now, all I hear about from friends is cheating husbands, cheating wives, barracks bunnies, and contract-marriages. It really sucks for the girlfriends that are faithful.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:59 pm

Its painfull to hear but thanks.
I really needed to hear that.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:02 pm

I had a bad feeling that simple respects were dropping.
But to hear this is ...........
i dont know.
Thank you anyway.
My point with "Noid" still stands though.
Im not letting that slip.
But thanks for the facts.
"Miss Lynn"
I wish you goodluck on your journey.
Peace.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:05 pm

orionfoxgibson wrote:Its painfull to hear but thanks.
I really needed to hear that.

:( Sorry, I know it's not a fun statistic. As someone who has really strong views on marriage, I think it's incredibly abused and taken too lightly. Unfortunately, I can't change other people's views on the permanence or importance of a healthy non-disposable marriage, but that's why I study what I do. Maybe I can help some people down the road. I'm not really looking to be a counselor, but who knows.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:10 pm

That charts too old heres a fresh one.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q= ... sV-dZTDzkA
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:12 pm

According to the chart of stats above for every 100 marriges of service people, there are only 4 that end in divorce.( Not half is it?)
The percentage is up 65% though. Compared to past years.
But thats just the news.
If its accurate is debateable.
So, "Miss Lynn"
You want to get into marriage counsolor-ing?
That sounds like a noble cause.
I like that you have some info on a wide array of knolledge on couples.
So......
What is the hardest arguement a couple can survive?
(Its a theme with me in this place.)
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Vulcanoid » Tue Oct 30, 2012 12:04 am

Chelsea Lynn wrote:marriage, I think it's incredibly abused and taken too lightly. Unfortunately, I can't change other people's views on the permanence or importance of a healthy non-disposable marriage, but that's why I study what I do. Maybe I can help some people down the road. I'm not really looking to be a counselor, but who knows.

Yes, i completely, 100% agree.
Marriage is taken too lightly these days.It's not a serious thing anymore. "To better or worse" are only words they say because they have to, but it's not the same in the "real" world.
There are so few people that are married for valid reasons.... It's sad really.
Be good. And if you're not, be good at being bad
User avatar
Vulcanoid
MADness by design
MADness by design
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:30 am
Location: Númenórë

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:43 am

Marrige taken lightly is New?
Come on.
This has been an Item of disscussion for 20 years.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:12 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:So......
What is the hardest arguement a couple can survive?
(Its a theme with me in this place.)

I don't know. I mean, I think it depends greatly on the couple. Some people can't handle arguments at all. While others, can fight through the hardest of times. There's so much that comes into play when discussing what a couple can survive.

As far as people taking marriage seriously, I think it's safe to say most people see it as something serious, but the idea that it's disposable is growing quickly. I agree that isn't exactly a NEW thing. There is research that shows a fewrecent trends, however. I thought I'd share, because they're interesting.

#1. The rate of marriage is dropping. -- "The rate of marriage has declined from a high of 68% in 1970 to 52% in 2000."
#2. An increase in people who get divorced, choose not to remarry. -- "From 1970 to 1996, the number of people living divorced tripled."
#3. The number of couples who are cohabiting, without getting married has increased. -- "As of 2002, over 50% of females ages 19 to 44 has been in cohabiting relationships for sometime during their lives, compared to the 33% in 1987. From 1970 to 2007, cohabitation increased by more than 1000%."

In the 1950s, divorce rate was around 20%. That's because people had a different view on marriage, women, etc. That doesn't mean 80% of marriages were happy, it just means only 20% chose divorce. Now, things have certainly changed, with the general divorce rate hovering at 50% for a while now. it means half of the people that get marriage, choose to get unmarried. There has been a decline in marriage. Frankly, I couldn't tell you why, but I can tell you that for my age group, my problem seems to be, the fact that they don't take marriage seriously enough. For a young couple, all they can see is, "Lets be together forever!" Sometimes that works out, but most of the time I'd say they fail to see the hurdles that come along with marriage; emotionally, financially, etc. Marriage isn't an easy thing. Loving someone may come easily, but marriage is a challenge. I can't speak for all people, but I can say that the younger couples I see getting married, don't see it that way. They expect everything to just fall into place and be peachy. They don't discuss expectations, they don't discuss major life decisions. By the time they do, they have already become an issue.

All of the number information is from my text book which was published in 2011 and this particular section was using information from the Census in 2004.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Vulcanoid » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:16 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:Marrige taken lightly is New?
Come on.
This has been an Item of disscussion for 20 years.

And you consider 20 years to be a long time? Not me...
Be good. And if you're not, be good at being bad
User avatar
Vulcanoid
MADness by design
MADness by design
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:30 am
Location: Númenórë

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:22 am

For marriage, 20 years isn't that long. It's existed since the dawn of man, practically. But for humans, 20 years is a while. I mean, it's my entire life time thus far. :lol: I'm not even 20 until next month. Relatively to humans, it's about a third of your life, if you live to about 70. So I'd say, to us, it's a pretty long time.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:25 am

What would the stats show if all of the "cohabitors or People living together without marry-ing", got married.?
(Dun da Dunaaaaaaaaaaaa.)
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:34 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:What would the stats show if all of the "cohabitors or People living together without marry-ing", got married.?
(Dun da Dunaaaaaaaaaaaa.)

I'm not sure, lol, but I wouldn't urge them to. Mainly because I think that would end up in more divorce. I don't think divorce is immoral, but I know it causes a lot of problems (generally) for family units. It's also expensive and a pain in the butt. If I had my way, people would be much more prepared for marriage to begin with, and take the time to consider exactly what marriage consists of..rather than jumping in head-first and having to call it off.

I encourage people to live together prior to getting married. I'm cohabiting. It's quite nice. It's kind of a test run, or at least, that's how I view it. We've been living together for almost 6 months now, and I don't plan on getting married until after I graduate. So, I figure, if my boyfriend and I can live together successfully for 3 years, we can get marriage. Of course, I'm also taking as much as I can into consideration and helping him do the same.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:53 am

I still dont have my question answered.
What is the greatest arguement a couple can survive?
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:55 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:I still dont have my question answered.
What is the greatest arguement a couple can survive?

I don't think there is a right answer to that. That's why I said, "I don't know. I mean, I think it depends greatly on the couple. Some people can't handle arguments at all. While others, can fight through the hardest of times. There's so much that comes into play when discussing what a couple can survive."
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:04 am

Thats O.K. not to answer.
Its kind of a....."Whats your favorite flavor?" question.
As opposed to........
"Whats the seinor thesis paper about?" kind of question.
A getting to know you question I posed a while back.
No big deal.
Thanks "Miss Lynn".
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:05 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:Thats O.K. not to answer.
Its kind of a....."Whats your favorite flavor?" question.
As opposed to........
"Whats the seinor thesis paper about?" kind of question.
A getting to know you question I posed a while back.
No big deal.
Thanks "Miss Lynn".

By asking, "a couple" I can't really answer.I don't know about "a couple," but I can tell you what my own personal limits are. Cheating, being heinously religious, and lying are some deal-breakers of mine, so things that my relationship couldn't survive.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Wed Oct 31, 2012 7:53 am

Why Be so demanding with "honesty"?
Just a thought.
Its o.k. not to answer.
Trust me on this. "Miss Lynn".
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Wed Oct 31, 2012 8:20 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:Why Be so demanding with "honesty"?
Just a thought.
Its o.k. not to answer.
Trust me on this. "Miss Lynn".

Honesty is my policy. Its always served me well and I don't except any less from my partner.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Wed Oct 31, 2012 8:23 am

"Serve"?
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:24 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:"Serve"?

I don't see the point in lying, is what I'm saying. I was taught to be honest and I've never had an issue with it. It's just one of my own morals and convictions. It's something that makes me trustworthy; it's part of integrity. I prefer to keep things as free from untruthfulness as possible.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:29 am

Funny.
i dont trust you.
Oh well, "you cant have your cake and eat it too".
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:04 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:Funny.
i dont trust you.
Oh well, "you cant have your cake and eat it too".

lol. It's kind of strange to say, but okay. You don't have to trust me. You don't even know me. :roll:
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby MissWong » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:47 am

Chelsea Lynn wrote:
orionfoxgibson wrote:"Serve"?

I don't see the point in lying, is what I'm saying. I was taught to be honest and I've never had an issue with it. It's just one of my own morals and convictions. It's something that makes me trustworthy; it's part of integrity. I prefer to keep things as free from untruthfulness as possible.


Same here. I want the same from my partner that I am giving, and honesty is a must.
" I tried to cook something from scratch... and ended up summoning a demon"
User avatar
MissWong
Ting-Ting
Ting-Ting
 
Posts: 1850
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2012 5:08 am

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Soulkiss333 » Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:23 pm

Vulcanoid wrote:You may be in a long-distance relationship but i assume you meet with your bf at least once a month or so.
I mean, what's the reason to be in a relationship if you don't get to meet your loved one... only once a year?

It bugs me. It's something i can not comprehend. Don't get me wrong, i think they work if you get to meet your partner every now and then.


Yes I do see him. And this is much better...It just sounded like you were sayin all of it is a lie. I hate for ppl to speak for me. Thanks for clearing that up :D
And I agree that it isnt or work for most ppl.



As for the whole honesty thing. I think honesty is too weak. You can be a honest person and have no integrity. Integrity is a must for me (character). Like a guy being honest telling a girl if she gets pregnant he is not staying around because he is not ready to be a dad and she agreed and later on she does gets pregnant and he leaves or has nothing to do with the child...yes he is still honest but has no integrity. I can think of many more examples where honesty is weak. [url]Ppl use honesty to get out of responsibilities[/url]...by sayin hey I was honest...BS. That's my opinion of honesty. I more demanding I guess :D
"This perfect moment is brought to you by the mummified middle finger of Galileo, which is on display in a museum in Italy. May it inspire you to flip the bird at anyone who proudly embodies the kind of high level idiocy Galileo had endure."
User avatar
Soulkiss333
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 1330
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:27 pm
Location: The Halls of Amenti

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:26 am

Soulkiss333 wrote:As for the whole honesty thing. I think honesty is too weak. You can be a honest person and have no integrity. Integrity is a must for me (character). Like a guy being honest telling a girl if she gets pregnant he is not staying around because he is not ready to be a dad and she agreed and later on she does gets pregnant and he leaves or has nothing to do with the child...yes he is still honest but has no integrity. I can think of many more examples where honesty is weak. [url]Ppl use honesty to get out of responsibilities[/url]...by sayin hey I was honest...BS. That's my opinion of honesty. I more demanding I guess :D


I agree that you can be honest, but still be a crappy person. I don't think honesty is used to get out of responsibilities, however. For your specific example, if a guy told me he would leave if I got pregnant, it would be both of our responsibilities to make sure we didn't have children. And to me, it means I wouldn't be with him at all. I, personally, won't date anyone that won't grow-a-pair and be a father if I get pregnant. I would, however, be grateful he told me he wouldn't be around to begin. What if he lied? What if he said, he would be a father..then ended up leaving anyway? That's when problems come around. By telling me the truth, he would have saved us both trouble, because there would be no relationship to begin with. Try to be in a relationship where you're constantly being lied to, it won't work out too well. That's why honesty is important.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:57 am

Honesty Vs Intergrety?
Thats a new disscussion that I like.
If someone told me they dont want to see me because thier Moms sick, But in reality they really dont like me I wouldnt be too offended.
But I can honestly say the number of times I have seen diss-color-ation on a womans hand where a ring should be is "concerning" (to say the verry least).
Im kinda torn on this one.
Though I do favor people that show a moral code berfore getting deeply involved.
Lie or no lie.
What is thier mission in life?
If you cant answer this question about a person, theres probably not going to be much to pursue (other than a wild night or two).
Thats a good productive question.
Lets keep it going.
Next person?
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Vulcanoid » Fri Nov 02, 2012 9:51 am

This is interesting, how people see "Honesty" as a weakness.
I see "Honesty" as one of the best traits one could have in a relationship. The weak ones are the one who will succumb into deceit during hard times.
Sorry, but i don't see how being honest is a weakness. I may be blind.
Be good. And if you're not, be good at being bad
User avatar
Vulcanoid
MADness by design
MADness by design
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:30 am
Location: Númenórë

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Soulkiss333 » Fri Nov 02, 2012 11:12 am

I dont think honesty is a weakness....I think honesty is weak compare to integrity. Honesty simply means not to lie where Integrity is so much more. Yes, I think honesty is important but integrity is more powerful. Integrity is being accountable for yourself, it is risk to you and always benefits the other person not you.

Chelsea Lynn (btw, welcome back)...my example was to show how someone can use honesty to get out of responsibility (at no risk to them). You may never had a relationship with that person, but there are ppl who are so love that they do agree. And yes they are both responsible for her not to get pregnant but what if she still does, which does happen in real life. Honesty gets him off the hook because he said in the beginning that he wasnt staying if that happens and he leaves but is still an honest person, however, integrity doesnt let him off the hook no matter what he said in the beginning of the relationship even if it was the truth...there is now a child and according to integrity he is still responsible for that child.

I know ppl (not all) use honesty to hide behind/get out of responsibility because I was one of those ppl. I been going to anger management classes over five years (I dont have to anymore, but I do when I can). One of my biggest issues was I did this very thing, I use honesty as a defense mechanism. I had to learn the difference between honesty and integrity. I used to be brutally honest with ppl. I was never tactful, I didnt care if I hurt other ppl, hell I was only being honest and I thought if they were hurt by my remarks then it was their problem and they were weak, not my fault if they cant handle the truth. I was so wrong. I was an honest person but had no integrity. I cant just say what I want to..yes I can still tell the truth but I had learn to be tactful (care). Even if I told ppl upfront "if this happens......, I'm not going to be responsible," I actually thought that would get me off the hook if I stated that because if things turn south I always had a escape goat (no matter how unmoral... you could never call me a liar and I could use that on the other person, they had nothing on me because I had already stated my intentions and they had agree to it when I stated it, so it was their fault in my mind)...already told if this happen I'm cleaning my hands of it. Communication is a responsibility that is shared by all involved and if someone is being hurt than it is all our faults and we cant hide behind honesty and say I was only telling the truth, our responsibility is to learn to be tactful while being honest.

Again I am not against honesty...I am always very upfront in my relationships like the guy in my example, and I wish more ppl would be more honest upfront so we can make decision in the direction we should go (but not everyone is like me in that way), but I feel integrity is a lot more powerful.
"This perfect moment is brought to you by the mummified middle finger of Galileo, which is on display in a museum in Italy. May it inspire you to flip the bird at anyone who proudly embodies the kind of high level idiocy Galileo had endure."
User avatar
Soulkiss333
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 1330
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:27 pm
Location: The Halls of Amenti

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Fri Nov 02, 2012 11:38 am

The fact of the matter is that people lie.
I know its unfair But thats life.
Life is not fair.
People lie.
And the "tooth fairy" is not real.
(Forgot to say spioler alert. Damn.)
Figguring out a way out of all the messes that life gives you is a defining..."measure" of what kind of person we are.
You get a hurddle? You jump.
You see a knife? Draw a gun.
Someone lies to you? Figgure it out and deal with it.
I wish life could be fair.
I wish people did not lie.
Relationships would be extreemly organized, easy to have, and maintain.
But thats not the world we live in.
I gave up looking for a woman that does not lie to me.
Rather I now look for the woman that can successfully lie to me.
Or what exactly is the drive behind the lie.?
Mission Oriented? Presentation? Cant bother with the truth due to time or convienience?
When it comes to lies itsa matter of "respect".
I have found that if they cant sucsessfully lie to me then,,,,, respecting me and the relationship may be an issue.
Odd as it sounds I cant respect a terrible lie.
And its here that I find that when a person employs the practice. You either have oversepped your bounds or they have a major issue with respect.
At this point I terminate the relationship with a fun and interesting send off (like being caught with her sister or best friend).
( Othertimes include invite-ing their fiance over when the girl and I are in the middle of ........something.)
And My personal favorite.
(Dropping her and bailing out when all of the bills are due to her.)
If anyone wants to associate me with a monster.........I understand.
Nothing personal taken.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Vulcanoid » Fri Nov 02, 2012 3:04 pm

Alright stop, it's really hurting my head. Soulkiss, I don't want to be a shitty jackass, or call you weak, but I'll be blunt in this post.
Of course you think that honesty is a "weak" trait in comparison to integrity. How could you not? I may be tired, I may have skipped some lines, I could have sworn you meant that "if you are honest, you lack integrity."
Then i guess i lack integrity as a whole... or never had integrity to begin with.... what a pain in the ass.
It's a matter of perspective, really. You may think that having this or that trait is better than having that or this. Or one virtue or quality is better than another.

'But in the end, it doesn't even matter'. It's about you and your relationship with your family and friends and lover. Is about being able to look your loved ones in the eye, with clear eyes and love in your heart, and know that you didn't let them down and that you told them the truth. This is not weakness. This is strength

Can you live like that?
Be good. And if you're not, be good at being bad
User avatar
Vulcanoid
MADness by design
MADness by design
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:30 am
Location: Númenórë

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:06 am

I thought I was acting like a child.
:infinity:
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:37 am

Forgive that last entry.
Im not myself lately.
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:09 am

As Soulkiss was saying, I do thing tactfulness is important to have. There IS such a thing as brutal honesty. Sometimes it comes across as downright mean, and can be. If a girlfriend of mine says, "Does this dress make me look fat?" and she does. I'm certainly not going to say, "Why yes, you do look fat." But I might say, "I don't really like it on you, why not try this dress over here."

I'm with Vulcanoid on the premise that honesty is one of the best traits in a relationship. Honesty allows you to communicate successfully and truthfully. Communication allows you to be vulnerable to one another. Vulnerability makes way for intimacy, which is the goal of a relationship (most the time, I'm talking about in an ideal situation, not bang-buddies and such.)
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:16 am

Honesty is a goal in relationships.
Honesty is not always prevale-ant in relationships.
Its a growing pain we all deal with.
Get schooled or get out.
Thats all Im saying.
"Experience" has taught me that the "Perfect world" demanded on us by the youth is "Bull". And "Double Standard".
I repeat.
"Get schooled or get out."
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby orionfoxgibson » Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:20 am

P.S.
The word "policy" is insulting to even hear.
Like we can bring these issues to a committy.?
"Who's More Foolish? The Fool? Or the one who follows him?"
orionfoxgibson
Dream Warrior
Dream Warrior
 
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:31 am
Location: Southern California

Re: What is your relationship status?

Postby Chelsea Lynn » Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:27 am

orionfoxgibson wrote:Honesty is a goal in relationships.
Honesty is not always prevale-ant in relationships.
Its a growing pain we all deal with.

Get schooled or get out.
Thats all Im saying.
"Experience" has taught me that the "Perfect world" demanded on us by the youth is "Bull". And "Double Standard".
I repeat.
"Get schooled or get out."


I agree with the bolded. Things aren't always as pretty and perfect as we want it to be. No one can be 100% honest 100% of the time. That's why I'm no longer with the last liar, and moved on to someone who is more honest.
Image
User avatar
Chelsea Lynn
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:40 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Rant And Rave

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests

Shared Bottom Border