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Tension building. What's the best way to handle this situati

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Tension building. What's the best way to handle this situati

Postby dreamerseeker » Sat Jun 16, 2018 10:28 am

My cousin (35 years old) and his wife (33 years old) have 4 kids and they allow them to do whatever they want with no consequence. The children (ages: 6, 4, 4, and 3) destroy everything in their path and the parents don't say or do anything about it.

For example:
1. A family friend came over to their house and the 6-year-old got into this person's car and decided to snoop around in it. Pushing buttons, starting the ignition, etc and one of the 4-year-olds climbed onto the roof of the car and started jumping up and down and the parents just sat there and ignored it. The family friend had to tell the kids himself to get down and out of his car because the parents wouldn't say anything.

Their parenting motto is that you should allow the kids to do whatever they want whether right or wrong because when they grow up, they will learn right from wrong on their own. If the kids get hurt, the parents will say "They'll learn."
And each time the kids break something that belongs to the parents, the father (my cousin)'s response is always "This is why we can't have nice things. Hahaha." Lord, I so badly just want to tell my cousin "Yeah, YOU'RE the reason. Maybe if you do your job as parents and DISCIPLINE your kids, you would have nice things." I desperately want to tell them that. But I know for a fact that I would be all alone in standing up because everyone around (including my own parents) would be against me for speaking up. Not only would my cousin and his wife be Pissed off and yell at me in their defense, but my own parents would also be Pissed and yell at me about how I shouldn't say that, that's rude, stop arguing, drop it, etc.

I feel that something should be said or done to get it through to the parents' heads to change their parenting style in order to protect the safety of the kids as well as the safety and property of everyone they come in contact with.
The 4 kids swear like sailors, they randomly punch people in the gut, they throw rocks at people, they randomly destroy other people's things, I once witnessed one of the 4-year olds kick their small dog as hard as he could then laughed hysterically when the dog fell down, and the parents do not care at all. On special occasions, the parents will give the kids a time-out, but the kids decide on their own when to get up. No one in my family has the balls to say anything, and it is really getting on my nerves at how stupid the parents are.

I know everyone DOES agree with me because when my cousin and his wife are not around, everyone including my parents, fairly often, talk among each other behind my cousin's back at how bad of parents he and his wife are, that it's ridiculous, etc. but I know for a fact that if I speak up to them I will be alone and everyone will argue with me and tell me to drop it. Then I will feel like a dumb, rude fool for even trying to say something when it's 10-against-1.
I've dealt with it for so long that it is building tension up in me to lash out at them to control their kids.
I absolutely cannot stand to witness children be so wild and out of control doing dangerous and malicious things while the parents just sit there and ignore it all.
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Re: Tension building. What's the best way to handle this sit

Postby VenusInChains » Tue Jun 19, 2018 7:57 pm

You can't really say anything to them, telling someone how to parent is a sensitive subject.
Is it possible the kids have ADHD? This can be exhausting in itself and normal discipline techniques wouldn't work on them (like walking out of time out)
Oh well
Whatever
Never mind
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Re: Tension building. What's the best way to handle this sit

Postby Darknesswithin » Thu Jun 21, 2018 11:12 am

Yell at those little brats. And if they don't listen, smack em hard at their behind.
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Re: Tension building. What's the best way to handle this sit

Postby Nostalgic » Thu Jun 21, 2018 2:44 pm

I agree with Venus, its a sensitive subject,
I can see why you would want to step in and say something as it sounds frustrating, also some parents won’t ask for help when they need it, but mentioning it all cause more problems for you than it’s worth.
Unless they are in serious danger or abuse, stay out of it.
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Re: Tension building. What's the best way to handle this sit

Postby Darknesswithin » Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:32 pm

I wonder if its a cultural thing. A typical black and Hispanic family wouldn't put up with that. At least not when I was growing up. Its only in white families where I saw kids telling their parents what to do while behaving recklessly. No wonder parents are now afraid of their own kids.

Asian parents can be very strict as well.
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