Dictionary:   A    B    C    D    E    F    G    H    I    J    K      M     N    O    P    Q    R    S    T    U     V    W    X    Y    Z

 

home   .   dream info   .   common dreams  dream dictionary  dream bank   site map   discussion forum  contact us

What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Got something on your mind? Get it off your chest! Talk about anything here...well almost anything.

What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby dreamerseeker » Mon Oct 09, 2017 12:06 pm

First of all..I am NOT rich at all, but all throughout my school years, I always liked to dress like I am. (Fancy shirts, slacks, nice jewelry, etc.)

But now that I am 24 yrs old, I feel that my personality is changing. I am into a more basic/simple style now. I am a huge nature and animal lover. I want to practice meditation, aromatherapy, etc. and set a better life for myself in a pure way.

Anyways, the problem is, I told my mom I want to change my style and I showed her some pics of the new clothing I want and she completely insulted me. My mom told me "You choose the ugliest style....you went from fancy to looking like a hobo.....even I wouldn't wear that....I don't know why you want these, it's not who you are, I don't understand."

My mom even walked over to me and asked: "Why do you like these clothes?" I said, "I don't know, because I do." She went on to explain they look like clothes for the homeless, etc.



I feel totally stupid now. Is it wrong to change your style? Do I have a mental problem because I happened to see something new and different that I like? I'm tired of looking like a dress-up doll. I want to be myself, but apparently I'm doing it wrong.

Yes, I am emotionally sensitive, that's another issue I struggle with. But is it normal for parents to downgrade you? I literally feel emotionally torn and alone right now.
User avatar
dreamerseeker
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:44 am
Location: Boredomsville, USA

Re: What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby Xwikki » Mon Oct 09, 2017 1:17 pm

UHhHhhHHHHHHhhh. Move out. Or tell your mom that she doesn't own you. Or both. Do both. And then never talk to your parents again and realise they were the most toxic and disgusting people you've ever met and you're better off without them (I might be a little biased).

How the did you even manage to get a "I think I have a mental problem" thing out of a "I want to reach out and try some different things and see if they work" thing. The latter is literally the most normal af thing ever. So what if you want to look like a hobo. I tried for a long time to conform to a conventional (what my friends and family wanted) lifestyle and finally got out of their nasty "this is what's best for you" grips ew.

Anyway tell your mom to shut up and get over it and cut the knees out of your favourite jeans just to spite her.

*Edit: Meditation and aromatherapy wont magically make your life feel more fulfilled. Instagram is full of shit.

*Edit: What the hell pure what. Again, instagram is full of shit and looking at some crystals isn't gonna solve squat.
Xwikki
Dream Moods Queen 2011 - Going Dark
Dream Moods Queen 2011 - Going Dark
 
Posts: 11270
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: England

Re: What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby dreamerseeker » Mon Oct 09, 2017 1:56 pm

Xwikki wrote:How the did you even manage to get a "I think I have a mental problem" thing out of a "I want to reach out and try some different things and see if they work" thing.

Cuz I'm convinced I'm psychotic or something, just by the way I'm treated by everyone in my life (parents, family members, society), and because of the fact I'm emotionally sensitive (take nearly everything to the heart) and I can't control it.

I don't want to wear something new and different and then have the whole society laugh or make nasty faces at me....At least that hasn't happened to me yet with my "fancy" style. Society just stares with a blank expression, which is fine with me but I don't want to do anything to make myself look ugly either. I just want something comfortable and different but not "too far out", you know?


Anyway, thanks for reading and replying Xwikki.
User avatar
dreamerseeker
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:44 am
Location: Boredomsville, USA

Re: What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby Xwikki » Mon Oct 09, 2017 2:29 pm

No no no psychosis isn't just like... people treating you like crap and having an emotional response to that. Like as far as I understand psychosis it's an extreme loss of reality which can include paranoia/not believing rationale/hallucinations/deluded behaviour and basically just completely losing your shit. Like it's a real difficult one because it's such a weird area and periods of psychosis can be hard to separate from the disorder that the person usually has since (bipolar/BPD/schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder/) tends to mess with your personality as a whole so the person is offish anyway compared to other people.

Anyway, I'm not trying to say there's nothing wrong with you but I'm also trying to throw out there that you've gotten to a point of realisation that your life doesn't revolve around your parents and what they say anymore. You've never known any different way of dressing therefore you'll have concerns/worries about this change and what impact it will have. ("what if this new idea is stupid?" "what if mom is right?" "what if people say it's stupid too and i'll look stupid" etc).

My advice is to go shopping on your own and stare at other people. "What are they wearing?" "Ok, so skinny jeans are in and they're acceptable and I like that so what can I put with that to make it comfortable and secure for me?" OR "ok they're wearing a really cool sweater so I can maybe look for something like that because I like that" "How can I make this work for me?" <<< questions to ask yourself
Xwikki
Dream Moods Queen 2011 - Going Dark
Dream Moods Queen 2011 - Going Dark
 
Posts: 11270
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: England

Re: What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby tropicalheatwave » Mon Oct 09, 2017 3:30 pm

Once you begin see that most adults are childish and aren't any more mature than most 15 year olds (this includes our parents, world leaders, and even those that society looks up to), it becomes much more difficult to take their words seriously and a lot easier to just disregard them. Though this often comes from honest self observation. Whether you choose to wear your own style or what fits in, is up to you. I can understand both choices which often depends on how the environment will react and how much you are willing to handle. At times its wiser to just play along and blend in, while other times you may be better off saying "the hell with everyone" and just do you.

dreamerseeker wrote:Cuz I'm convinced I'm psychotic or something, just by the way I'm treated by everyone in my life (parents, family members, society), and because of the fact I'm emotionally sensitive (take nearly everything to the heart) and I can't control it.


Unfortunately being emotionally sensitive is frowned upon and considered as a sign of weakness. Which creates a lot of inner turmoil. Acceptance is hard. Nothing is wrong in it.
tropicalheatwave
put 'em up!
put 'em up!
 
Posts: 2398
Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:05 pm
Location: The third planet from the sun

Re: What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby VenusInChains » Tue Oct 10, 2017 2:23 am

Wear what you want to wear. Don't set yourself on fire to keep your mother warm.
Oh well
Whatever
Never mind
User avatar
VenusInChains
Out Of This World
Out Of This World
 
Posts: 1635
Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:53 pm
Location: Elsewhere

Re: What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby dreamerseeker » Tue Oct 10, 2017 4:36 pm

Xwikki, tropicalheatwave, and VenusInChains,

Thank you very much for your advice, I appreciate it!


I am feeling a bit better now (emotionally). When I showed my mom the pictures of some new clothes I like, I was expecting a bad reaction from her, but the reaction she gave me was way more than what I was expecting. She really insulted me big time with nearly every insult a person could say to someone. And it really hurt badly coming from my own mother...

I know I should just be myself and wear what makes me happy. Too true. When I move out, maybe I'll wear my new style behind my mom's back when she is nowhere around :D

Besides, it's just a new style of PANTS. It's not like I'm changing my gender....
User avatar
dreamerseeker
Dream Seeker
Dream Seeker
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:44 am
Location: Boredomsville, USA

Re: What should I do? (Serious answers only please.)

Postby Tal » Wed Oct 18, 2017 2:42 am

Part of becoming an adult means you stop worrying about your parents opinion on your wardrobe. You're 24. Well past the age of consent and it's time to express your adulthood in ways that suit you.
Venus' quote was perfect. And to use the latest parlance, you do you.
Tal
A Helping Hand
A Helping Hand
 
Posts: 3577
Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:33 am


Return to Rant And Rave

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests

Shared Bottom Border